Chapter 110

With a muttered curse, he stormed into the studio, slamming the door behind him, to find four concerned faces intently studying his every move.

“What?  Do you all already know?” he demanded of Jon, Dorothea, Tico and David.

“Lemma told us,” Jon confirmed softly.

Of course he did.  Why wouldn’t he know first?  He knew where she was hiding at first – or all along.

Whirling on the keyboardist, Richie stabbed his finger into David’s chest.  “Dammit, you’d better tell me you didn’t know where she was all this time!” he growled, backing him into the wall.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” David protested, hands held up in self-defense.  “I just found out where she was last night and went after her first thing this morning.  That’s when she told me!”

That didn’t improve Richie’s mood any, and he didn’t back down.  It wasn’t David’s place to be rescuing HIS woman.

“Why didn’t you tell ME, so I could go get her?  You just had to play the fuckin’ superhero, didn’t you?”

David put his palm flat against Richie’s chest and stiffened his arm, to hold him at bay.

“Jesus, man, what difference does it make?  Did you SEE her?  She hasn’t slept in days.  Every time she closes her eyes, a damn panic attack wakes her up!  Just be glad she’s home with us again.”

“Home with US?” Richie scorned.  “What the hell is with the two of you, anyway?  You’re always up in her face.  Is that the only thing you’re up in?”

“I’m going to see how Allegra’s doing while these two are busy having a pissing contest,” Dorothea informed her husband.  “I’ve seen enough of those to last me a lifetime.”  With a wave of her hand, she vanished out the door.

“We’re friends, dumbass!”  David’s arm bent and he shoved with the palm against Richie’s chest, causing Richie to stumble.  “I love her like a SISTER and a best friend!  Don’t talk about her like she’s some cheap whore or I will lay your ass out on the ground right now.”

Things were beginning to get a little too physical for the liking of the other men in the room.  Both moved to stand between the feuding brothers, Tico butting his chest against David’s, while Jon held onto Richie’s arms.

“What the hell are you morons doing?” Jon barked.  “We got a tip on where to find that slimy little Felix and Allegra came home – even though I didn’t know she was technically missing.  This is a GOOD day.  Don’t screw it up!”

“Tell the guitar goon, not me,” David snapped, glaring at the other man.  “He doesn’t know when to be fuckin’ grateful.”

“Oh is that what I’m supposed to be?  Grateful that things are a screwed up mess and that I’m the last to find out she’s pregnant?  Do you know who the father is too, oh great guru?”

“Rich, that’s enough,” Tico warned in a deep growl.  “You’re pissed and saying things you’re gonna regret.  Stop and think about what you’re doing, man.”

Jon was quick to back Tico up with a low, “Listen to him, Mook.  Take a deep breath and calm the fuck down.”

Richie set his jaw in an effort to keep his mouth closed, still shooting daggers at David, who was defending himself to Tico in hushed tones.

“Richie.”  Jon gave him a shake, forcing him to look into his friend’s face.  “This isn’t helping a damn thing.  Back down, man.”

He didn’t want to back down.  He wanted to beat the hell out of David – or anybody, really – until he felt better.  Until the hurt and betrayal went away and things were back the way they belonged.  It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.  The ring in his pocket should be on her finger, and there should be no doubt that the baby in her belly was his. 

Son of a bitch!

Richie retreated and put a leash on his hostility.   Rationally, he knew it wasn’t David he was angry with, but the situation – and Allegra.  “Okay, okay.  Let me go,” he mumbled to Jon.

“You gonna play nice?”

“Yeah.”  As soon as his arms were free he slunk over to drop into a chair, knees spread wide and fists dangling between them.  “I’m sorry, Lemma.”

After puffing out a frustrated blast of air, David nodded once sharply.  “I’m sorry too – about the whole friggin’ mess – but we’re on the same side, man.”

“I know, I know.”

“What are you gonna do?”  Jon was the only one who had nerve enough to ask the question on everyone’s mind.  Of course, he was also the only one who knew Richie had been ready to propose.

What was there to do?   His head still wasn’t screwed on straight enough to make a rational decision about anything.

“I can’t think about it now.  Let’s get the damn song done,” Richie eventually said, standing to snag his favorite guitar from its perch atop the piano.  “But how about doing No Apologies instead of This is Love?  I may as well get something useful out of all this aggression.”

“Yeah, that’s fine man,” Jon agreed.  “You guys get started without me.  I need to see her for myself before I’m gonna be able to concentrate.”

♫♪♥♪♫

“Welcome back,” was Dorothea’s greeting upon entering the pub.  She’d immediately spotted Allegra on the leather sofa in the middle of the room, looking sad and distant.

“Thanks.”  Allegra gave an absent smile.  “Is it okay for me to be here?”

“Of course it is!  You’re family and family is always welcome in our home.”  Dot took the adjoining seat on the couch, pushing the curtain of hair away from her face as she sat.

 “So I guess David told you.”

“Yes.”

Hearing the news from David was completely different from seeing the evidence of its effect on Allegra.  Whatever hell she’d been living in since she found out had definitely taken its toll, and Dot half-expected her to collapse into an exhausted sleep before her very eyes.

“Richie didn’t take the news very well.”

Dot arched her eyebrow, but managed to curb her sarcasm when she commented, “I got that impression when he came storming in a few minutes ago.”

“What did he say?” Allegra asked tiredly.   “He seemed furious with me, like he didn’t understand at all.”

“He’s angry,” Dot cautiously confirmed.  Hell, they all were.  It was time for Allegra to grow up.  “He’s angry and hurt, just like we all are.  You didn’t trust a single one of us, Allegra.  How do you think that makes us feel?  We’ve gone out of our way to take you into the fold of this glorified family, giving you our unconditional love and support with everything you’ve been through.  THIS is how you repay it?  Treating us like strangers, when you need someone the most?”

“I…  I didn’t…”  She didn’t mean to do it, but it’s exactly what she HAD done.  The tears she’d thought were absent, came trickling to the surface. “I love you all so much and didn’t want to burden you because of a decision I made.  I thought I was making it easier on everyone by dealing with my problem alone.”

Sighing, Dot pulled her into a close hug, and rubbed her back.  “Honey, the minute you stepped on the Jovi Jet, ‘your’ problems became community property.  It’s how they are.  It’s how WE are.   Stop with the Joan of Arc act and let the people who love you into your life.”  She drew back and gave her a stern look.  “Because I’m telling you, if you don’t…  You’ll find yourself alone for real.”

“I don’t want to be alone,” she lamented forlornly.  “But I also don’t want to be an albatross around anyone’s neck.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?  Don’t I get a hug?”  Jon hailed from the doorway pierced the cloud of gloom that was beginning to overtake the room.

The women separated and turned toward his voice with two very different expressions.  Dorothea’s scowl warned him not to make an ass of himself, while Allegra’s shifting gaze teemed with apprehension.

He took one look at the tears on her cheeks and said nothing else, merely held his arms wide in invitation.  Reassured, she rose and entered the circle of his embrace, collapsing against him and allowing herself to be rocked in comfort. 

“It’s gonna be okay, babydoll.  Get through today, and tomorrow will be better, I swear.” 

“Why are you being nice?  Shouldn’t you be yelling at me, too?” she mumbled into his shirt.

Yeah, he was irritated beyond all reason.  They were family and she hadn’t trusted him – any of them.  God only knew what Richie had said to her already.  Based on the bitch fit he’d thrown at the studio, it couldn’t have been good.  But from the looks of her, she’d punished herself enough for all of them. 

“I think you’ve been through enough without me adding to it.”  His face was buried in her hair, and he missed the look of approval he’d just earned from his wife. 

“Jon, what’s he going to do?”

Releasing her with a squeeze of the hand, he sighed and shook his head regretfully.   He hated to bring her down any further than she already was, but the truth of the matter was that he’d never seen Rich quite like that before.  “I don’t know.  He’s mad as hell right now, but lucky for you Dave’s catching the brunt of it.”

She groaned, covering her eyes.  “Oh, God.”

“Don’t worry about ‘em, they’re fine.  Rich is just blowing off steam.”

“And when he’s finished blowing off steam?”

“Then he’ll be ready to talk again,” he said with an encouraging smile.  At least he hoped so.  “In the meantime you need to get some rest.”

“Yes, you do,” Dot reinforced over Allegra’s protests.  “Come up to the house and stake out one of the guest rooms.  I’ll make sure the kids stay downstairs and leave you alone.”

She continued to shake her head.  “I can’t.  I need to go back and get my stuff.  Everything I own is still at the cloister.  I don’t even have a toothbrush.”

“Why didn’t you bring any of it with you?”  Jon asked.  “And what about your car?”

“It’s still there too.  We…  left in kind of a hurry.  David wouldn’t let me go back and get my things.”

“Why the hell not?” 

She sighed and went back to her couch cushion.  “I think Felix knows I’ve been staying at the cloister.  Someone found my cross in the sanctuary.  The one that he took from me during the rape.”

“Oh honey, I bet you were absolutely terrified when you found out.  It’s good that David got you out of there when he did then,” Dorothea told her.  “Although Jon does have a little bit of good news on that front.”

Allegra looked at him warily.  “You do?”

“I do,” he confirmed with a grin, widening his stance and pushing his hands into his back pockets.  Maybe he could bring at least one smile to her face today.  “We think we know where he is.   Hopefully by the end of the day this will all be over with, darlin’.  You can go back to living your life again.”

“Really?”  Her eyes radiated hope.  “Oh my God, it would be so nice to have one less thing to worry about.”

“No shit,” he agreed emphatically, coming to kiss her cheek.   He’d done all he could for the time being.  “I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything, but right now I’ve got to go to work.  Get some rest, would ya?”

“As soon as I get some clothes and a toothbrush, I’ll try.”

“You’ll borrow my clothes and I’m sure we have extra of whatever you need around here somewhere.  We’ll get your stuff tomorrow,” Dorothea declared after Jon had dropped a parting kiss on her lips.  “Just go lie down.  I’ll wake you in time for dinner this evening.”

Jon lifted his eyebrows and gestured toward Dot with his thumb, nodding.  “Listen to her.  There’s no other choice, believe me.”

♪♥♪

She tried to sleep, but it was useless.  Choosing another bedroom may have helped, Allegra thought, shifting restlessly on the California king.  There were so many memories in this brown bedroom that they’d shared:  her second ‘first’ time, Richie brushing her hair and helping her dress, the early morning phone calls while he was on the road.

Even managing to move past those thoughts, the scene in the pub replayed itself in slow motion every time she closed her eyes. 

Well, not so much the scene as Richie.  Just being able to see him again…

His hair was rumpled, like he’d been running his hands through it, and he hadn’t shaved.  He’d looked tired, but she thought she’d seen a spark of… something when their eyes had met.  Hadn’t she? 

She’d waited for a smile, but it hadn’t materialized.  Would there be a day when he could look at her with that carefree smile that lit up his face, and she would hear the little accompanying giggle?  Would he ever have that look of love in his eyes for her again?  The soft, tender touch and smile that was reserved for her alone?

Whatever the answer, it was beyond her control.

God, I’m still trying to see the reasoning here.  Haven’t I been punished enough yet?  I know I’m obstinate and pigheaded.  I get it, and I’m working on it, but isn’t there an end to what one person should have to suffer through?  Betrayal, rape, family secrets, pregnancy, relationship turmoil…  Stuff like this doesn’t happen in real life.  Script writers have to make this up for daytime drama.  It’s a wonder I’m not a complete and total basket case.  Maybe that’s Your contribution?  I’m sane enough to completely appreciate the disaster that is my life?  If so, that’s fine, but could You possibly see fit to take care of Richie’s sanity too?  Whatever he needs to do, I’ll do my best to accept with good grace as long as he has peace.  That’s not too much to ask is it?