One Hundred Sixty-Five

Allegra took a deep breath as they pulled into the driveway of her parents’ home.  It was the same house it had always been, yet it looked strange to her.  Foreign.  She hadn’t been back here since the night she’d found out about her adoption.  

How many things had changed since then?  How many hurtful words had been hurled out in anger, unable to be recalled?  Had the bridges been burned beyond repair?  Would today’s visit mend the raw, tender place in her heart that still ached when she thought of those Jerry Springer-esque family events? 

The awful things her mother said may have been spurred on by alcohol, but that made them all the truer, in Allegra’s estimation.  The alcohol had just removed the barrier of good manners and decorum, allowing Therese to speak without fearing the subsequent criticism.

“Breathe, baby,” Richie murmured, his lips grazing her temple in a reassuring kiss.  “It will be different this time.”

Her eyes darted to his face, where a sympathetic smile turned up one corner of his mouth.    “What? You don’t think I know the last two episodes with your mom are playing in your head?  And that you wonder how much of it she really meant?”

No.  Honestly, she was amazed that he knew where her thoughts had drifted.

“How do you do that?”

“Your heart is part of mine,” he told her simply and sincerely, causing her eyes to mist at his intuition and understanding.  Gay Richie was in the house and he had her back. 

Then he put on a wicked grin and destroyed that notion.  “And you were mumbling to yourself.  I may not hear very well, but I can still sort of read lips, remember?”

With a disgusted huff and a roll of her eyes she stuck out her tongue, effectively distracted from her deep thoughts.  No doubt that was his plan all along.  Being a wise ass was a weird kind of sensitive, but he pulled it off well.  “Come on.  Let’s go in before you bowl me over with all your flowery words and compassion.”

“Hey.”  He grabbed her arm as the passenger door swung open, stopping her from leaving the car.  Looking at her over the top of his sunglasses, Richie said, “It’s gonna be okay.  I can feel it in my bones.”  He gave her ponytail a light tug.  “I love you,” he reminded her before pushing his sunglasses up on his nose and stealing her lips for a kiss.  His other hand snuck out to give her belly a quick rub.  “Both of you.”

Just when she was ready to blow him off as a goofball, he jumped back out of the closet.  Allegra slid her thumb affectionately across a cheek already bearing the first signs of five o’clock shadow.  “And I love you.  Thank you.”

They climbed the few steps of the stoop, Allegra’s foot hitting the landing about the same time her father swung the door wide.

“Allegra!”  She was immediately swept her into her father’s arms and crushed by the strength of his embrace.  “It’s good to see you, my girl,”  he said huskily, blinking back the emotion in his eyes.

“It’s good to see you too, Daddy.”

She cleared her throat in an attempt to dislodge the lump that had formed the instant she saw Michael.  No matter what it took, she vowed, they would make this work, blinking her eyes much as he was.  She didn’t want to go this long without seeing her parents again.

“Michael.”  Richie right hand reached out for a handshake as his left settled in the small of Allegra’s back.

“Richie,” the older man greeted with a smile.  “It’s good to see you too, son.  Thank you for taking care of our girl through this… difficult time.”

“I feel privileged that she allowed me to,” Richie chuckled.  “With that independent streak of hers, you just never  know.”

Michael joined in the laughter as Allegra touched her elbow to Richie’s ribs with a mock scowl.  “Hey!  I’m getting better.”

“Every day, baby,” he agreed, bussing her cheek.

“Michael, invite them in for Heaven’s sake!”  Therese’s voice came from inside the house.  “Don’t stand on the stoop in this heat.  Come in where it’s cool!”

The tears that had threatened when Allegra saw her father, pooled immediately upon hearing her mother’s voice.  She looked at her father, who nodded encouragingly.  “She’s right.  It has definitely reached the dog days of summer.  You two come, sit and have something to drink.”

He stepped up onto the threshold, holding the glass storm door open behind him.

Allegra remained stock still, sniffling in an effort to push down her emotions.

Damn hormones.

“It’s okay, baby.  Have faith.” Richie whispered in her ear as he topped the last step to stand alongside her.  “No matter what, I’ll be right here.”

Those were the words she needed to spur her into the house, and with a single nod, she trailed her father into the foyer.  Therese was there waiting, completely relaxed to the casual observer.  It was only the repetitive wringing of her hands that gave away the anxiety she was trying to hide.

“Mama.”

“Allegra, you look radiant,” Therese greeted with an over-bright smile, hands stilling as she faltered her words.  “May I…?”  Hesitant arms opened to silently communicate her wish for a hug.

If Allegra had thought seeing her father was emotional, seeing her mother was ten times more so. 

“Of course you can.”  She couldn’t suppress the tears that sprang forth as she stepped into Therese’s outstretched arms. 

There was a strangled sob from her mother and she clung to Allegra’s shoulders, rocking her back and forth, saying over and over again, “Baby, I’m so sorry.  So, so sorry.”

Michael sniffed loudly and cleared his throat, turning to Richie.  “Would you like something to drink Richie?  Water, soda?”

“It’s okay, Mama.  It’s behind us now,” Richie heard Allegra murmuring and felt a tug at his own emotions for the two women.  They could probably use a minute alone.

“That would be great Michael.  Let me help you.”  The men retreated toward the kitchen, leaving mother and daughter wrapped up in one another, letting the tears heal them both.

Allegra didn’t realize that Richie and her father had left them until several minutes later, when Therese finally relinquished her hold, dabbing at the tears and saying, “Well, we shouldn’t stand here in the foyer all day.  Why don’t we go have a seat in the living room, where we can talk?”

Not even knowing what their conversation would bring, Allegra’s heart felt lighter.  This was the woman she’d spent her life knowing.  Whatever she had to say, Allegra knew her mother was herself once again. 

They settled on the sofa, and were joined shortly by the men.  Richie claimed the armchair at Allegra’s end of the couch, offering her a glass.  “Lemonade, baby?”

“Thank you.”  Her smile was appreciative, but she placed the glass immediately on the table and reached to twine her fingers in his.  She absently wondered if there would ever be a time that she wasn’t greedy for his touch.  He may not realize it, but this abstinence was taking a toll on her too.

Michael went through the same motions at the other end of the sofa, but Therese sipped her lemonade before carefully positioning it on a coaster.  “Young man,” she addressed Richie, rising to her feet and leaning toward him with an outstretched hand.  “I feel as though I should introduce myself.  I’m Therese Castanelli.  Allegra’s mother and absolutely no relation to that woman you may remember from a couple of other occasions.”

Richie laughed easily, bringing the older woman’s hand up for a chivalrous kiss.  “Richie Sambora.  It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Castanelli.  I’ve heard good things about you.”

Therese blushed prettily and resumed her seat.  “And I you, Mr. Sambora.  Thank you for…  well, just thank you.  And you must call me Therese.  Or Mama, considering you’ll soon be part of the family.  Contrary to what I’ve said in the past, I’m quite happy about that, by the way.”

“As am I, Therese,” Richie assured her, tossing Allegra an affectionate wink.  “And please call me Richie.  I’m grateful that your daughter has seen fit to grace the rest of my life with her presence.”

“Yes.  Well.”  She fidgeted on her cushion, eyes darting around uncomfortably.  “I can see why she would.  You’re quite the charmer.”

“I can be,” he admitted.  “But just so you know, I have no interest in charming anyone but her.  Whatever you’ve heard about the rock-star stereotype fit me to a tee at one point, but not anymore.  I’ve matured considerably in the last twenty years, and I thank God every day for bringing Allegra into my life.  She’s what I’ve been waiting for, and I will never do anything to shame or embarrass her.”

Allegra reached over and gave his knee a squeeze, appreciating his efforts to assure her mother.  It was just another example of what a good guy he was.  She should be the one that was thanking God.

Therese scoffed indelicately.  “Unlike her mother, you mean?”  When Richie opened his mouth to protest her interpretation, she held up a hand for silence and shook her head.  “Richie, while I appreciate the effort, if anyone needs to defend their past behavior here, it’s me.”

“Mama,” Allegra chided softly.  She didn’t want to rehash old news and dredge up bad feelings.  Not when things finally felt right.

“No, Allegra.”  Therese straightened her spine and met her daughter’s eyes with purpose as Michael clasped her hand in a show of support.  “Part of my…  rehabilitation is to make amends for past mistakes.  I owe you both apologies and an explanation.  I’d like to do that so, hopefully, we can move past my inexcusable behavior.”

She trained her eyes on Richie.  “I’m sorry for making assumptions about you and your character without having taken the opportunity to know you.  I should have trusted my daughter’s judgment rather than making my own unfounded one.  You’ve shown time and again that you have nothing but Allegra’s well-being at heart, and no mother could ask for anything more.  If you have enough gumption to go toe-to-toe with me, then I have no worries about you protecting her from the rest of the world.”

For the first time her eyes slid from his and moved to her daughter.  “I hope you can forgive me, even if it’s just for Allegra’s sake.”

“Absolutely,” was his immediate response.  “As long as you do right by Allegra, you and I are good.  I’ve been on the other side of this conversation, and I know it’s not an easy position to be in.  You have my respect for following through with the hardest part of rehab.  Now, I can’t guarantee we won’t have words again,” he warned her with a grin.  “I’m pretty protective of my girls.  But that’s par for the course, I suppose.”

Therese’s shoulders relaxed marginally, and she allowed her lips to curl in the semblance of a smile as her eyes slid to Allegra’s tummy, camouflaged by a loose fitting blouse.  “I suppose it is.  Thank you.”

He nodded, noting Therese’s line of sight. 

“You really do have a glow,” she told Allegra thoughtfully.  “Pregnancy agrees with you.”

“Mama-“

“The things I’ve said are inexcusable,” Therese interrupted.  “My only explanation is that I was grieving – grieving for the sister I’d lost and the woman I thought she’d want her daughter to be.  I thought I was doing the right thing encouraging you to follow in her footsteps, but when you left the cloister…  Well, I was devastated because I thought Frannie would be disappointed.  That I hadn’t raised her child in the way that would honor her.  So I drank to ease the devastation – only it didn’t ease.  I merely grew angry.” 

Delicately veined hands clenched tightly together in her lap, drawing her undivided attention so that she didn’t have to look at Allegra or Richie.

“Then when I found out you were pregnant,  after being raped no less…”  She clamped down on her trembling lips, inhaling a big breath for fortification.  “I felt even more like a failure.  Then all I could see was you dying in childbirth just like your mother had, leaving another child behind for me to screw up.” 

“Oh, Mama, that’s not going to happen!”

Her mother laughed without humor.  “Maybe not, but I couldn’t help thinking it.  The alcohol caused me to lash out and say things I shouldn’t have been thinking, much less voiced.  I’m so very sorry.”  She lifted her face, looking between Allegra and Richie.  “The baby’s father…  Do you know…?”

“The baby is mine,” Richie stated conclusively, darting a glance at his fiancée that she correctly interpreted.  He didn’t want her mentioning the lack of medical documentation, and she briefly considered telling her mother, but Allegra ultimately decided to heed his wishes and let it go.  Her mother was dealing with enough.  She didn’t need the additional uncertainty.

The older woman lifted a hand to her chest, the tears escaping to trail down her cheeks.  “Thank God,” she breathed, nodding her thanks at Michael when he offered her a handkerchief.

“Your mother has been beside herself, afraid you wouldn’t forgive her for the hurtful things she’s said, Allegra.”

“Of course I forgive her, now that I understand.”  She scooted close to her mother on the sofa, and wrapped her in a hug.  “I want us to be the way we used to be.  I want Faith to know her grandmother for the loving, supportive woman she’s always been.  Can you accept my life the way it is and be happy for us now?”

Disengaging herself from Allegra’s arms, Therese mopped at her eyes and sniffled.  “Yes, I can.  I see how happy you are, and now understand it’s all that’s truly important.”  She sniffed again, the shadow of a smile tipping up her mouth.  “Your father told me her name is Faith Aurora.  It’s lovely.”

Allegra rolled her eyes at Richie and laughed.  “We’re not so sure about the Aurora part anymore,” she said, going on to explain the concern.  “She will definitely be Faith, but the middle name is still up in the air.”

“What about Francis?”  Therese suggested.  “I’d like you to keep a connection to your biological parents, and you’ll likely never know who your father is.”

“Um, we’ll keep it on the list,” Allegra said, avoiding Richie’s eyes.  Now was not the time to open that can of worms.  “We’ve thought about hyphenating it to Aurora-Dawn.  Cecilia is also on the list, as the patron saint of musicians.  Right now, she gets called Bug more than anything.”

She went on to explain that story, and the group chatted awhile, with her parents asking about living arrangements, Ava and wedding plans.

“A Hawaiian sunrise wedding sounds beautiful,” Therese remarked.  “It’s your day and should be exactly what your dreams are made of, although I do think you’re wise to keep it intimate, considering Richie’s celebrity.”

Seeing the wistful look on her mother’s face, Allegra now regretted excluding their parents from the ceremony.  She was their only child and she was going to exclude them from her wedding.  Making it easier on herself no longer felt like the right thing to do.

Richie’s hand slipped around her neck, squeezing gently until she looked at him.  He silently communicated that he knew where her mind was and offered his encouragement.

“Are you sure?”  she asked softly.

“I’m sure I want you to be happy, so yes.  Absolutely.”

She launched herself at him, hugging him with all her strength.  “Just so I know we’re on the same page,” she whispered, “I want to my parents to come to Hawaii for the wedding.  Can we pay for the plane tickets and hotel?”

Richie’s voice rumbled, his lips directly in her ear.  “Hearing you say ‘we’ when it comes to money makes me wanna buy them their own plane and hotel.  Yes.  We’ll load everybody up on the jet and sleeping arrangements won’t be a problem.”

With another hug and wide grin, she cupped his face and kissed him soundly on the mouth.  “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he chuckled.  “Now tell your parents why we were whispering so rudely.”

Michael and Therese were watching them with amused patience, and Allegra turned to them, eyes twinkling.

“So…  would you like to spend Labor Day weekend in Hawaii?”