Chapter 52

His head falling back with a slight groan, he blew a long breath out toward the ceiling.  Fixing his cobalt eyes on hers, his left eyebrow lifted in question.  “Are you kidding me?  We can’t have two seconds of peace between us before you’ve gotta go and say something like that?”

Her pearly white teeth sparkled almost as brightly as his when she attempted to dazzle him with her Jon-esque grin.  “Hey, you’ve got your tail between your legs.  There’s never been a better time for me to make my own little itty, bitty confession.”

A snort of laughter escaped, and he released her to resume his seat in the vacated chair.  “I have a feeling I should be sitting.”

“Oh, please.”  She fluttered her hand nonchalantly before planting it on her hip in a fist.  “It’s not even that big of a deal.  More of an FYI, if anything.”

“Uh huh.”  He clearly wasn’t buying it.

“As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t tell you at all if I didn’t have to answer to my boss about it tomorrow.”

Jon didn’t miss the reference, and his chin lifted sharply searching her face for clues to the question he hadn’t yet voiced.  “Boss?  You found a job?”

“I did,” she affirmed.  “One that fits me well, in an organization that I’m proud to be affiliated with.”

Latching onto her hand, he pulled her to perch on the bed in front of him once again.  A tinge of excitement colored his voice, and genuine interest reflected in eyes as he encouraged, “Yeah?  So tell me about it already.”

“You’re going to be happy about this.”    She didn’t know if she believed it, or if was her attempt at willing it into existence.

Unable to decipher why she was so hesitant, he remembered how this part of the conversation began.  His eyes narrowed slightly, “Am I?”

Her gaze commanded his with complete and total confidence.  Dammit, he WOULD be happy about it.  “You’re an ass if you aren’t,” Allegra informed him pertly.  “Considering that I am now an integral part of your Soul Foundation.”

Jon couldn’t have been more stunned.  He vaguely reminded her of a fish the way his mouth gaped open, then closed, and then opened again.  She quietly monitored the array of reactions that flitted across his features:  shock, confusion, comprehension, irritation, anger, forced calm, detachment. 

Yeah, that about covers it.

As he allowed the emotional detachment to congeal, he simply looked at her for the longest time, obviously scouring his mind for an appropriate response – one that wouldn’t start the next episode of Family Feud. 

“You’re doing great,” she assured him, after what had to be a full minute of silence.  “But I’m just wondering.  Have you bitten your tongue COMPLETELY in two yet, or will you still be able to sing tomorrow night?”

That snapped him out of his indecisive state.  “You know I’m sitting here doing my damnedest to be to be rational and not let my temper loose, so why would you start with the smartass attitude?”

With an arrogant arch of her brow, she looked down her nose at him.  “Because I may have forgiven you, but it doesn’t mean you still don’t need to pay a little more penance, my child.”  She crossed herself for good measure, pleased when he couldn’t keep his twitching lips from curving into a smile.

“Jesus.”  He shook his head, with a quiet sniff.  “Okay, whatever.  Now, how did you manage to become an ‘integral part’ of the Soul Foundation without my knowledge?”

Satisfied that he wasn’t going to be all ‘Jon’ about it, she shared the story of her interview with Sister Mary, which he found just as amusing as Richie had.  He remained silent, allowing her to tell her about the arrangement she had to keep him out of the loop, what her duties were, and how much she was enjoying the position.

“You know all you had to do was ask, and I would’ve made it happen,” Jon said, after she’d finished.

“And you know that I wanted to do it on my own,” she countered.  “Unless you decide to fire me, it’s over, so just let it go.”

His reply was aborted by a pounding on the door. 

“Are you both still alive?  I want to know what the hell is going on!” Richie’s frustration was plainly heard through the thin wooden barrier.

Crap.  She hadn’t thought about what they’d tell Richie when they left this room.  It was still her firm belief that he didn’t need to know the details, but she wasn’t going to lie to him either. 

Seeing her dilemma, Jon rose from the chair.  “I’ll take care of it,” he assured her with a light squeeze on the shoulder.  “Come on in, Rich!”

The door swung inward, and Richie anxiously sought Allegra.  His eyes darted from one cousin to the other, searching for some clue as to what had transpired.  Both faces were almost expressionless.  “Sunshine?”

Allegra rose and met him halfway, wrapping her arms around his waist with a serene smile.  “It’s okay, sweetie.  We’re good.”

“Bro?”

Jon nodded his head in agreement.  “Yeah, man, it’s all good.”

Tucking Allegra under his arm, Richie informed them, “No, it’s not all good, because SOMEBODY is going to tell me what the fuck went on here this weekend.  I’m tired of being in the dark.”  His thumb lifted Allegra’s chin to look into her eyes.  “I’m not doing this, baby.  I don’t like being shut out, and if this is how it’s going to be…  Well, that’s not the kind of relationship I’m looking for.”

“Rich, don’t.”  Jon commanded quietly.  “She was trying to protect you.”

His head snapped up in disbelief.  “Protect me from what?”

 “I’ll be damned if I’m going to be the only one missing out on this.”  Dorothea appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame with her arms crossed.

Jon didn’t acknowledge her, but spoke directly to his best friend.  “I asked Allegra to break up with you.  Wait a minute before you get all pissed,” he hurried on, seeing Richie’s features turn stormy.  “It was for your own good, man.  You get SO involved, SO fast.”  He jammed his fists into his pockets and briefly dropped his eyes to the floor. 

“Well, I know how easy she is to love…  I was hoping it would end before anybody got in too deep. Dammit, I just didn’t want to see your heart broken! ” he finally blurted.   His renowned diplomatic skills were nowhere to be found when owning up to the man who stood before him – the one who knew him better than all others.    “I wouldn’t be able to stand watching that black hole swallow you up again.”

Richie spoke directly to Allegra.  “This is what had you upset?”  He waited for her acknowledgement, then slipped his arm away, moving to place himself directly between the two. 

Allegra shivered, the cool breeze of air conditioning taking the place of Richie’s warmth.  Had she been wrong in not telling him?  Should she have let him be pissed at Jon too?  It was too late to second guess herself now.  Whatever his reaction, she would have to live with it.

His focused was pinned on Jon at the moment though.  “What if it was too late?  What if I was already in too deep?  YOU may have been the one responsible for the very consequences you didn’t want.”

“Yeah, that’s what she said,” he mumbled.

“Jon, I know you’ve gone above and beyond in the last couple of years, and I’ll be forever grateful.   You’ve been my rock, and ya know I love you like nobody else.  But there comes a point when I’ve got to either sink or swim on my own – and that point is now,”  he announced firmly, feet planted and arms crossed defiantly.

“I told you at the chapel, I get it – and I do.”  Jon’s hands were raised in self-defense.  “I overstepped my bounds and I’m out of this, man.  Just know that I always want the best for you, and I’m here if you need me.”  He turned to include Allegra in his declaration.  “That goes for both of you.  No matter what.”

Allegra watched the interaction wordlessly, appreciating the depth of their bond.  She had perhaps underestimated the level of respect they had for one another, and now realized that they’d likely weathered far worse circumstances.  Again, she questioned the wisdom of her silence.  Had she made a grand gesture for no good reason?

Satisfied that he and Jon had an understanding, Richie directed his attention to Allegra and vented the remainder of his frustration.  “What do you think we’ve been doing the last couple of weeks?  I meant it when I said I don’t like being shut out.  Everything we’ve talked about and done since Jersey has been about building trust and communication.  You KNOW how I feel about that after Heather!”  He shook his head, spinning on his heel to leave the room.

Allegra’s heart dropped into her feet at the sight of his broad back stalking away.  She didn’t realize it could all end so easily, without warning.  That she could go from delirium to devastation in the space of a minute.  What was she supposed to do?  Did she just let him go? 

Fortunately, she didn’t have to make that decision.

He stood before Dorothea, who looked him up and down disinterestedly, still firmly ensconced in the doorway through which he was attempting to escape.  “Where do you think you’re going?” she asked casually.

“Move D,” the quiet order came.    

“No,” she informed him coolly.  “Not until you get your head clear and see the whole picture.   You don’t get to be angry with Allegra over this.  Yes, she thought she was protecting you from having to choose sides, and maybe you didn’t need it.  Or, I don’t know, maybe you have too much pride to let a woman protect your feelings.  But do you GET that she told the cousin she’s idolized her WHOLE LIFE to stick a sock in it?   She chose YOU, ya big dumb Mook.”

Like any couple who had been together for a long period of time, Jon and Dorothea had absorbed one another’s personality traits and quirks – at least to a certain extent.  Right now, the belligerence radiating from the woman in front of Richie was all Jersey Jonny. 

With a prideful smirk, Jon recognized the look in her eyes and knew Rich wasn’t going anywhere that Dot didn’t let him go.  It didn’t matter that he topped her by over half a foot in stature.  She had the attitude and the martial arts training to back him into a corner without breaking a sweat.  And he knew it.

With a sigh, Richie pivoted himself back toward Allegra.  “Tell me why,” was all he said.

He watched closely as her eyes swam like a turbulent ocean.  A multitude of blues and grays fought for dominance in her irises, mirroring the tempestuously swirling emotions behind them.

Allegra was beyond innocent when it came to lovers’ quarrels.  With no experience to draw on, she had to shoot from the hip and the heart.

“Because I didn’t want you to be mad at him when he was only trying to keep you safe.”  Her eyes darted to Jon briefly.  “As angry as he made me, I understood and respected that.   I also didn’t want you to feel obligated to defend me.  You have enough going on keeping up with the touring schedule.  There was no point in adding unnecessary drama to your life by having to referee the two of us.  You didn’t deserve to be put in the middle, and I did what I thought was right.”  Lifting her chin boldly, she tacked on, “And I’d do it again.”

He hadn’t so much as twitched during her monologue, his scrutiny relentless.  One stride brought him close enough to feel her breath on his face.  “Why?”  he asked again, softly, forgetting that there was an audience in the room with them.

Why indeed.  She knew the answer, but kept silent.  His eyes captivated her, as always.  Richie was a cheerful, pleasant soul who always harbored a sparkle of mischief and laughter in the deep chocolate pools.   Not now, though.  This was a different side of Richie, and the absolute solemnity in his eyes stirred her, as he waited for her reply.  What could she tell him?

“Sunshine?”

In the end, the only words she could push past her lips were the bare naked truth. 

“Because I love you.”