Chapter 96

The sun peeked through the window, its rays shining brightly across the bed and letting Allegra know it was time to face the day.

But she wasn’t in the bed.

Following Richie’s call and another series of emotional outbursts, she’d finally reconciled herself to the stark, cold reality.  No amount of blubbering and bawling was going to change her situation, and she had to come up with a reasonable plan for at least the next seven weeks.  Then she could have the paternity test done, and figure out what to do for real.

She briefly considered just keeping the pregnancy to herself for those few weeks and going about her daily routine, but didn’t have enough confidence in her acting ability.  As changed as she felt already, someone was bound to notice a difference in her and start asking questions that she couldn’t answer without spilling her secret.

And what about the morning sickness?  Surely that would start soon?  Depending on the severity, one of her co-workers – Lord, probably Nadine – would piece together her mad dashes to the bathroom and intolerance for food. 

Not knowing what to expect from her body was a major wildcard that narrowed her already limited options.   

Calling Dot was a fleeting notion that didn’t last either.  They’d already done so much for her, and Jon had been just as adamant as Richie about taking that pill after the rape.  Allegra couldn’t defiantly refuse to take it and then ask them to deal with the fallout.  As tempting as it was to go hide on their estate, it wasn’t a reasonable choice.

The rest of her family was totally eliminated without a second thought.  She knew they’d have to find out eventually, but it would be so much easier to tell them she was pregnant with Richie’s child, if that’s what the paternity test confirmed.  There was too much uncertainty yet, and so far she’d managed to keep the rape hidden from them.   Bringing that topic up for discussion was a last resort.

All of that left only one alternative.

She would have to disappear for a while.

Regrettably, disappearing wasn’t as easy as it sounded.  It wasn’t as though there were a lot of places to stay, especially since she’d eliminated her family.  Nor did she have an abundance of cash lying around for a hotel room. 

There WAS one option though…  If she had the nerve to do it.

Of course, ‘if’ wasn’t really a luxury she could afford at the moment.  It was do it or…  Well, she preferred not to think about the alternative.  There was no guarantee she wouldn’t be turned away, but she had to make her plea.

And that was just one of the million details to consider before dropping from the face of the earth.  There were not only details to consider, but people.   Too many people would notice that she just went missing and be unnecessarily worried, and she couldn’t allow that.  It was cruel in the current situation.  Her planning had to be meticulous so that she could vanish without alarming anyone. 

For that reason, a good portion of the night had been spent combing through dozens of scenarios and possibilities before she felt she’d – finally – covered all the bases.  A few phone calls today would confirm whether or not everything would fall into place.  Until then, she held her breath, prayed and did what she could do.

It was also how the sunrise that came knocking on her pillow found her in the closet, repacking the last of her belongings, grateful that she’d only tossed the empty boxes in a closet instead of the trash. 

With the last box sealed, she had only a small suitcase left to be topped off after she was dressed.   Noting the time, she moved toward the bathroom with a sigh.  Gus would be downstairs shortly, waiting to shuttle her to work. 

It was going to be a long and challenging day.

♪♫

“What’s with the suitcase?” Gus asked, taking it from her to put in the trunk.

Most everything was still upstairs, but she was going to need this small suitcase before she could get back to the condo.

Dredging up every bit of fake cheer that she could muster, Allegra beamed at him.  “I’ve got a little trip planned this afternoon, with your help of course.”

“Oh, yeah?”  He circled the car, sliding in the front seat as she climbed into the back.  “Where are we going?”

“I’ll tell you after work,” she said, forcing a little laugh.  “Oh, and I might be leaving early today.  Can I just text you when I’m ready?”

“Whatever you want.  I’m here to keep you safe, not hold you back.”  Gus winked at her in the review mirror before merging into traffic for the short commute to Market Street.

Her stomach clenched uncomfortably, but she kept her face schooled in a pleasant expression.

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

But that didn’t stop her from trudging ahead.

Once inside the Soul Foundation, she beat a direct path for her personal office, closing the door firmly behind her.  The Soul Kitchen outline and logistics hadn’t been completed, and it had to get done this morning.  Before… 

She sighed and hoped that interruptions would be minimal with the door closed.  It should at least afford her enough privacy to make her first phone call. Closing her eyes, she mentally prepared herself to grovel, if necessary. 

Lord, please pave the way…

A mumbled amen, and her hand reached for the receiver, dialing the number from memory.  One ring… 

Two…

“Blessed Sacrament Cloister,” a quiet voice greeted.  Sister Priscilla perhaps?

“Good morning.  May I speak to Sister Mary Vincent?”

“Who’s calling please?”

The black sheep of the cloister.

Even if it was true, she thought it would be safer to stick with something more traditional.  “Allegra Castanelli.”

“One moment please, and I’ll see if she is available.”

“Thank you.”

Her idle hands picked up a pen and began doodling around the edges of her calendar.  Random swirls turned into angry clouds as she waited.  Bored with those, hearts began materializing in between the clouds.  A handful appeared, only to have lightning strike down the middle of each, effectively breaking them in half.

She threw the pen down in defeat as the familiar voice came over the line.

“Allegra.  What a surprise,” the Mother Superior greeted coolly.

“Hello Sister Mary Vincent, how are you?”

“Quite well, thank you for asking.  What can I do for you?”

Just ask.  She can only say no. 

“I find myself in a bit of an usual situation, Sister, and am in need of temporary shelter.  I was hopeful that, since we parted amicably, the cloister would consider taking me in for a short time.”

The elongated silence didn't give Allegra warm, fuzzy feelings about a joyful reunion.

Something near an eternity passed before the nun finally cleared her throat, and hesitantly posed the question, “What type of situation has you seeking refuge with us?” 

“Well, Sister…”  Allegra drew a deep breath and explained about the rape and pregnancy, leaving out only the tiny little detail about possibly already being pregnant when the rape took place.

Upon hearing the trials that Allegra had endured, Sister Mary Vincent became a little more compassionate.  “My child, I’m so sorry to hear of your misfortune, but what of your family?  Can they not assist you?”

Deciding to keep it as simple as possible, Allegra chose her words carefully.  “They don’t know about the assault, and I’d prefer to keep it that way for the time being.  My cousin Jon is the only one who knows.”  That was more information than she needed to share, and she switched tracks to keep from revealing anything else.  “I don’t need to stay long, Sister.  It would be only a short while until I can figure things out and make more permanent arrangements.”

“I…  can’t make a commitment just yet, I’m afraid.  The Bishop will have the final decision.  I will speak to him and see what he has to say.”

Bishop Mancuso had taken his post over the Blessed Sacrament Cloister only scant weeks before he and Allegra had their falling out.  There was little hope that he’d moved on since then, but it didn’t hurt to ask.

“I assume that you’re speaking of Bishop Mancuso?”

“Yes,” was the short and unadorned answer.  Undoubtedly, the Sister was wondering about the futility of it all.  Their parting had been amenable enough, but everything that led TO the parting was not all kittens and rainbows.

Of course.  God, are you listening here? 

“I understand.  When would be a good time for me to check back with you, Sister Mary Vincent?  I don’t mean to be pushy, but I’m in a bit of a time sensitive spot.”

After receiving instructions to call back that afternoon, Allegra thanked her again before replacing the receiver in its cradle.  Stifling a yawn as her sleepless night caught up to her, she was left with her Soul Kitchen project to complete and another nun to battle.

  

♪♫♪

 “Sister Mary, may I speak with you a moment?”

Allegra’s palms were sweating as she stood in threshold of her employer’s personal domain.  The lie she was about to utter had been rehearsed no less than a dozen times, but she felt no more confident in her delivery of it than when she’d begun.  Sister Mary was a perceptive woman who would require an Oscar-worthy performance.

There’s no point in praying about this one.  I don’t think God is going to sanction a broken commandment.

“Come in Allegra.”

Pushing the door softly closed, she kept her eyes averted to the carpeting while approaching the desk.  Tears pricked at her eyes with anticipation of what was to come.  Allegra loved being here at the Foundation and leaving was one more piece to be pulled from her already broken heart.

“I finished the outline and specs on the Soul Kitchen project, as Jon requested, and emailed you a copy.”

“Already?” Sister Mary asked with surprise.  “I thought you would be at least a few more days on that.”

Allegra swallowed deeply, and forced the despair away.  “I made time this morning, so that it would be finished before I left.”

“What are you talking about?  Leaving for where?”

Lacing her fingers together, she forced her hands to be still in her lap while offering a hesitant smile.  “Sister Mary, you’ve been incredibly tolerant of me and my unusual life, and I’m more grateful than you can possibly imagine.”

“But..?” the nun asked with a frown, steepling her fingers in front of her face.

“But Richie has been after me to travel with him and the band.  He wants us to spend more time together, and I’ve come to realize that I do, too.   I resisted at first, but the closer we become, the more the idea haunts me.”

“You’re leaving a job that you fought tooth and nail for, so that you can follow him around on tour.”  The disbelief and contempt practically dripped from her lips.  “Like a groupie.”

Blushing furiously, she bit back the sharp retort that volunteered to spring forth without hesitation.  It appeared as though Sister Mary knew her better than she thought.

“I know it sounds childish and ridiculous,” she stammered, refusing to meet the older woman’s eyes.   “Actually, I never could’ve imagined that I would do such a thing, either, but he’s been very persuasive.”

“I’m sure he has.”

“Um.  Yes.”  Allegra cleared her throat as the humiliation rose up to choke her.  

She’s just gotten to the point of respecting me, and I tear that respect into shreds with one ridiculous notion.  There had to have been a better way to do this.  I was just too stupid to think of it.

The nun’s sharp voice pierced her self-reproach.  “When will you be leaving?”  Her mouth was pinched with displeasure and shoulders set with anger.  Papers were rattled and crinkled agitatedly as she organized the strewn mess from the desktop.

“Today,” Allegra told her quietly. 

With a terse nod, she was informed, “I suppose that’s all there is to say then.”

Understanding that she’d been dismissed, Allegra stood, yet was reluctant to leave on such poor terms.  Her chin quivered imperceptibly, but her voice was steady and proud when she said, “Thank you for everything.  You’re the heart and soul of this Foundation.”

Sister Mary’s eyes snapped to Allegra’s in surprise, the words taking a bit of the wind from her sails.  She reflected upon the younger woman with a curious intensity, as her elbows came to rest on the desk before her.  The rigid angle of her shoulders softened almost unnoticeably. 

“Why are you doing this, Allegra?  You’re not a woman who needs a man to define who she is.”

No, I’m not.  But I love him enough not to let my actions define who HE is.

She pasted on a convincing smile and put a lilt in her voice.  “I’m doing what I need to do.”