Ninety-Seven

Sister Mary still didn’t understand, but how could Allegra expect her to understand something that didn’t make sense – even to HER?  If there had been any other way, she would have chosen it over turning herself into ‘that’ woman. 

Groupie Whore – Take Two.

It was one more thing to regret and blame herself for.  Before this was over, she would need a book the size of War and Peace to keep those things in.  For now, she shoved it to the back of her mind, denying that it ever happened.

A quick glance at her computer showed that it was one o’clock.  It was early in the afternoon, but it WAS afternoon.  Even knowing she was pushing her luck, she reached for the phone to dial Sister Mary Vincent.   Nervous fingertips brushed the receiver at the same instant the phone pealed forth with its electronic ring.   

The noise startled her, causing her to jump and send the coffee mug on her desk tumbling to the floor.

“Crap!”

Luckily, the cup was empty and did nothing more than create a clatter.  Quickly righting it, she chided herself for being so skittish and lifted the handset with an absentminded, “Allegra Castanelli.”

“Hey, Sunshine.  Are you feeling better today?”

The uproar of emotion, that she’d effectively kept contained so far today, threatened to break free at his honeyed drawl of a greeting.  Knuckles whitened as she clung to the receiver like a lifeline, and heaviness settled itself in the vicinity of her heart.

Dammit.  I wasn’t ready for this yet! 

She hastily looked up to confirm that the door was closed, and forced herself to respond as normally as possible.  “A little.”

He waited for her to elaborate, but when nothing but silence filled the air, he prodded further.  “How’s your day going so far?”

“Busy.”   The moment had arrived.  If she didn’t do this now, she never would.  Allegra squared her shoulders and plunged ahead.  “I’m cleaning things off my desk since I’m going to be out of the office for a while.”

“Out of the office?  Did I know that?” 

Confusion permeated the questions, and she knew he was scrambling in search of some forgotten memory. 

“No, it just happened this morning.  There’s been all of that flooding in the northeast recently, and areas – especially rural ones – are still suffering from the devastation.  There are a lot of displaced people right now, so I’m going on an outreach program for a few weeks, to see what I can do to help.”

She’d happened to hear about the continuing struggles on the news, and built her escape around it.  There were still power outages, and communication was limited.  It was the only plausible circumstance she’d conjured up that would have her out of contact for an extended period of time.

“A few WEEKS?”

Seven to be exact.  Then I’ll know if I have the right to beg you to take me back.

“Yes.”

“But…  The break starts in two days.  I was hoping you would spend it with me.”  His feeling of abandonment was clear, and pinched her heart with remorse.

 I know you were, sweetheart.  So was I, she thought dolefully.

“I’m sorry, Richie.  This is something I have to do.” 

“So you’re blowing me off on the biggest break I have until August, to go… what?  Serve in a soup kitchen or something?”

Please let it go.  Don’t make me be a bitch.

“I’m sorry that you choose to see it that way.”

“Is there any OTHER way to see it?” he demanded belligerently, and she winced at the bite in his tone. 

I can’t argue with you.  I WON’T argue with you.  It’s not going to end this way.

“Richie, I HAVE to do this.  I’m GOING to do this.”

The huff of frustration came through the phone line loud and clear.  “Well you’re not leaving TOMORROW are you?”

More like today.

“No, I’m not leaving tomorrow.”

“Then we can talk about this when I get back to Philly.”

“No.”   In her mind it was more of a panicked, No, no, no, no, NO!  She couldn’t let him come back to Philly expecting to find her waiting.  It was cruel, and she didn’t want to imagine him wandering around the empty condo.

“Don’t come to Philly,” she told him firmly.  “Go to LA and spend some of this time with your daughter.  You need it and she needs it.”

But he’d already solved the problem in his head, and moved on.  “Jon’s got us in the studio as soon as we get back, anyway.  Ava’s still in school.  I’ll make sure we have plenty of time together.”

“Richie…”

“I’ve gotta run, Sunshine,” he interrupted before she could make any further argument.  “I’ll see you after the show tomorrow.”

“DON’T come to Philly,” she pleaded one last time.

He either wasn’t listening, or chose to ignore her.  “Love you, baby.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered to the dead line.  The despicable, now all-too-familiar tears welled in her eyes.  

♪♫♥♫♪

Richie hung up the phone irritably, with an unhappy growl. 

What the fuck is THAT all about?

Suddenly, out of the blue, she plans to be gone a few WEEKS?  Without even mentioning that it was a possibility?  Right at the beginning of his tour break?

Okay, that made it sound like his work was more important than hers, and it wasn’t what he meant at all.

He understood the passion and commitment she had for her job.  Honestly, he did.  It came from the core of who she was, and her dedication impressed the hell out of him.  He knew that she loved her job every bit as much as he loved his.  Any other time, he wouldn’t hesitate to encourage her in saving the world one person at a time – would give her every bit of his support and help.

Any other time but NOW.

This damn engagement ring was burning a hole in his pocket.  He couldn’t understand it, but there was an inexplicable urgency to get it on her finger, before it was too late.  Too late for what, he had no idea, but the little voice inside his head was going crazy with the notion that there was a metaphorical clock out there, just ticking away. 

Proposal aside, he damn well MISSED her.  Her smell, the feel of her skin, her silky hair, the way she cuddled up to him in bed. 

Surely there’s a flight out of Charlotte after midnight tomorrow.  There has to be.

His fingers started tapping over the touch screen of his phone, desperately in search of flight information.

Richie needed an Allegra fix.  The sooner, the better.

♪♫♥♫♪

The few small personal belongings she’d brought to the office were tucked safely in her purse, and she was just texting Gus to come get her after receiving the approval to come back to the cloister. 

Sounding almost shocked, Sister Mary Vincent had passed on the Bishop’s approval for temporary shelter at the Blessed Sacrament Cloister.  All she had to do was provide them with some emergency contact information in case there were medical problems, and Allegra could join them that evening.

After receiving assurance that the contact information would be used ONLY in case of emergency, Allegra gave Jon’s name and number.   He was definitely the best choice to be on her side in that type of situation.  Plans firmly in motion, she’d heaved a sigh of relief.   It was a huge hurdle, and she was relieved to have cleared it.

Her phone chimed, and receiving the reply that Gus wouldn’t be there for about fifteen minutes, Allegra thought that was time enough to take care of David. 

She’d already e-mailed Jon the outreach story along with the Soul Kitchen plans, knowing he would tell Dot…  Another twinge of guilt there, but Dorothea was even more perceptive than Richie, and not as easily distracted.  No.  She couldn’t take the chance that Dot would sense something amiss.

Her parents didn’t have much daily contact with her, but it was yet another loose end to be tied up, just in case.  Not wanting to talk any more than she had to, she left a message on their answering machine at a time when she knew they would be out.  It was short and simple, stating only that she was going on a work assignment and would be out of contact for a while. 

Now…  David.

He’d already texted three times today to say hi, and offer a bit of pithy humor.  She hadn’t replied to him as of yet, not knowing what to say.  Bare-bones details were probably easiest.  David wasn’t as emotionally entangled as Richie, nor as suspicious as Dot.  Allegra was sure he would accept the news easily and with minimal fanfare.

Hey.  Will be incommunicado for a few weeks.  Heading to the boonies for flood relief, no cell signal.  Talk when I get back.  Xoxo

With any luck at all, he would accept it at face value and she had one more person ticked off her list.  Unfortunately, the closer she got to the end of the list, the more she battled fatigue and exhaustion from her sleepless night.  The mountain that loomed in front of her suddenly felt huge and insurmountable.  She was starting to second guess herself. 

I feel like such a bitch for doing this to everyone.  Maybe I should just tell them. 

That second voice that had taken up residency in her head as of late, wasted no time in offering her opinion.

You’re a SELFISH bitch if you tell them, and especially HIM. He’s too sweet and he’s been through enough without being asked to raise a bastard child.

She sniffed and swiftly blinked her eyes, choking back a cry as the harshness of the words stabbed at her.      

The chiming of a text message arrival interrupted the internal battering she was taking.  Grateful for the distraction of what she anticipated to be a goofy David-ism, she tapped the screen, only to be greeted with:

WEEKS?!?!?  WTF??  You can’t leave me for that long!

With a groan, her chin dropped to her chest and she inhaled deeply.  What would be the nicest, yet firmest way to say this?

A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, babe. You’ll live.

With a start, she remembered Gus waiting downstairs.  Allegra grabbed her purse and crossed to the door, pausing to take one long, final look at HER office.  Tomorrow it would belong to someone else, and she would be right back where she started. 

Brushing her hand over her stomach, she acknowledged that wasn’t entirely true.  Maybe in the same PLACE she started, but definitely not the same situation.  Before she could melt into a puddle of sentimentality, Allegra flipped off the lights and pulled the door behind her.

The Joker’s laugh immediately pealed in her pocket. 

I can’t talk to you and be convincing right now, David. 

A quick finger tap declined the call, and she stepped into the elevator.  The car hadn’t reached the ground level before his decision to resort to text messaging was announced by a cheery chime.

You can’t be serious??

Again, the weariness swept over her, and she was sorely tempted to tell him everything.  He claimed to be smart.  HE could figure out what to do.  The thought had no more formed before she definitively vetoed it.  It wasn’t his place to take care of her. 

Sighing, she shunned the niceties and told him point blank:

Dave I love you.  Don’t be a pain in the butt.  I’m going, and I’ll be in touch soon. 

Pausing in the lobby, she put her back in the corner, next to a ficus tree.  She knew it would only be a matter of seconds…

Legs! Who am I gonna talk to every day?  :(

Stifling a sigh, she tried to rein in her irritation. They’d become good friends, and she knew he was just concerned, but evidently he’d forgotten that she wasn’t the main woman in his life. 

Your fiancée? ;) 

That should put an end to THAT strain of whining…

What about security??

Okay, now she was almost glad she had this conversation.  This gave her the opportunity to address that question, and he could pass along the info to Richie and Jon if – when – they asked.   Her safety would not be an issue at the cloister.  They were very particular about who they let come and go, and she was certain that Felix wasn’t going to come knocking at the door.

Details already worked out.  I’ll be safe.  Stop being a nag.  Bye Dave. xo

*sigh* Be careful.

♪♫♥♫♪

“So where are we going?” Gus asked after she was settled into the back seat.

“Gus, my friend, we’re going to the airport,” she informed him with contrived joviality. 

Last one, Allegra.  You can let your defenses down after this.

He winged one eyebrow in curiosity as he pulled away from the curb.  “Where are you jetting off to?  And, more importantly, do my employers know where you’re jetting off to?”

“They will,” she assured him, “but not yet.  I need your help to pull off a little surprise.”

“Uh oh.  I’m not liking the sounds of this.”

“Relax.  It’s perfectly harmless.  Richie has been after me to join him on this leg of the tour, and I’ve decided to do it for the last two shows.  But I want to SURPRISE him, so you can’t say anything.  To ANY-body”

“Geez, Allegra,” he groaned.  “You know the rules.  Nowhere without an escort.”

“We’ve worked around that before,” she wheedled, becoming desperate as the light materialized at the end of the tunnel.  “Besides, YOU didn’t even know I was going anywhere today.  The jerk that you’re protecting me from can’t possibly know.” 

He frowned and shook his head regretfully.  “I can’t do it without Jon or Richie’s seal of approval.  I’m sorry.”

So close…  Think of something!!

“Gus…”  She leaned forward and lowered her voice.  “Imagine if you hadn’t seen your new girlfriend for over two weeks.  Can’t you feel the rush of adrenaline that would punch you in the gut the instant you see her and realize your long dry spell is over?”

He cringed with his whole body.  “I really don’t want YOU and those thoughts in my mind at the same time, if you don’t mind.”

“I’m not asking you to,” she said, smacking him on the shoulder.  “I’m asking you not to rob Richie of that feeling.”

She watched him debate with his conscience.  He was torn between wanting to help her and not pissing off the man who signed his paycheck.  Seeing him teeter, she pushed a little harder.

“Come on Gus.  He deserves a pick-me-up to carry him through these last two shows.  Let me do this for him.  Please?”

He fell to her side with a grumble of defeat.

“I swear to God, Allegra, you’re going to be the death of me.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that a time or two,” she laughed, even as she fell back into the seat.  “The good news is that it hasn’t happened yet.”

♪♫♥♫♪

Allegra stumbled through the door of the condo with a weary groan.  It had taken an eternity to catch a taxi from the airport, and that was AFTER Gus had waited and watched her forever, before finally moving on.

Exhaustion or not, she couldn’t allow herself to stop now.  There were only two more things left on her endless list of tasks before she could sink into a short oblivion.  Gathering herself, she went into the master suite and began the process of dragging out one box at a time, until they were all stacked in the living room.

In double-checking the bedroom, she found the unopened ‘special’ delivery Richie had sent her a few days ago.  She left it on the bed, alongside her phone. 

Allegra had decided that it would be too much of a temptation to keep her phone.  Every day would be a test to see if she had the strength to avoid answering a text or call.  She knew that there would be that one day or time when she couldn’t, and it was best not to invite it in. 

Turning resolutely away, she scrounged in the nightstand drawer for a pen and a piece of paper.  Just one last thing and she was on her way. 

‘Richie,

     I knew you would come anyway…’