Ninety-Nine

Sister Celeste’s mention of breakfast reminded Allegra that she hadn’t been able to eat anything the day before.  Food still didn’t sound all that appealing, but after another near-sleepless night she acknowledged that it wouldn’t do her or the baby any good to become malnourished on top of the exhaustion.

Quickly pulling out underclothes, dark slacks and a white blouse, she picked up her toiletries and went to shower.  Old habits – no pun intended – died hard, and she couldn’t bring herself to wear the jeans and tops that had become her wardrobe staples.  It just wasn’t respectful. 

Stepping back into old routines did remove the pressure of makeup and a lot of time on her hair.  She pulled the still damp tresses back into its familiar ponytail and put a dab of lotion on her face and was ready to go in search of a bite to eat. 

Arriving in the dining hall, she sniffed experimentally, half expecting the smells of bacon and eggs to turn her stomach.  When there was no sign of nausea, she wondered how long her grace period was going to be.  Just to be on the safe side, she chose something simple – oatmeal and orange juice.  

The coffee called to her with its enticing aroma and promise of a little kick in the pants, but she chose to pass it by.  Seeing as it was her first child, the doctor’s office had provided her with several pamphlets on prenatal care, which she looked through the night before when sleep was being elusive.  They all recommended avoiding caffeine, if at all possible, along with a thousand other things.

I’m going to miss my coffee, she thought, ruefully spooning the first bite of oatmeal into her mouth.

“Why hello my dear! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!  I have something that belongs to you.”

The voice directly at her elbow surprised her.   Allegra smiled politely at the petite, elderly nun who had greeted her as though she were an old friend.  She couldn’t place the woman at all.  Maybe she had her confused with someone else.

“I’m sorry, were you speaking to me?”

The little gray-haired nun pulled out the chair and seated herself next to Allegra at the long table.  “Of course I was.  How have you been?”

“Um.”  Allegra bought a bit of time by sipping her juice.  “I’m… fine thank you, how are you?”

The pause and confusion didn’t put a dent in the little woman’s resolve to chat. 

“Oh, I can’t complain.  I keep getting lost, but you know how it is when you get reassigned to a new place.”

“I see.  So you’re new here at Blessed Sacrament then?”  If that were the case, then there was no way she knew her.  This was only place Allegra had ever served.

The question seemed to baffle her new friend, and her dainty features contorted with confusion.  “I think so...  I like to garden.”

Allegra’s heart went out to her when the confusion turned into a glassy blank stare.  There was clearly something not right here, and she ached to turn the light back on behind her dull brown eyes.  Latching onto her last words, she attempted to engage the woman in conversation that didn’t require details.

“Gardening?  Well it’s about time to start tending the garden again.  I’m sure the other sisters will appreciate your help.  Do you like flower gardening or vegetables?”

Just as Allegra had hoped, her eyes sparked to life again, and she answered happily, “Oh flowers!  My favorites are sunflowers, but that won’t be until it gets much warmer.  Petunias are nice too, and impatiens.  We should be picking out the annuals.  They need to be planted soon.”

Bless her heart. 

“Going to the nursery and seeing all the pretty flowers is always fun, but it’s so hard to choose, don’t you think?  By the way, my name is Allegra.  Could I ask yours?” she inquired with an encouraging smile.

“I’m Sister Mary Clementine of course.  Silly girl, it hasn’t been THAT long!”  The chair legs scraped against the wooden floor as she pushed back from the table.  “Now let me just go get that, and I’ll be right back.”

Leaving a surprised Allegra behind, she toddled off with purpose. 

That certainly was abrupt.  I wonder what her story is?   

With a sigh, she cleared away her half-empty bowl and juice glass, hoping that the nun would find her way to wherever she was headed before she forgot why she was going. 

Running her hands over her slacks and blouse to smooth any wrinkles, she checked her watch and guided her footsteps toward the sanctuary.  It had been a while, and it wouldn’t hurt her to join in Mass.

Slipping into one of the back pews, Allegra noted that Bishop Mancuso had deigned to lead this morning’s Mass.  If she’d had any question before, it was now confirmed that God was truly testing her.

Resolutely putting the thought from her mind, she strove to take comfort in the familiar routine of Mass.  The prayers, songs, and readings wrapped around her like a comfortable sweater and the dismay that had consumed her for the last forty-eight hours recessed as she lost herself in the predictable routine.

The Bishop had no more disappeared through the door behind the pulpit than Sister Mary Clementine appeared again at her elbow.  “Good morning!  How are you?”

Although she appeared ‘with it’, Allegra wondered if she had any recollection of their earlier meeting in the dining hall.

“I’m doing well, Sister.  Did you enjoy the Mass?”

“A lovely service indeed.  No better way to start the day than in agreement with Our Lord God Almighty.”

Allegra laughingly agreed, unsure as to whether the little nun wanted something or was just standing there to pass the time.  After a moment’s silence, she inquired, “What does the day have in store for you, Sister Mary Clementine?  Are you going to check out the gardens and see what you’ll need there?”

Again, the mention of flowers lit her face up like a ray of sunshine.  “Why, yes.  Yes, I believe that I will.  Would you care to join me?  It will be just like old times.”

Old times?  She wondered if she would ever find out who the Sister thought she was.

“Maybe a little later,” Allegra declined with a gentle pat to her shoulder.  “I have an appointment with the Reverend Mother Superior right now.”

The light died a little, and Allegra felt a pang of regret at having to refuse the darling woman.

Sister Mary Clementine looked unseeingly around the sanctuary, having mentally dismissed Allegra already.  Whether it was intentional or not, she couldn’t be certain.  “Yes, well, I believe I will investigate the gardens.  Maybe I left it there.  Until we meet again then.”

She bid Sister Mary Clementine a good day and she left the church, passing the small marquee outside the door that listed “The Most Reverend J. Manscuso” as diocese Bishop.

Was it a coincidence that this morning’s gospel reading was on forgiveness?  Was it her own guilty conscience that swore he looked directly at her while reciting the last two verses? 

‘Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.’

Was he asking for forgiveness, or offering it?

That particular secret was going to remain a mystery, because she certainly wasn’t going to seek him out to solve it.  Allegra had plans to keep her head low, and out of the Bishop’s way. 

She intended to do the same with Sister Mary Vincent as well, but when the Reverend Mother Superior called, it was her obligation to appear as ordered. 

Navigating the familiar corridors, Allegra nodded and smiled at the occasional familiar face.  Nearly every one of them averted her eyes after only the tiniest acknowledgement.  Her presence here wasn’t any more welcome than it was five months ago, she thought resignedly, arriving at Sister Mary Vincent’s office. 

Her fist rose and knocked sharply on the heavy walnut door.

Sad that those who profess the love of God aren’t all that loving to those they consider ‘strayed’.

“Enter, please.”

Doing as she was bid, Allegra came to obediently stand before the large wooden desk, and await further instruction.

“Please be seated,” the nun invited, folding her hands in front of her, and waiting for Allegra to comply.  Her mouth was quirked into a bit of a frown, as though she was unsure of what she wanted to say next, and that totally floored Allegra.  She’d never known the Reverend Mother to be at a loss for words.

Doing as she was instructed, Allegra sat silently in the straight-back chair, hands demurely in her lap, and both feet flat on the floor until the Sister was ready to speak.

“How are you finding thing so far?”

The question surprised her a bit.  She’d envisioned this as a rules and etiquette session, formalizing what was expected of her during her time with the Sisters.  The concern for her accommodations hadn’t crossed her mind.

“Just fine thank you.  Familiar, yet different.  I’m sure you understand.”

“Yes… I would think so.”  Sister Mary Vincent cleared her throat quietly.  “Allegra, as I’ve already mentioned, your situation is quite unfortunate, and I am sympathetic to what you are going through.”

“And I appreciate that Reverend Mother.  Thank you.”

“In light of the fact that you’re keeping this from your family, I feel bound to offer you counsel in their place.”

Counsel?  Wondering what that could mean, Allegra only nodded.

“The circumstances that you find yourself in are not of your own choosing, and it makes them difficult to accept.  Don’t you agree?”  Kindly eyes sought affirmation, and it was dutifully provided.

“As children of God, we have to trust that He knows what is right for us.  Often, it does not seem so at the time, but there is always a higher purpose to His actions – a purpose that is beyond our understanding for the greater good of mankind.”

It sounded so much like the conversation they’d had after Tessa that Allegra wondered if the woman had only one script that she modified for any occasion.  Did she really expect her to take this seriously?

She had to forcibly bite her tongue from making the comparison out loud.  It wouldn’t do to start an argument with the woman only twelve hours into her stay.  Allegra still had the horrible feeling that she’d done the wrong thing by coming here, but it was the best solution she had at the moment.  Therefore, freedom of speech wasn’t a luxury that she could afford. 

Somehow she managed to mutter no more than a demure, “Yes, Sister.”

“Have you asked God for guidance in accepting the challenges that He’s put before you?”

That was a new line, and gave her reason for pause.  She hadn’t.  The occasional ‘please Lord’ had been the only real communication she’d had in months, and reluctantly admitted that it couldn’t hurt to have a bit of a lengthier conversation.  Heaven knew she needed some type of guidance. 

“Not yet Sister, but I plan to.”

Her pleased smile indicated that it was apparently enough of a breakthrough to suit the Reverend Mother. 

“Wonderful.  Now, as you know we are a working community of Sisters, striving to provide for others as well as maintain ourselves.  That means that there can be no idle hands, whether it be in the gardens, kitchen, orphanage, or some other area of the Church or cloister.”

“Of course.”  This wasn’t to be a free ride, and she hadn’t wanted or expected it to be.  She was no stranger to hard work, and would do whatever was necessary to earn her keep.  “Where do you feel that I can be of the most help?”

“I understand that you’ve met our newest Sister, Mary Clementine.”

Unbidden, a smile curled her lips.  “Yes, I have.  A very sweet woman.”

“You may have noticed that she… fades in and out.  The poor dear is suffering with Alzheimer’s and a touch of dementia.”

“I suspected there was something like that.  Why is she here?”

“She’s been to several convents and cloisters in the Northeast throughout her many years of service.  With the advancing of her medical condition, it appears as though gardening is really the only thing that brings her any peace from the confusion.   Since it’s that time of year, and our gardens here are quite extensive, they believed this would be a good place for her.”

That made sense.  Allegra had personally seen what the mere discussion of flowers could do for the woman.  She was glad that someone had the compassion and foresight to find a comfortable place for her.

“As she seems drawn to you for some reason, I would like for you to keep an eye on her and help in the gardens.”

Gardening was one of her least favorite things to do, but keeping company with Sister Mary Clementine should prove to be interesting.  The two short encounters they’d had so far had been pleasant enough and she’d begun to develop a soft spot for her.  Some enjoyable company would be a much appreciated distraction.

It’s not like she could refuse in good conscience, anyway.

“Of course.  It would be my pleasure.”

♪♫ ♥ ♫ ♪

He pushed the phone back in his pocket with a sigh.  She still wasn’t answering.  Richie had tried to call Allegra a couple of times this afternoon, but there was no answer either at work or on her cell phone.  Most likely, she was avoiding his calls and the ‘discussion’ that would evolve from it.

That was okay, he was far more persuasive in person. 

Tonight.

“Hey man,” David greeted him, wandering through the catering area.  They had some time to spare, and he was going to grab a sandwich before sound check. 

Richie barely glanced up from his cup of coffee.  “Hey.”

“Heard anything from Legs today?”

Allegra said that she and Dave exchanged text messages frequently.  Maybe HE had talked to her.  Rather than answering the question, he turned the tables on his keyboardist. “Have you?”

“Nope.”  He plopped down at the table with his sandwich and a bottle of water.  “I can’t believe you’re letting her head off to the sticks for God knows how long.”

“Let her?”  Richie scoffed.  “Since when does she need or want permission to do anything?”

David dipped his head and saluted him with the water bottle.  “True dat.  I’m just glad she had enough sense to make security arrangements.”

Shit.  I didn’t even think about security.

“Yeah, well, she’s stubborn, not stupid.  And she’s not gone yet.  Hopefully I can talk her out of it when I get h-“  The word home nearly tumbled out of his mouth without warning.  It was far too easy to associate where Allegra was with home, but they weren’t there yet.  Philly WASN’T his home, California was.  “To Philly tonight.”

“Good luck with that, dude.”