Chapter 118

Back in Allegra's world now, and happy to be there.  Starting grad school tonight, but will still try and post a couple times a week. :o)

“You’ve GOT to be kidding me,” was the only response he could offer. 

“Nope.  True story.”  Allegra went on to tell him about the conversation she’d had with the Bishop in his office, all the way up to and including the discovery of her cross.

“So you don’t want anything to do with him, then?”

They’d entered the quiet area of town where the cloister was located, but not knowing exactly where to go, he’d pulled the car to a stop by the local park, waiting for her to finish. 

“I don’t see why I would.  Fundamentally, I think he’s still a jerk.  KNOWING that I was his daughter, he ran me off, Richie.  What kind of man compromises his morals to keep a secret?”

“That kind that’s not only a lousy father, but a lousy Bishop as well,” he observed, stroking her shoulder in comfort.  “I’m sorry, baby.”

Surprise filled her face.  Sorry?  Whatever for?

“Don’t be sorry for me.  I have a wonderful father who loves me, and treated me like a princess my whole life.  Just because I know who fertilized the egg, doesn’t mean that anything is going to change, or that I wanted it to.”

“So you’re not going to tell your parents, then?”

“What’s the point?  It will only cause more of a ruckus.  And the more I think about it, I don’t see that Jon or anyone else needs to be told either.  Sharing it with you is enough.”

And it was.  She wasn’t carrying the knowledge all alone anymore, and there was no one she trusted with her ‘skeleton’ more than Richie. 

“I don’t disagree about the ruckus.  We both know your mom is a little high strung, and I think the baby news is going to be challenging enough without dumping this on top.  But, ultimately, this decision is yours and I’ll support you.”

This was what he’d meant.  The give and take.  Working through it together.  This one was her decision, but she felt so much more secure in that decision after talking it over with him and knowing he would stand by her. 

His cheek was smooth under her palm when she cupped it, smiling fondly.  “Thank you.  This is what I want.”

Turning into her palm, he grazed it with a kiss before returning her smile.  “All right then.  Let’s go get your stuff.  Then we can go start spreading the good news among the grandparents-to-be.”

There was still so much left to do.  Gather her things, pack them in the car, unpack them back at Jon’s house, coordinate their plans for the tour break, develop some type of career idea, figure out – again – where she would live.  Traipsing around the state of New Jersey to drop at least two pregnancy bombs was more than she wanted to think about.

“Um.”  She threaded her fingers through his, clasping their palms together.  “How do you feel about putting that off for a while?”

He didn’t say anything at first.  He actually didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity.  When he finally did, it was to state softly, “I don’t want to keep this a secret from our families.  The baby has endured a lot negativity so far.  Now she deserves to be surrounded with all the love we can offer her.”

If she didn’t have firm proof to the contrary, she would swear he was gay.  Straight men weren’t supposed to be this sensitive, but she counted herself blessed that he was.

“Sweetie, that’s not it,” she protested with a little laugh, mentally noting the ‘she and ‘her’ that dropped from his lips without effort.  “I’m just tired, and there’s so much to do - so much that’s up in the air with my life.  I don’t necessarily want to keep it a secret, but the thought of going through two or three more announcements – and the inevitable domino effect that’s going to follow – absolutely wears me out.  It’s too overwhelming.”

“Sit tight for a second,” he ordered, flipping the door latch and sliding from the vehicle.  With half a dozen long strides, he’d circled the hood and extended a hand to help her from the car.  “C’mon.”

Allegra took the offered hand without qualms, but gave him a quizzical look.  “Where are we going?”

He waited until she was safely outside the vehicle before sealing it back up with a firm thrust to the door.  “You’ll see.”

It turned out that their destination was less than a hundred yards away – a wooden bench whose weathered appearance was enhanced only by the rose bushes flanking it.  It was too early for them to be in full bloom yet, but little buds had peppered themselves all throughout the green leaves.

“Sit.”

“I’m not a dog,” she informed him dryly, even as she heeded his command, perching gingerly on the well-worn slats.

His instant grin dazzled her, the merriment reaching all the way into the depths of his gorgeous eyes.  “A fox maybe, but not a dog,” he agreed, snapping one of the buds from its stem and presenting it to her.  “You’re going to take a minute to stop and smell the roses.  Literally.”

What in the world?

Richie sank onto the bench, contentedly crossing his legs and placing an open palm on her back.  “Sniff,” he encouraged, with an upward stroke along her spine.

Still a little concerned for his mental well-being, she obediently sniffed, one eyebrow arching at him in skepticism.

“Now.”  He continued to rub her back in long, soothing strokes.  “We’re not doing overwhelmed.  It’s not good for you or the baby, and there’s no reason for it.  We’re gonna sit here and relax in the beautiful afternoon sunshine until everything is worked out and you feel like you’re in control again.   So talk to me.”

Gay Richie to the rescue. 

Allegra didn’t know what to say.  She was both stunned and touched that he would stop in his tracks to address some weird neurosis that had assailed her.  Not to mention embarrassed.    All she’d wanted was to go back to the guest house and sleep for a while instead of visiting her parents.

“Richie, it’s nothing,” she fumbled.  “I was just having a moment.  Hormones are probably making me feel a little crazy.”

Reproachful eyes surveyed her before he elected to pursue a different approach.  “Okay, let’s start with what you’ve already said.  Your life is up in the air.  Knowing your stubbornness about being a kept woman, I assume you’re talking about work, which is silly.  Jon will give your job back.  No worries there.”

“No.”  She was already shaking her head.  “I refuse to even mention it, and would appreciate if you didn’t either.  There’s no way I would be inconsiderate enough to ask for my job back when I was the one who walked away from it.”

“The circumstances were a little extenuating.”  He looped his arm around her shoulders, hauling her closer.  “I don’t think it would be a hard sell.”

“No,” she repeated firmly.  “I have to live with the consequences of my actions.  That’s life, unlike this fairy-tale world you guys keep trying to create for me.”

His blown out breath ruffled a few strands of her hair.  “Occasionally I wish you’d let me spoil you.  Just a little bit?”  Listening to his own words, he laughed.  “Spoil you with a job.  Yeah, I’m a real Prince Charming.”

“You’re more than Prince Charming,” she corrected, kissing his chin.  “You’re the King of Swing – or so I hear.”

He groaned, wrapping her up in a mock-punishing hug.  “I haven’t lived up to that name in years, and you’re changing the subject.  If you won’t go back to the Foundation, tell me whatcha wanna do.  Just think of the world as your burrito, baby – how ya gonna dress it?”

“My burrito?”  Her left eyebrow lifted almost to her hairline.  “You’re strange sometimes.  You know that, right?”

“Yeah.  Lemma takes great pleasure in mentioning it – frequently.”  Giving her a little shake, he ordered gruffly, ”Now stop stalling.  If you could do anything, what would it be?”

Well aware that her future was going to take a different path than her past, she’d actually thought about this quite a bit while she’d been away.  Allegra had been drawn toward the Foundation because it was a work she was comfortable and familiar with – helping others in whatever way she could.  It had been a natural choice, and one that gave her the sense of accomplishment she craved.

But…

Something else had given her the thrill of a challenge AND a feeling of accomplishment – something that she thought about a lot.

“I want to go to school.”

He was justifiably surprised.  “School?  For what?”

“Well, maybe not school,” she amended.  “But I want to take computer classes, or have someone teach me more about them.  I think I’m a little bit addicted to the potential behind all those buttons on the keyboard.  Does that sound ridiculous?”

“Absolutely not!  I think it’s awesome that you want to dive into something like that, considering your limited exposure to all things tech.”

She shrugged.  “David seemed to think I’d be okay at it, and I love the feeling of power when the computer does what I want it to.”

“Computer classes it is then.  We’ll see what we can work out – soon.”  Richie dropped a kiss on her forehead.  “Now... tell me why publicizing the pregnancy to our families is freaking you out.”

“Sweetie, I truly am just tired.  In a day or so I’ll have rested up and feel more up to the ‘event’ that sharing our news is sure to be.  Your mom may be a joy to tell, but I have a funny notion that my parents aren’t going to be quite so much fun.  Too bad we can’t just do it all at once, so your mom can balance out my mom.”

He grinned into the top of her head.  “Who says we can’t?”

“What are you saying?”

“You’re exhausted – that’s a given.  We get your stuff, go home and stay in for the evening.  While you catch up on your sleep, I’ll call and arrange for our families to get together for dinner tomorrow night.  We can invite Matt, Desiree and Tony too, if you want.  That way everybody finds out in one fell swoop and it’s done.  I’ll referee your mother, if necessary, and you just sit and let Ma coddle you.”

“You’ve lost your mind, haven’t you?  Do you not remember the last family dinner?”

“I remember how much we laughed about it afterward.”  Richie tipped her chip up to look at him.  “One evening sweetheart.  Get through one evening and after that…  it’s all the good stuff.”

Her eyes fell even while her chin was still held immobile.  There were assumptions that were made of a couple sharing this kind of news – assumptions that wedding bells would come before baby booties.   They hadn’t even uttered that word yet, but her mother was more likely to scream it, so it couldn’t be put off any longer.

“Once they hear about the baby, my parents are going to expect to hear more news,” she broached carefully, looking back into his eyes.

Richie sighed.  “You mean marriage.”  There was no question, only a statement.

“Yes.”

“We should probably talk about that.”

It didn’t vaguely resemble a passionate heartfelt proposal,  and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why.   There was no walk down the aisle in their immediate future.  Irrational or not,  Allegra would be lying if she said it didn’t hurt just a little bit. 

Richie saw the pain flash across her face and it stabbed at him.  He hated doing this, but she needed to know where his head was.  Once he explained, he was sure she would understand.  That was, if he could get her to listen that long.

“I love you and want to be with you.  Period.  Marriage may be a logical step from there, but I don’t think it’s our NEXT step. “ 

Her eyes had iced over, not in anger, but self-preservation.  She was steeling herself, waiting for the axe to fall.  But there WAS no axe, dammit.

“Don’t look at me like that just because I have enough respect for you – us – to make sure this is forever before cramming a ring on your finger.  Because next time I make that kind of commitment, it WILL be forever.”

“Whether it’s with me or not.”

Dammit, she still wanted to be hurt, but there was no reason to be.  He just needed a little time.  Biting his tongue, he managed to refrain from confessing that he had a ring in his pocket.

“I WANT it to be with you – more than anything.  But you’ve never been in any kind of relationship before, and I’ve been hurt more times than I wanna think about.  You said yourself that we’d only known each other a few weeks.”  Softening his voice, he brought his face close to hers.  “Let’s just take some time and set the foundation of ‘us’ before we try building anything else on top of it.  Okay?”

The skin over her cheek was buttery soft against his palm, and the delicate area under her eye still stayed smudged even after the tender swipe of his thumb.  He touched her mouth with a gentle kiss, tongue swiping along her bottom lip on a hushed breath. 

Allegra wanted to be angry, or at least upset, but in her heart she knew he was right.  Rushing into something wasn’t going to make it better – just rushed.  As much as it grated against her moral upbringing, the most important thing was that the baby had a father – not that she had a husband.

“Tell me you love me,” he whispered, gently tugging at her ponytail.

His face was blurry in its closeness, but she could see the emotion radiating from warm mocha irises, and knew he wasn’t just stringing her along.  He really did want things to be right for them, so she chose to think of this as protectiveness and allowed it to ease her disappointment.

I was really liking that sensitive side though…

“I love you,” she complied.  “But YOU get to fend off my mother when she starts.”

He grinned against her lips.  “I can handle your mother.”

Allegra kissed him and snorted.  “Family dinner.  I still say you’ve lost your mind.”