Fifty-One

Concert stops in Boston and Philly this week, but I'll try and have another chapter up this weekend.  Thank you soooo much for your patience as I chase my muse around the country! :D

Taking care not to wake her, he moved an errant lock of hair of hair away from her eyes.  The rays of light peeking in around the blackout curtains allowed him to make out her features as she lie on her back next to him, softly snuffling, and he took the time to burn the image into his mind.  He didn’t know when they would see each other again, and this was going to have to last until whenever that was. 

Richie couldn’t say why he was awake at this ungodly hour.  Especially after the long night they’d spent – making love.  The corner of his mouth lifted, revealing the dimple in his left cheek.   She didn’t say the words – and neither did he, of course – but wondered how hard she had fought not to.  Unless something crazy happened, he knew it was just a matter of time. 

For him, emotions were the least of his problems when it came to relationships.  He got sucked into emotions pretty easily, which was unfortunate since they could be so superficial.     For once in his life, he was analyzing the practical side of things.  He needed some substance behind the emotion, and a big question for him had been whether she would fit into his day to day world.  

He was happy to find out that it looked promising, if the afterparty last night was any indication.  Allegra was right in believing that he’d left her on her own for a reason.  As much as he sometimes dreaded them, social events were a frequent and necessary part of his life, and anyone he expected to be with on a long-term basis needed to be able to weather them with grace and style. 

She’d done it in spades.

He’d watched her out of the corner of his eye all night to gauge her progress around the room, curious as to how she would handle herself.  It helped that she wasn’t fazed by the wealth and fame of the partygoers, even if it was just because she didn’t know who they were.  That allowed her to be simply Allegra – and she was thoughtful and charming with each person she encountered.  Well, with the exception of Criss. 

He grinned, remembering his conversation with the magician.

“If you don’t do everything in your power to keep that woman happy, you’ve smoked one too many joints in your rock-n-roll life,” he’d appeared and announced without fanfare.

“Hey, man, what’s up?”  Richie had greeted him.

Criss clasped Richie’s outstretched hand with an envious smile.  “Seriously.  She threatened to dismember me and I fell in love.  One false move and you can kiss your ass goodbye.  She’ll be mine.”

“Good luck with that, motherfucker, because I’m not letting her out of my sight.”  The tone was light, but the words couldn’t have been any more sincere.  Criss had gone on to enlighten him about Allegra’s reaction to Nikki and her refusal to play the jealousy game.  That had been like a soothing balm to his soul, and he’d come away from the encounter feeling even better about the place she could make for herself in his life.

Now if only things would smooth out with Jon so that she could feel comfortable in his personal/professional life.  Looking at the bedside clock, he saw that it was a little after nine.  Early by Vegas standards, but not by Jon’s. 

He very carefully eased out of the bed, relieved that she didn’t stir at his absence on the mattress with her.  Grabbing his phone, he stepped into the living room and hit the second number on his Favorites list.

“What the fuck are you doing up so early?” was the greeting he received.

“Mornin’ to you too,” he chuckled.  “I couldn’t sleep, so I was watching Allegra and my mind started spinning.”

“Yeah?  Are you getting married for real this time?”

“No, smartass.  I want you to tell me why she’s so pissed at you.”

“Not now, man.  When you come for brunch, we’ll talk.”

“That’s another reason I called.  Allegra said no.”

Jon swore quietly under his breath.  “Convince her.  Please?”

♥♥ ♫ ♥♥

Allegra was resigned to being polite, begrudgingly so, as they waited for an answer at the door of the Bongiovi suite.  She still didn’t want to do this, but Richie had been very… persuasive.  He’d woken her up in a most pleasant way, and waited until she was on the edge of satisfaction to bring up the subject of brunch again.  She would’ve done anything he’d wanted at that point, but she was going to have to remember how sneaky he could be…

A genuine smile claimed her features as Dot’s face greeted them in the open doorway.  Stepping into the suite, she embraced her with a warm hug.  It had happened so gradually, she almost hadn’t realized it, but Dorothea had become her best friend in these last weeks.  “Hey, I missed you at the after party last night.”

“Romeo wasn’t feeling well, so I wanted to be nearby in case he needed me,” she explained.

“That’s Mama D for you,” Richie said with his own hug of greeting almost lifting her off of the floor.

“Let me loose, you big oaf.”

“You’re just afraid he’ll get jealous.”

“Ha!  He knows if I’d wanted you, I would’ve had you years ago.  Consider yourself lucky that Allegra’s putting up with you and your crazy sense of humor.”

Slipping his arm around Allegra’s waist and hauling her close, he assured Dorothea, “Oh, I know just how lucky I am.  Especially since your damn husband keeps trying to drive her away.”

“I’m trying to drive her away, huh?  Like she wants to follow your sorry ass around all the time,” Jon said, brushing her cheek with his lips and shaking Richie’s hand. 

Polite, idle chitchat was the order of the day, and they talked about nothing while they filled their plates.  During the meal,  Allegra involved herself in a conversation with Dot, leaving the men to talk about the upcoming Denver show.   It was the easiest way to avoid talking to Jon.

They were still deeply involved in talking about the kids’ activities during the stay in Vegas, when Jon’s voice escalated in volume, obviously wanting the attention of the entire table.

“Rich, man, I’ve got something I need to tell you, since I don’t guess Allegra’s going to do it.  It’s been eating at me, and I’m not going to feel better until – “

“Don’t you dare!”  Allegra interrupted, pointing her finger across the table at him, and all heads pivoted toward her in shock.  “Not a word!”

“Allegra, there’s no reason to try and protect me.  I know he’s going to be pissed, and he has every right.  Let us work it out.”

She swept the napkin from her lap and threw it on the table, nearly toppling the chair in her haste to stand.  “Jon.  Bedroom.  Now!”  She didn’t wait, assuming that he was smart enough to follow, and could hear him excuse himself and whirled on him as soon as the door clicked shut.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.

“We need to get this out in the open.”  He propped himself against the closed door, arms crossed over his chest, biceps bulging under his short sleeved t-shirt.

“This isn’t a confessional, Jon.  You can’t confess your sins, do penance and sweep it all under the rug.  It doesn’t have anything to do with how YOU feel, you arrogant SOB!  I don’t care WHAT’S been eating at you, you won’t put him in the middle of this, do you hear me?” she hissed.

♥♥ ♫ ♥♥

Richie popped a bite of bagel in his mouth.  “Will they kill each other or kiss and make up?” he asked Dorothea curiously.

“All I can say is that if he wants to kiss and make up, he’d better have something spectacular up his sleeve.”

He raised his eyebrow.  “You say that as though you know what happened this weekend.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Dammit, D, tell me!”  He leaned forward in his chair, ready for someone to FINALLY tell him what was going on.  Playing it nonchalant was fine, but this was really starting to bug him.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and snorted.  “In your dreams, Sambora.  You think I want a double shot of Bongiovi temper?  Patience, my pet.  I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.”

♥♥ ♫ ♥♥

Jon was obviously taken aback, not only at the words, but the venom they were so liberally laced with. 

“You can’t unsay things once you realize you’ve screwed up, Jon!  The words can’t be erased!  They just keep playing in one continuous loop, and no matter how you try to justify them, they absolutely will not go away!  I won’t let you do that to him like you did me.”

“Dammit, what did I DO to you!?  I thought owning up to my stupidity with Richie would show that I was truly sorry.  For God’s sake, isn’t it enough that I’m willing to take whatever form of ass kicking he feels like dishing out?”

“So you were planning to tell him what we argued about, expecting that he’d blow up and then we’d all go on with our lives as usual?”

“Yes!  There’s no reason why that shouldn’t happen.”

“Well, let me just tell you how that little scenario would play out in the land of REALITY.  You’re going to tell him that you asked me to break it off with him.  He’s going to be:  FIRST, pissed at you.  SECOND, indignant on my behalf.  THEN he’s going to start to feel bad because he’s pissed at you, and realize that you’re only looking out for him because you love him.  THAT means that he’s torn between being the chivalrous boyfriend and defending my besmirched reputation as a heartless bitch, or whatever, and appreciating that you care that much.  So he’s stuck, being pulled between two people that he cares about.  Did any of that ever cross your mind?”

“No, but you don’t know that’s what would happen.  I’ve known him a hell of a lot longer than you have.”

His words cut her.  Count to ten, she told herself.  Get it together.  He thinks he’s being logical.

With a deep breath, she admitted, “Yes, you have.  But I’ve known YOU longer than he has.  And I thought you knew me.  You don’t understand why I’m so bent out of shape over it?  Well, let me explain it the only way I know how.”

Turning her back on him, she crossed to the window, staring blindly down the Strip.  Not wanting to seem like a ranting lunatic, she took the time for several deep breaths, and began quietly.  “Little Frannie believes in Santa Claus.  Why shouldn’t she?  He’s there every Christmas to make her fondest wish come true.  She knows that he’s like her guardian angel, watching over her all year to make sure she’s been a good girl.  He KNOWS her.  And because of that, all she has to do is ask, and he rewards her with that extra special gift on Christmas morning.  Sure, she knows that Santa visits all the other kids in the world, but it’s different.  Frannie knows that she’s his special girl.”

Circling the room restlessly, she went on. “Eventually, as all kids do, Frannie finds out that it’s all a lie.  There is no Santa.  He’s nothing but an illusion created by well-intentioned parents.  Yes, they love her, but they’re frantically juggling all the pieces of their life, trying to come up with a way to fit them all together and please everyone.  She and her special Christmas gift are but a tiny part of that.   That’s when Frannie realizes that there’s no one to fill that empty spot in her heart.  There’s no one that she knows her and cares about her like she thought Santa did.”  She stopped in front of him and met his eyes.  “You’re my Santa.  I get it now.  I’m only a small piece of your very crowded world, and I’m naïve for thinking that it was ever any different.  It’s a painful realization, but you move past it and grow up.”

“Is that what you think?  That our relationship isn’t special?”  He pulled her close and wrapped his arms tight.  When she remained stiff and unyielding, he murmured, “Just relax, and listen to me for once.”    He guided her to the bed and pulled the room’s lone chair to sit directly in front of her.

“Do you remember when you were, I don’t know, probably four?  I was just starting junior high, and we lived down the street from you and your parents?  Your house was right next to the school, and you’d wait by the window to wave at me every morning as I passed by.  Remember that?”

She nodded.  “I hated the weekends.  I never understood why you didn’t come by those days.  Mama must’ve explained it to me a thousand times, but I’d still go stand by the window and wait.”

He took her hands in his and loosely wove their fingers together.  “Then there was that one day when I didn’t see you in the window, because I had to be at school early.  Hell, I can’t even remember why.  I didn’t think too much of it, but you were beyond pissed.  Imagine that, huh?”  He nudged her with a soft laugh.

“The next thing I knew, you had managed to slip away from Aunt Therese, and showed up outside the school asking some of the guys where I was.  I came out and there you were, looking up at me with those blue eyes of yours.  They were absolutely HUGE in your tiny little face.”  Jon paused for a moment in his recollection, smiling fondly, and brushed her cheek with his thumb.

“Man, they gave me hell the way only teenage boys can.  ‘Johnny has a funny looking dog following him around.’  ‘He’s so ugly, the only girls he can get are in pre-school.’  What sticks with me the most is you getting sooo mad at one of them, that you yelled ‘Shut up!  Don’t be mean to Johnny!’ and shoved him flat on his ass.”   He shook his head with a chuckle, remembering.   “You’ve always fought like hell someone you love.”  He studied her solemnly, before asking, “You do love, him don’t you?”

“It’s none of your business,” she grumbled.

“Maybe not, but babydoll, that day outside the school you stole my heart in a way no one else has ever been able to.  You became MY Frannie and nobody was gonna mess with you and not answer to me.  That goes for Richie Sambora, too.”

“Then why did you make me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him?” she demanded.  “Like you thought I was going to use him and lose him?”

His expression was contrite, but he answered firmly.  “I mishandled the situation, plain and simple.  You deserved more of an explanation of where my thoughts were before I dropped that in your lap.”

Fiddling with her hand again, he searched for the best way to explain.  “Sweetheart, I wasn’t asking you to step aside because I cared about him more, or because I thought you were going to hurt him.  Honestly, I didn’t even consider that I was asking you to step aside at all.  In my head, you were the person I trusted enough to ask for a huge, unreasonable favor:  to help me keep my best friend safe from himself.  If I’d taken the time to think about it rationally instead of just freaking out, I may have realized you might be good for him.  But you know me, I don’t always consider anyone but myself.”

“Please forgive me?” 

Jon was wearing the pleading puppy dog look on his face that millions of women had fallen for over the years.  The difference was, this time, there wasn’t a trace of playfulness in the depths of his blue eyes, and the trademark smile was nowhere to be found.  Allegra knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he couldn’t be any more sincere.

Grateful to relieve the ache in her heart, she nodded, saying with a smile, “But you have to stop being an idiot, Jon.  I don’t know how much more of it I can take.”

Laughing, he rose to his feet,  and pulled her along with him into a bear hug.  Reluctant to let her go, his arms remained loosely around her, and they stood quietly together.  Eventually, she relaxed enough to lean into his body and rest her head on his shoulder.  She held him a little tighter and, in his presence anyway,  felt the tension leave her chest for the first time since… forever.

“I love you, Frannie.  As much as I love my wife and kids, I love you just as much.  Don’t ever doubt that.”

“I hope  you mean that, because I’ve got something to tell you…”