One Hundred Thirty-One

Richie stared morosely out the plane window, silent headphones stuck in his ears to avoid conversation until he could get out of this shitty mood.  It had taken Jon only half a second to recognize the look in his eye and steer himself the other direction when they met at the airport. 

It had been ten days and the paternity test was still grating against Richie’s nerves.  He wished he had never let them stick that swab in his mouth. 

The fact that he wouldn’t be in the country for Allegra’s next appointment had no more left his mouth than Dr. Shively had appropriated his DNA by cramming a big Q-tip in his jaw.  Now, not only did he not want the test, he wouldn’t even be there for it.  That didn’t improve his opinion in the slightest.

He was also still kicking himself that he’d let them do this without asking more questions, especially about the amniocentesis.  Heather didn’t have the procedure and he was unfamiliar with it, so afterward he asked Allegra to fill him in on what she knew.  Upon hearing the details, he wasted no time in breaking it down to its simplest factor.  “So if there’s something wrong with the baby do you want to abort it?”

She’d been aghast that he would even say such a thing.  “Of course not!” instantly fell from her lips, convincing him of her sincerity.

“Then what difference does it make?  Why have all this testing done if we’re keeping the baby regardless of what the results are?”

Then his strong, fiercely independent girlfriend had looked at him with uncertainty in her big blue eyes, and softly said, “Richie, I’ve never done this before.  The only thing I know for sure is that, from the minute it’s born, this baby needs me to have my act together and care for it.  If it’s going to be something besides a healthy child then I need a chance to prepare myself for that reality.  I can’t afford the time it will take to have a nervous breakdown and come to terms with it after the birth.”

And he couldn’t fault her in the least.  It was the smart, responsible thing to do.

The churning in his stomach still hadn’t let up, though.  The right thing to do or not, he didn’t want to know if that tiny little miracle wasn’t his miracle.  Oh, he would still want to be the baby’s daddy, even if he wasn’t the father.  It would take some getting used to, but that wasn’t the real issue.  

Allegra was the issue.

Who knew what kind of freaky woman logic she would fabricate, and to what lengths she would travel to save him from himself?  This relationship was doomed to be forever fucked up if the baby wasn’t his. 

“Yo.”  Tico fell into the seat next to his and tugged on the wire coming from Richie’s earphone until it fell free.  He’d watched the guitarist brood for the last hour, giving him the opportunity to work out his bad mood.  Seeing as he was still scowling at the clouds, it was time for an intervention. 

“Yo yo’self,”  Richie grumbled, removing the other earphone as well, wrapping the cord around his hand.

“What’s wrong with you man?”

Discussing the paternity test was pointless, so Richie went with the other thing that had him unfit for socializing.  He also suspected it was the real reason Jon had headed the other direction.

“Allegra and I had a fight before I left and I can’t seem to let it go.”

The older man crossed his legs and settled in to lend a friendly ear, completely unfazed to hear Allegra’s name as the source of Richie’s discontent.  This one woman had rattled his friend more times in the last few months than all the women before her combined, and he’d be glad when they got themselves straightened out.  Even with all the crazy shit that had gone on, his brother needed this woman.  She was the antithesis of the Hollywood starlets and socialites that had been filling Richie’s life for too many years.

On the flip side of that, Tico had quickly developed a soft spot for the former Sister and knew Richie would take excellent care of her – in spite of herself. 

“What was the fight about?”

“Money.”  Richie tipped his head back against the seat and closed his eyes while Tico played deliberately obtuse.

“She needs money?”

The other man snorted.  “Not according to her.  I swear to God she’d live off nuts and berries in the fucking woods to keep from taking my money.”

“Sounds like you need to talk and I’ve got nothing but time to kill.  Tell me what happened.”

Allegra had her arms looped around his neck telling him how much she would miss him, when a lightning bolt struck him.  Drawing back, he said, “Baby, did you write down your checking account information like I asked you to?”

A frown took her face from wistful to cantankerous.  “I did, but I still don’t understand why you need it.”

Richie sighed and prayed for patience.  She knew why, she just didn’t agree with it.  “There are things you’re going to need during the month that I’m in Europe, so I’m depositing some money in your account.  You’re also going to need tuition when you find the classes you’re looking for.”

She’d crossed her arms and glared at him.  “I’ve told you that I don’t want to be a kept woman.  What part of that don’t you get?”

“I love you and the baby you’re carrying,” he explained with exaggerated care, feeling like he’d been through this spiel over and over again.  She was deliberately being difficult. “And I’m gonna see to it that you’re both taken care of.  What part of that don’t you get?”

“I still have money of my own.  We’ll be fine.  As far as the classes go, I talked to Jon and he’s going to loan me the tuition money.”

That, along with her stubborn chin pointing up in the air, had set the vein in his temple to throbbing.  “Jon is paying for your tuition?  Jon is paying for your tuition,” he repeated in disbelief. “Tremendous.”

“Jon is loaning me the money for my tuition.  Big difference.”  She positioned her hands in front of her, a shoulder’s width apart, in case he needed a visual.  Helpful as it was, all it did was make him growl with irritation.

“Allegra, why are you refusing to let this be a real relationship?  You keep fighting me on this, and no matter how many times I beat my head against the fuckin’ wall, I can’t figure it out.”

Her lips pursed at him, and despite her inexperience with the subject matter, he knew he was the one who was about to feel relationship illiterate. 

“It is a real relationship.  A dating relationship.  Why do you insist on trying to take care of me as though I were your wife instead of your girlfriend?  I may be new at this, but I’m pretty sure that you’re jumping several steps ahead of where we are.  It’s not your job to provide my financial security just because you can.”

A long-suffering sigh rattled from his lungs.

“Don’t do that,” she snapped, eyes blazing with annoyance.  “I’m not wrong just because it contradicts what you want to do.”

“Fine.”  He held his hands up in surrender, mouth drawn tight.  “You’re right.  I’m being completely unreasonable and overbearing, but my baby and girlfriend aren’t going to live penniless if I can help it.  I’m putting money in the damn account.  Use it or don’t use it, but let me fuckin’ sleep at night knowing it’s there if you need it.”

That was Richie’s bon voyage this morning.  The last thing he said to the woman he loved before a month long separation.  She made him absolutely nuts sometimes, and he hated it.

“She’s right.” 

Richie’s head snapped up and he nailed Tico with a nasty ‘go to hell’ look, showing remarkable restraint in keeping the actual words bottled inside. 

“But,” the drummer conceded with hands held up in self-defense, “I would do exactly what you did in the same situation.”  Scratching his head, he tried to decide what really bothered Richie about the whole thing.  “Let me ask you a question.  Are you pissed over the money, or the fact that she isn’t afraid to argue with you?  ‘Cause honestly, man, I can’t remember hearing you ever fight with Heather.”

“Heather and I didn’t actually fight, I guess.”  Richie visibly tried to relax himself, rolling his shoulders and sinking back against the seat.  “Most of the time I didn’t know she was mad about anything until the credit card bill showed up.  She had a tendency to spend money when she was pissed.”

Which only cemented Tico’s point.  Heather bottled up all that emotion until it ate away at her and their marriage, prompting her to file for divorce.   Getting it out there in the open was much healthier for everyone involved. 

“You know, the same thing happened all the time with my second wife, Eva.  She’d get pissed over something little and expect me to magically know what I’d done wrong.  Inevitably, when I was too thick to see the error of my ways, she would make me pay – either by spending a ridiculous amount of money or by shutting me out of the bedroom.  It was annoying as hell.”

He shook his head at the memory.  Eva had been a model and cut from the same mold as Richie’s ex – it was all about appearances.  There wouldn’t be anything as tacky as a shouting match, because it would ruin the illusion of the perfect marriage.    

“Now Alejandra,” Tico went on.  “She’s different.  She’s a passionate woman that’s been known to scream like a banshee when she’s pissed at me, but I never have to wonder what the hell I’ve done wrong – she’s more than willing to tell me.  Then I apologize or explain myself and we have amazing make-up sex.” 

He clapped Richie on the shoulder with a deep chuckle.  “My friend, there’s a lot to be said for a woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind.”

“Amen to that, Brother Teek,” Jon proclaimed with a hallelujah chorus, taking the third of the four seat grouping.

His commentary earned him no more than a scornful glare from his guitarist.

“Teek, can you give us a minute?”  Jon requested, but the Cubano was already on his feet.

“Yeah, I got it.  But Rich…”  He pointed a thick finger toward Richie.  “Think about what I said.  It’s better to get pissed and move on than to have it hover below the surface like a ticking time bomb.”

Richie’s dark head dipped in acknowledgement before returning to gaze out over a slice of Atlantic Ocean so large, it didn’t seem like the plane was even moving.

“You gonna tell me what’s up your ass, or do I get to guess?”  Jon wondered how many of these types of conversations loomed on his horizon.  He hated this juggling act of being put in between his best friend and cousin, yet he’d allowed Allegra to do it anyway. 

“You know damn well what it is, or at least you should,” was the surly response.

Jon sighed.  Yet another bullet that he was unsuccessful in dodging.  “Listen, man, you and I should set some ground rules when it comes to Allegra.”

“That sounds like a hell of a plan.  Let’s start with you not undermining what I’m trying to do here.”

“I’m not undermining anything,” Jon objected, meeting Richie’s eyes without guilt.  “She told Dot she was going to try and get a student loan, which is ridiculous.”

“At least we agree on that.”

Jon ignored the sarcasm, and the chime of an incoming text message from Richie’s phone. 

“So I had a contract drawn up for her tuition money.  In return, she’ll either do pro bono work on behalf of the Foundation or Bon Jovi Management for a specified period of time.  Alternatively, after she graduates she can repay the loan on a monthly basis with no interest.   We have a formal, legal agreement with all the terms spelled out because that’s what she wanted.” 

“I would’ve just given her the money, and you know it.  She’s mine to take care of Jon.”  Richie wasn’t softening any, his back still stiff with attitude.

“Bro, Allegra was mine for a hell of a long time before she was yours, and she’ll always be mine because we’re family.  That doesn’t go away.” 

Before Richie could comment, Jon pushed forward with a little of his own attitude.  “While you were busy having your feelings hurt like a little girl, did you stop to think that she lets you take care of her in all the ways that really matter?  Who did she let brush her hair when she was hurt?  Who was the first person she wanted when she found out she was adopted?  Whose hand did she reach for when her mother treated her like a red-headed stepchild?” 

With every word, his conviction grew and Jon knew just how right his assessment was.  He snorted at Richie with disgust.  “Get your head outta your ass, Sambora.  She’s holding onto her financial independence because it’s just money.  She can get that from a million different places.  What you give her can’t come from anybody but you.”  

The anger drained from the guitarist before Jon’s very eyes, to be replaced with a bone-tired weariness and humility. 

“I never thought of it that way.”

“Yeah, well to be fair, neither did I until it came outta my mouth.  The bottom line here is that nine times outta ten, I’m gonna do whatever she asks me to do because she’s my cousin.  Remember that and know it’s not disrespecting you or your place in her life.  If you two ever get married, then I may have to re-evaluate my stance, but that’s the way it is for now.  Capisce?”  Jon leaned forward and held his fist up.

With no more than a second’s hesitation, Richie’s matching fist bumped it lightly.  “Capisce.  I’m sorry, bro.  She gets me so damn tied up in knots sometimes that I can’t think straight.”  Slumping back into his seat, he sighed.  “Shit.  I’m gonna be without her for a month and the last thing we did was bicker over something stupid.”

“Call her,” Jon ordered, gesturing for him to bring out his phone.  “Don’t let it hang out there too long, or Dot will have her plotting revenge on your ass.”

The first genuine smile of the trip crossed Richie’s face and he dug in his pants pocket.  “God knows I don’t want that.  I’ve steered clear of your woman’s wrath since 1992, and I’d like to keep it that way.” 

As Richie flicked the screen to life, Jon rose to give him some privacy, but seeing his friend’s features soften he couldn’t help but ask, “What?”

Richie flipped the phone around so that Jon could see the text message Allegra had sent while they were talking.

I don’t want your trip to start this way.  I’m sorry we argued.  I love you.