One Hundred Nine

“Hot damn,” Jon exclaimed, prompting Dorothea to stick her head into the kitchen. 

“Did you just buy a football team?”

He turned his megawatt grin on her.  “Better than that baby.  I just got an anonymous call dropping the dime on Allegra’s rapist.  Gave me the hotel he’s staying at in Philly.  Now all I’ve gotta do is a make a couple of phone calls and this whole nightmare is over with.”

“Aren’t you going to try and find out who the informant was?”

He scoffed.  “If it gets that son of a bitch off the streets, what do I care?”  His finger was already moving across the small screen.  “I’ll tell Richie as soon as I finish these calls.”  Jon dropped a loud, smacking kiss on his wife’s lips as he listened to the phone ring.  “It’s gonna be a good day, Dottie.”

♪♫♪

She’d been relatively quiet the last little bit, prompting David to peek over to her side of the car.  Her deep breathing indicated that she’d succumbed to sleep, and he hoped she was able to rest for remaining half-hour of their trip.

Things hadn’t turned out the way he planned, but then again, he hadn’t had much of a plan other than finding her.  He was damn glad he’d listened to his instincts after hearing about her cross this morning.  This poor girl didn’t need one more upsetting event in her life.  Allegra had weathered a dramatic year so far, and he was hoping she could enjoy some peace once she and Richie worked things out.

A soft cry cut its way through the music filtering through the stereo, and he glanced over again.  Her face was contorted in what appeared to be pain, head writhing against the seat.   Inhaling great gulps of air, she clutched at the door handle when her eyes flew open with a loud gasp.

“Legs, baby, what’s wrong?”  David’s eyes darted from the road to her and back again as he reached for her hand.

Obviously attempting to regain her bearings, she looked wildly around the car before seeing and focusing on him.   “David.”

“I’m right here, darlin’.  What’s the matter?” 

All of the color had left her face, and there was a slight sheen of perspiration beaded across her upper lip.  Her trembling fingers clutched at his hand with a power he didn’t know she possessed as she held her breath in an effort to regain control.

With a self-conscious smile, she forcibly eased her grip on him and relaxed into the seat.  “Sorry.”

“Panic attack?”

“Mm.”

Well, hell.  No wonder she’s not gotten any sleep. 

“We’re almost home,” he told her with a reassuring squeeze.  “This will all be behind you in just a little while, and you can rest.”

She didn’t agree, but she didn’t disagree either, merely looking out the window at the glimpses of Jersey coastline that were visible through the houses and trees.

“David?”

“Yeah?”

“I know I have to talk to Richie, but can you tell Jon and Dot?  And Tico?  Not about Felix, but about the baby.  I just don’t think I can go through it twice today, and if I’m going to be there, they should know.”

He’d do anything he could to take that look from her face.  “Sure, sweetheart, if you want me to.”

She nodded and closed her eyes.  Several minutes passed, and he thought she’d fallen into a light sleep again when her quiet words floated through the vehicle to him. 

“Thank you.  For everything.”

♪♫♥♪♫

Richie walked slowly toward the Shoe Inn, reluctantly contemplating what lay in store for him there.  David had come into the studio a few minutes ago, pulling him into the booth, away from Tico and Jon.

“Allegra’s waiting for you in the pub,” he said under his breath.  “Go.”

His heart beat a little faster. 

She came back.

Regardless of how much that thought relieved him, he chose to remain casually aloof.  She’d put him off for almost a week, and now she could just damn well wait until HE was ready to see HER.  He wasn’t going to jump because she’d deigned to make an appearance, and said as much to David.

“I’m not going running because she snaps her fingers.  We’ve got work to do.” 

In reality, he didn’t give a tinker’s damn about work anymore – probably couldn’t even concentrate on it, knowing that the answers to his questions lie so close by.  But then again, the more he thought about it, did he really want to know the answers?

“You NEED to talk to her man,” David persisted, his body language relaying a sense of urgency and importance.  What the hell had suddenly become so urgent?

“Why?  What do you know?” he asked suspiciously, trying to decipher whatever was brewing under that Goldilocks mop of curls.

Whatever it was, he wasn’t spilling.  “I’m not telling you jack.  Just go, dammit!”

Now the curiosity had doubled.  He may as well go and talk to her, because his mind was already there, and it was useless denying it.  And no matter what she had to say, he wouldn’t be left in this shitty state of limbo any longer. 

One way or the other, Richie thought, hand automatically going to the pocket that held the engagement ring. 

He hadn’t been back to California for the opportunity to store it, so he’d been carrying it with him for safekeeping.  Sure, Jon would’ve let him keep it here, but there was a piece of him that drew comfort from its presence – its promise.

Now it was time to see if the promise would be fulfilled.

“Fine.  Tell Jon I’ll be back in a few.”  With that, he’d slipped out the back door.  Trekking the short distance to the pub, he walked what felt like the last mile to his execution.

Dammit Sambora, you’re not a pitiful wretch.  Don’t be sad, be mad.  She left with hardly a word and expects you to come running now?  Well screw that.

Feeling appropriately armed with attitude, he opened the door and stepped inside the glorified game room.  The only light shining in the small building filtered through the wooden blinds at each window, which left heavy shadows lurking around the perimeter of the room.  Even with that, he didn’t have any trouble spotting her.  Upon entering, he found her standing by the front window, blind drawn open, where she’d been watching his approach.

Turning to greet him, she offered a hesitant smile.  “Hi.”

If his heart had beaten faster before, it all but stopped now.  Her spine was straight and she looked him dead in the eye, but that was the extent of the woman he’d left behind in Philadelphia.   Sunken eyes and lines etched around her mouth made her appear older than her thirty-nine years.  It had obviously been no vacation for her either.

That shouldn’t matter, and he wouldn’t let it distract him from his righteous indignation.  In a cool voice, he observed, “I see you came back.”

Her dark ponytail bounced with the dip of her head in agreement.  “I’d almost decided to anyway, but David turned up and pushed the issue.”

“Where have you been?”

Her eyes were busy avidly devouring him, and he’d begun to wonder if she’d heard the question when she finally answered.  “I’ve been staying at my old cloister.”

What the hell had she been doing there?  She burned that bridge when she left months ago. 

“How did he know where to find you?”

If he knew all along where she was, so help me God, I’m going to kick his ass from here to the next tour stop.

“I don’t know.  That’s something you’ll have to ask him.”

He drank in the gentle sway of her hips as she crossed to the bar and climbed on one of the barrel-style stools.  God, how he’d missed her.  Even now, he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless.

“Sit with me?”

For his own sanity, he couldn’t be that close to her yet.  Richie chose instead to go behind the bar and fish a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator, twisting off the top and swallowing deeply.    It was easier to maintain distance while standing, so he stayed where he was, propping himself against the mahogany countertop.

“O-kay,” she sighed at his silent refusal, folding her arms on the smooth, polished wood.  “I deserve that.”

“And I deserve an explanation.”

“Yes, you do,” Allegra agreed softly, eyes filled with remorse.  “And as soon as I can find the right words, you’ll have one.”

“The truth works.”

He wasn’t interested in some elaborate Dear John speech, or fanciful yarn.  He just wanted to know why she’d left without talking to him.  Period.

Little did he know the impact the truth was going to have.

“The truth is that I’m pregnant.”

The words knocked the wind from his lungs and he gripped the padded edge of the bar to keep himself upright.  He waited for her to smile and let him in on the joke as his head spun with a myriad of questions that he couldn’t manage to articulate over the buzzing in his hears. 

She didn’t smile.  There was no joke.

And fortunately, she didn’t need his questions to quietly and concisely provide the first round of answers. 

“I’m almost six weeks, which means it happened in Detroit.  It will be another six weeks before we can get a paternity test to tell whether it’s yours or… not.”

The rape.  Oh God.

“But you had a period after that.”

“That’s what I thought,” she said dully, “But the doctor tells me it wasn’t a period.  It was something called ‘implantation bleeding’.  The fertilized egg was burrowing its way into the lining of my uterus, and that’s where the blood came from.”

The doctor.  She’d been to the doctor and gone through all of this already.  Then she decided to hightail it out of town without breathing a word of it.  He didn’t have to talk himself into being mad anymore.  The anger raged through him like a virus, until he could feel every vein throbbing violently with its effect.

“You’re pregnant and you LEFT without telling me?  When did you think you were going to share that little bit of information?  When you went into labor?”

“Richie, you practically begged me to take that pill after the rape.  I saw the look of relief on your face when we thought I started my period.  You don’t want a child that isn’t yours, and I wasn’t going to force one on you.”

“I was relieved because we didn’t have to make that decision!  Just because I didn’t want to make it, doesn’t mean that I WOULDN’T have.  Have a little fuckin’ faith!”

“I had faith that you would do what was right, no matter how much you didn’t want to!  There was no way I could hold you responsible for a choice I made.”

“So you made a choice for me instead.”

Unable to tolerate the distance between them any longer, she decided it was time to do what she’d come to do.  Climbing from the stool, she joined him on the opposite side of the obstacle separating them.

“Listen to me,” she pleaded, latching onto his hand.  “I realized some things while I was gone, the most important of which is that life can be much shorter than we expect.  The main reason I wanted to come back now was to tell you that I love you, and that I never stopped loving you for a second.  You’re an amazing man and there’s no one else like you in the world.”

Sliding her arms around his waist, she stepped close and squeezed with the all the emotion she’d been harboring during her self-imposed exile.  “I love you, Richie.  More than I ever dreamed it possible to love anyone.  There’s not a moment while I was gone that I didn’t miss you and look forward to being in your arms again.”

Her flowery declaration hung heavily in the air, and he remained statue still in her embrace, eerily silent.  Allegra swore she could hear the seconds of her life ticking away as readily as their relationship was burning to the ground around her. 

Once it became evident that he wasn’t going to sweep her up into a never-ending hug, she allowed her arms to slip awkwardly back to her sides and stepped away from him.

“You can’t just reappear and expect everything to go back the way it was, Allegra.”

“I… I didn’t expect that,” she stammered, taken aback by the steel in his voice, realizing that’s exactly what she DID expect.  After offering the explanation for her disappearance, she thought he would understand her reasoning.  The only thing left would be to talk about the baby.  “I know we still need to talk about the baby.”

“No.” Richie gave his head an adamant shake.  “We have to figure out what’s going to happen with US before we can put a baby in the picture.  One thing at a time.”

“O-okay.  So what IS going to happen with us?”  Even though she’d been the one to make the break, reconciliation had always been on her mental horizon.  She’d arrogantly believed that he would be there waiting for her when she decided the time was right.  Allegra was shaking inside, as the fallout from her actions came crashing down around her.

“I don’t know.  I’m too pissed to be making long term decisions.”  His eyes darted out the window behind her, and her spirit wilted a little more at his avoidance of her gaze.   A shadow flickered across his face, and he made his move to leave. “Right now, I’m going back to the studio.   We’ll talk again… later.  Maybe tomorrow.  If you want to stay in the guest house, you can have the brown bedroom.  I’ve been sleeping in the other one.  Or, I’m sure you’d be welcome to stay up at the main house.”

The click of the door echoing through the pub had a horrible sound of finality to it.  At the time, she would have sworn that leaving him was the hardest thing she’d ever endured. 

She was wrong.  

Having him hurl those cold words, then refuse to look at her…  THAT was the hardest. 

She collapsed to the couch, staring out the same window that he’d been engrossed in moments before.  The tears she expected to flow and ease away the pain were mysteriously absent, being replaced by a bone-chilling emptiness.