Chapter 56

Pausing in the foyer for one last deep breath gave Allegra the fortitude to enter the living room with an outwardly casual smile.  “I finally made it,” she announced.

“Frannie dear, it’s so nice to see you,” Carol welcomed her with light embrace and peck on the cheek, before allowing John a turn.  He smiled affectionately at his favorite niece as he released her to her parents.

“Mama,” Allegra greeted her mother with a perfunctory hug until she could decipher the proverbial lay of the land. 

“Hello, sweetheart.”  The words and actions were perfectly appropriate, but the attitude behind them was a little cool.

“Daddy.”  She rose on her toes to kiss his face, smiling when he grasped her in a tight bear hug.

“Frannie!  I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve seen you.  How are you girl?”

At least her father wasn’t still harboring a grudge – that she could tell.

“I’m doing well,” she told him, offering Dot a slight wave and a smile, to which Dot lifted her wineglass in silent greeting.  “But I’d be doing even better a glass of wine.  Can I get anyone else a drink?”  It certainly wouldn’t hurt to soothe her nerves a bit more, and Allegra bee lined for the open wine bottle sitting atop the bar on the far wall. 

“I’d like a glass of wine, if you don’t mind,” Carol requested.

“Of course I don’t mind.  Red or white?”

“Red , please.”

“Mama, Daddy?  Can I get you anything?” she inquired after passing Carol’s drink to her and pouring her own full glass of Merlot.

Both requested white wine, which she dutifully provided. 

Once everyone had their drinks, the atmosphere turned awkward, and an uncomfortable silence blanketed the room.  Allegra’s eyes shifted to Dorothea with a raise of her eyebrows, mutely asking what to do.  She had no idea what, if anything, was expected of her right now.  Was there really an agenda here, or was she creating unnecessary drama?

Thankfully, Sophia broke the stillness with her presence in the doorway, quietly pronouncing that dinner was ready to be served.

Filing into the dining room, Dorothea graciously offered John the seat at the head of the table.  Carol sat to his left, while Therese and Michael sat to his right.  Dot assumed the chair next to Carol, and Allegra appropriated the spot next to her father.  That left a few chairs still empty.

“Where are the kids?” Allegra asked curiously.

“They’re giving me a much needed break,” Dorothea informed the group dryly.  “Jakey and Ro still haven’t wound down from Las Vegas yet, so Steph and Jess are eating pizza with them in the playroom.  They’ll join us for dessert.”

Sophia unobtrusively served their plates of roast beef, baby carrots, roasted potatoes and snow peas while the two older couples chatted amongst themselves.  She only quietly dismissed herself upon the assurance that everything was perfect and they would call if they needed her.

“Frannie, I understand you’ve been having some adventures with my boys,” John attempted to involve her in the discussion.

“She’s going by Allegra nowadays, John,” Dot quietly corrected him.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey.  I didn’t know.”  He cleared his throat, unsure whether to ask for details.  In the end, he elected to move on.   “So, what did you think of life on the road?”

“Well, Hawaii was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!  I watched the sunrise every morning, and it’s something I’ll never forget.  I hope to get back there some day.”  She smiled at the table’s occupants, noting that her mother never looked up from her plate.  With a mental sigh, she addressed her uncle again. “Seattle and Las Vegas were both incredible in their own ways, too.”

“Now, weren’t you supposed to be doing some cooking for them?”  Carol inquired.

Throwing Dorothea a dirty look when she snickered, Allegra fumbled for a way to explain.  “Well… um…  Yes I did cook for them a couple of times.  Until we decided that it probably wasn’t the best idea.”

“She set the baked spaghetti on fire,” Dot interjected bluntly.

“We decided that I might be better with people instead of food,” Allegra corrected with a glare.  “I got to see what Tony does, and work with Matt some, see a little of the business side of Bon Jovi.”

“And what did you think of that?”  John asked.

“I developed an incredible amount of respect for your sons,” she told him.  “I know I’m proud to be their cousin, so I can’t imagine how proud YOU must be of them.”

“It must be nice to be proud of your children’s accomplishments,” her mother murmured quietly.

Allegra dismissed the comment from her mind, and continued singing the praises of the Bongiovi boys.  Each are amazing in their own fields.  Matt has stepped admirably into Aunt Carol’s shoes with the fan club, and Tony’s video productions are exceptional.  And Jon…   Well, Mein Fuhrer has everything  and every-ONE under control,” she said with a laugh and a roll of her eyes.

“You shouldn’t talk that way about Jonny,” her mother scolded.  “He agreed to support this ridiculous notion of yours, so you show some respect!”

“Therese,” her father warned.

Allegra held up her hand to silence him.  “No, it’s okay Daddy.  Mama obviously has something she wants to say to me, and I’d rather clear the air now than later.”  She leaned forward so that she could plainly see her mother’s face.  “Go ahead, Mama.”

“It’s nothing.”  The older version of Allegra was deliberately engrossed in her linen napkin.

“Obviously it’s something, or you wouldn’t have taken two pot shots at me in the space of a minute.”

Therese threw the napkin down on the table and spun on her daughter.  “Don’t you talk to you mother that way!”

“Now, Therese,” her husband soothed, patting her hand.  “There’s no reason to work yourself into a tizzy.”  He turned back to his daughter.  “Allegra, this has gone on long enough.  Your mother just wants to understand why you’re here now instead of following your calling.  She deserves an explanation.”

The scooting of a chair drew their attention as Carol started to rise.  “We’ll just leave you to talk, then.”

With a casual wave and shake of her head, Allegra invited her to stay.  “There’s no reason to go anywhere, Aunt Carol.  I guess you’re curious too, and it would be easier to do this just once.”

She could see that her mother was puffed up and pouting, which made Allegra sigh.  Damn pouty Bongiovis.

“Okay, Mama.  What do you want to hear?”

“What do I WANT to hear?  I WANT to hear that you’re going back to the cloister.  That you’re going to heed your calling and take your solemn vows!”  She sniffed derisively.   “But I don’t suppose that’s what you’re going to tell me, is it?”

From pouting to fire mad just that fast.  Damn Bongiovi temper. 

She struggled to keep her voice calm and level as she destroyed her mother’s hopes.  “No.  That’s not what I’m going to tell you.”

Michael placed a calming hand on his wife’s shoulder before she could launch into another tirade.  “I think your mother would like to know what prompted you to reevaluate your life to such a severe degree.  Why did you walk away from your life’s work and calling on a whim?”

It appeared that her father wasn’t quite as ‘over it’ as she’d initially believed.

“You know, Daddy, I’m not a flighty young woman who makes a dramatic life change on a ‘whim’.   I’ve come to terms with the situation and am finally ready to share what happened, but I would’ve hoped you had a little more confidence in me than that.”

If they don’t accept it, that’s on them.  You did what’s right.

Jon’s voice echoed in her head, and she smiled gratefully at her cousin-in-law, knowing she was responsible for his call.  Dot returned the smile, albeit with a touch of confusion on her face.

With Dorothea’s smile and Jon’s words shoring up her resolve, Allegra let her eyes drift closed for a moment, mentally conjuring Tessa’s face.  Her heart clenched, and she offered up yet another silent prayer of apology before she began to speak.

“There was a young girl who was brought to the orphanage…”

The entire story didn’t take more than twenty minutes, and Allegra managed to hold herself together throughout the tale.  It was an impressive feat, considering the gasps of shock and sympathetic looks from Dorothea and the Bongiovis.  The elder Castanelli’s faces remained impassive, even as Tessa’s ultimate demise was disclosed.

She reached for her cross and stroked it absently, waiting.

And, as usual, it was Dot that she could count on.  “Oh, Allegra,” she sympathized.  “I’m so, so sorry.  Jon told me, but hearing you tell it just breaks my heart all over again.”    

She grasped her hand across the table, giving it an appreciative squeeze.

And still she waited.

Finally realizing that her parents weren’t going to immediately crush her to their bosoms in apology, Allegra chose to break the quiet by addressing them directly.

“I see my explanation doesn’t do anything to change your feelings,” she observed with resignation.    Honestly, she was disappointed.  Having finally explained her reasons, Allegra had foolishly assumed her parents would be supportive.

“It’s not your place to question God and His ways,” her father stated quietly.

Really?  She bit back her temper as best she could, but couldn’t completely contain it.

“Daddy, I never wanted to be put in a position to HAVE to question His ways!”  Why couldn’t they understand she wasn’t turning her back on GOD but the mere mortals trying to carry out his work?

As though she were psychic, her mother felt the need to defend the Church disciples.  “The Bishop did what he thought was best.”

Letting her frustration get the best of her, Allegra’s words came out more loudly than she intended, but she couldn’t control them at this point.  “I can appreciate that Mama, but I don’t agree with how he handled the situation.  At all!  You act as though this is something I did lightly and without thought!  Well, trust me, a lot of thought took place before I decided to subject my ENTIRE LIFE to upheaval!   Don’t you understand that, without faith in its leadership, I would be more of a hindrance than a help to the Church?  I can NOT represent an institution that fails an innocent child so completely, while I’m forced to helplessly stand by and watch.”  The volume of her voice dropped to a resigned whisper. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t. “

Her gaze shifted back and forth between the man and woman who had given her life, raised her in a household of love, shaped her morals, and taught her right from wrong.  They’d made her what she was. Why couldn’t they comprehend it?  Just a little bit? 

Well, they HAD to.  If she had to talk until she was blue in the face, they would at least tolerate it without looking as there was a bad odor in the room.

Determination lit her gaze and colored her tone.  “And I’m sorry you can’t find it in your heart to accept that, or at least to see the silver lining of this dark cloud of disappointment.  Did you consider that, maybe, THIS is God’s will?  I still love my fellow man, and have an undeniable yearning to help ease his pain and lift him up when I can.  God has blessed me with a job allowing me to help people start a new life – and it feels good!  It’s something I can believe in.”

Surprise was evident on the faces of all of the parental figures at the table, but Carol was the one to comment.  “I didn’t realize you’d found something, dear.”

Tearing her eyes away from her parents, Allegra offered her a small smile.  “Yes.  I’m working for the Soul Foundation.  I review the housing applications and interview potential candidates.  They’re sending me out to do some type of field work next week, as a new project.  I’m comfortable there, and it’s a good fit.”

Therese chose to focus on her place of employment instead of the work she was doing.  “So Jon gave you a job – again.”

The condescending tone was all she could take.  Allegra’s share of the Bongiovi temper went through the roof.  Before she could spout off anything that she’d regret later, Dorothea reached across the table with a shake of her head, and squeezed her hand supportively.

Dot’s tone was cool when she informed them, “Actually, Therese, Jon just found out about it yesterday.  Allegra got the interview and the job on her own merit.  And, as a matter of fact, she took extra care in making sure Jon knew nothing about it – to the point of asking her boss, me, and his best friend not to mention it to him until she’d had the opportunity to prove herself.”  She gave Allegra a proud smile.  “Which she’s done.”

Michael looked at his daughter in surprise, and then studied her face, as though seeing her for the first time.  “You did that on your own?  With no work experience, you went out and got a job by yourself?”

A glimmer of hope shot through her.  Was THIS going to be what finally got through to them? 

“Well, not entirely by myself.  Stephanie and Dot helped me figure out which door to knock on, but other than that, yes.”

As her father looked at her mother with a lift of his eyebrows, she could see that both of her parents were reconsidering the sturdiness of their soapbox.

And then, John – bless his heart – practically shamed them into retreat.  “I know how proud I am of my boys.  They’re good, strong men and I like to think we raised them right.  But when I see the backbone and integrity of this beautiful girl sitting right here in front of me?  Well, I’d be proud to claim her as the daughter I never had.  Damn proud.”  He gave his sister a pointed look.  “Your time for raising her is long since done, Therese.  Now, it’s time to sit back and admire what you’ve accomplished.  You done good.”

With a sniff, her mother inclined her head in acknowledgement before speaking directly to Allegra.  “We shouldn’t wait so long to see you next time.  You’ll come for dinner on Friday.”

Her father gently patted her leg.  “Yes, on Friday.  You’ll tell us more about your job and the adventures you’ve been having.”

Allegra nodded, her fingers creeping up to lightly touch the cross at her throat once again, with a silent prayer of thanks.   “I’d like that.”