Eighty-Three

Ava bounced down the steps with an exuberant energy possessed only by the young, overnight bag slung over her shoulder.  Coming to a halt on the landing, she noticed Allegra standing near the front door and approached, scuffing her toes along the marble tile. 

“Hi Allegra.  How was your trip?” 

Allegra smiled inwardly at the young girl’s polite inquiry.  From everything she’d witnessed, Ava was a thoughtful and polite young lady, and Richie had every right to be proud of her.   “It was good, thank you.  I understand you’re going skiing tomorrow?  That sounds like fun!”

The teenager wanted to be blasé, but pleasure curled up the corners of her mouth.  “Yeah, it’ll be okay.  What are Mom and Dad doing?”  Her eyes darted curiously to the living room, from which their low voices could be heard.

“I’m not sure.”  Allegra fought to stuff down her temper at the reminder of what she’d just been subjected to.  “But I don’t want him to feel rushed, so would you let your dad know I’ll be waiting in the car?”

Ava looked hesitantly back and forth between the living room and Allegra, uncertainty pasted on her young features.  “Um, how about I come with you?  Just a second, and I’ll say bye to my mom.”

“Oh, no honey, that’s not necessary.  I need to call and check on my parents anyway,” she fibbed, “so I’ll just go out and do that now while I’m waiting.”

“Well, I think I’ll tag along anyway if you don’t care.  Mom and Dad are probably talking about my school or something boring that I don’t care about.  I’ll be right back.”

True to her word, she returned in a moment’s time, circling around Allegra to pull open the door. 

♫♥♫

The heavy thud of the front door, combined with Heather’s slight hand on his thigh, brought Richie out of his fog. 

What the hell have I done?  Allegra’s going to have my head on a platter, and I can’t say that I blame her.  I do, however, blame Heather.

Mentally surveying the situation, he noted that his ex-wife knelt on the sofa next to him, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his thigh.  It placed her face inches from his own, and he closed his eyes in self-loathing.  Richie couldn’t explain how he’d come to find himself in this position, but he was not pleased by it in the least.  Exasperation colored his voice when he asked, “What are you doing, Heather?”

“I told you.  They raised Ava’s school tuition for next year.  I think it’s just ridiculous how much they’re trying to gouge us for, when the school isn’t that good.  There are other schools that we should consider.”  Her guileless blue eyes and huff of indignation should’ve convinced him of her sincerity, but she wasn’t that good of an actress.

“That’s a load of crap.  You were trying to create some illusion of ownership in front of my girlfriend.”  Anger started to mount as the picture came in focus, and he sprang to his feet.  “You wore that… THAT.”  A sweep of his hand indicated her flowing black sundress.  “Knowing exactly how it would affect me.  Well, dammit Heather, I’m not your husband anymore,” he reminded her.  “YOU filed the divorce papers and moved on with your life, so let me move on with mine.”

The barest hint of a flush crept into her cheeks, and it was all the confirmation he needed.  The only thing in question now was her motive.  They’d been divorced for almost three years, and this was the first instance of this bitchy behavior.  On a normal, everyday basis, they got along quite well – casual, yet friendly, which suited him just fine.  There were fewer waves in the parenting pool that way. 

So why the big change?

“You didn’t pull this with Denise or Jen, so why now?  Why with Allegra?”

Her chin tilted upward and her back pressed into the sofa, defiance written all over her.  Richie knew that the next words out of her mouth weren’t worth the air she was going to waste.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

All those years together taught me at least a couple of things.

“You want me to tell you what I think?”  Richie pointed his finger at her with narrowed eyes.  “I think that you’re intimidated by her.”  He straightened his spine with a firm nod.  “She’s a real woman, not some LA prototype.  She has real ideals and beliefs, the likes of which Hollywood doesn’t want to be associated with.  You’re afraid she’s exactly what I’ve always needed.”

Her face contorted into a scowl, even as her eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere at him, and he knew he’d hit a nerve.  “Why in the world would I be intimidated by HER?” she spluttered.  “I don’t care what you sleep with, as long as you’re discreet around our daughter.”

WHAT I sleep with?

Calling on every last ounce of restraint that he possessed, Richie quietly bit out, “I can’t talk to you right now without absolutely going ballistic, but let me say just one thing...  Don’t you EVER disrespect her like that again!  Do you hear me?”

Heather’s gaze clashed with his.  A maelstrom was brewing in her eyes, but she didn’t offer any gesture of either confirmation or denial. 

“I mean it, Heather.”

Eyes dropped to her hands, and she developed a sudden interest in her manicure.  “I have no reason for wanting to talk about her at all,” she informed him disinterestedly.

With a growl of infuriation, he turned on his heel, heavy footfalls echoing loudly on the tile floor.  “We spent two years trying to get Ava into THIS school, because it was the best.  Send the damn tuition bill to my accountant – just like you always do,” he threw back before stalking out the door.

♫♥♫

Allegra pointedly ignored Richie when he got in the car, masking the fact by chatting with Ava about plans for the evening.  They were debating on whether to watch a movie at the house, or go to the mall when Richie interjected his two cents.

“How about I cook?”

The look of immediate confusion on Ava’s face drew a chuckle from Allegra.  Richie had no chance of pretending to be a culinary wizard with his daughter there to shatter the illusion.

“Stop that.  I can cook!”

“Um, okay Dad.  Whatever you say.  I was hoping for something besides scrambled eggs though – in case you were wondering.”  She rolled her eyes and stuffed her headphones in her ears, turning her attention to the passing traffic.

“CAN you cook?”  The question was light, and her line of vision followed Ava’s out the car window.

“I can grill.  I was thinking steaks or chicken.”  He scooted close and put his arm around her shoulders.  “How does that sound?”

“I’m not feeling very cuddly right now,” she informed him in low tones, squirming away from the embrace.  Ava appeared to be engrossed in the sounds emanating from her phone, but it was better to be safe than sorry.  Allegra pasted on a fake smile.

“Oh God, it’s Jon’s press smile,” he tried to tease, but there was no humor lighting her eyes.  As a matter of fact, they frosted over with an extra coat of ice.  With a deep sigh, he murmured, “Sunshine, I’m sorry.”

“Stop right there,” she hissed quietly.  “You have one day with your daughter and I expect you to spend every possible minute enjoying her to the fullest.  Tomorrow will be soon enough to … Well, whatever.”

His voice was just as soft and urgent, when he wrapped her hand up in his.  “There’s no way I can enjoy anything knowing that you’re upset.  We’ll clear the air while she’s putting her things away.”

“I said no.”

“And I said yes.”

She jerked her hand free with a contemptuous scowl and look of amazement.  “Do you really think you’re in a position to order me around at the moment?”

“So if my opinion matters any, can you two just fight and get it over with?”  Ava’s calm voice interrupted what they’d believed to be an inconspicuous disagreement. 

Allegra automatically reapplied her full megawatt smile.  “We’re not going to fight, sweetheart.”

“No, we’re not,” Richie agreed, caressing his daughter’s long blonde tresses affectionately.  “We’re going to talk long enough to clear up a bit of confusion, like two rational adults.  Thank you, Baby Girl, for understanding.”

Allegra’s lips had parted to contradict him, when the car door swung open, causing her to jump.  Unbeknownst to her, they’d arrived in Laguna Beach while she and Richie were engrossed in their ‘discussion’.

Her eyes instantly surveyed the Spanish mission style mansion and grounds in its entire Hollywood splendor.   Well, that wasn’t exactly a fair assessment, she realized as soon as the thought imprinted itself on her mind.  It was a beautiful home without being fussy or over-the-top, and the landscaping complemented it perfectly.   She admired the rich colors in the Spanish tile and roofing that enhanced the warmth she could feel from the house.  

“I’ll just be in my room,” Ava said, crawling out of the other door.  “Call me when you’ve finished talking like rational adults.”

“Okay, honey,” Richie told her, Allegra in tow when he exited the car.  “We’ll be right in.”

But Allegra refused to budge more than a step away from the vehicle, forcibly freeing herself from his grip and crossing her arms over her chest.  Belligerent Bongiovi attitude bounced off of her in waves, but she didn’t care.

“Come sit down and talk to me for a minute?” he beseeched, gesturing toward one of the slatted teak benches that flanked the front entrance. 

“I can talk just fine from here.”

Allegra watched the muscle in his jaw tick at least five times before he heaved a sigh.  “Okay, have it your way.  Will it make you feel better to blast me first, or would you like me to jump right to the explanation?”

There was a hibiscus tree just past his shoulder that was starting to bloom.  The orange blossom was going to be vibrant, and a beautiful contrast to the creamy hue of the house’s exterior, in a lighter shade of the terra cotta shingles that graced its roofline.  Allegra was still absorbed with the flower when she flatly told him, “No wonder it took you so long to say the words.  It’s hard to be in love with two people at one time.”

His hands moved to cup her shoulders, but she shrugged him off yet again, and Richie settled for pushing them into his pants pockets.  “I’m not in love with her.”

“You could’ve fooled me.  The rest of the world faded away as soon as you set eyes on her.  You were following her around like a lost puppy.  But you know what?  That’s fine.”  Her eyebrows rose slightly and she tipped her head to the side while she shrugged.  “You love who you love.  I can accept that.”  She pinned him with the frozen depths of her irises.  “The real issue is my being completely shoved to the side and ignored.  It’s rude and I don’t appreciate it.  You would – and have – treated strangers better than that.  I’ve seen you!”

He stepped closer, with every intention of wrapping his arms around her, but she was still having no part of it.  Placing her palms flat on his chest, she kept him at arm’s length.  “I’ll leave after Ava heads out tomorrow.  I’ll go join my parents in Florida.  It will be nice to spend some more time with them.”

“Allegra, I love YOU.”

“You love to fuck me.  Even I know there’s a difference.”  She stopped to consider.  “Well, I don’t think you even love that anymore, since you WON’T.”

“Hey!”  His thumb and forefinger captured her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes.  “Don’t cheapen what we have!  I’ve tried my best to take care of you, including protecting you from something your body isn’t ready for.”

“Oh, God save me from self-righteous protection!  Yes, you’ve taken care of me, which I appreciate more than you’ll ever know, but being a decent human being doesn’t equate to being in love.   Romeo could brush my hair!”

Richie’s patience was waning quickly, and with a grumble of frustration, he pressed his fingers over her lips.  “Okay, just stop.  I don’t want to hear any more of that garbage.   It’s your turn to listen now.  Please.”

Snapping her head back to escape the restrictive touch, she grumbled right back at him.  “Don’t shush me like some yappy dog!  It may be garbage, but it’s true!   And as far as your friggin’ explanation goes, there’s no point.  I saw it with my own eyes.”

“You can be so damn frustrating!  What you SAW was me getting played,” he nearly shouted, his tolerance level having been reached and surpassed.  Fretful fingers raked through his hair in an attempt to lock down his annoyance.  Drawing quiet, steady breaths, hands settled at his waist and regarded her with the slow shake of his head.

“Back when Heather and I were married and things were going really well, she was so excited to get me back home after a stint on the road.  We’d talk from the time I left the airport until I pulled into the driveway, where she would be standing outside waiting for me.  Just like she was today.

“She would always make sure she was wearing something nice, but not fancy.  Enough to let me know she’d made the effort for me.  The dress she had on today was always one of my favorites, and she’s very much aware of that.

“I don’t have any excuse, but I’ll admit it; I got sucked into the memories.  It was an eerie feeling of déjà vu, and I didn’t like it.  I’m pissed as hell that she tried to manipulate me that way, and let her know it in no uncertain terms when you went out to the car. “   He bent his knees, silently pleading for her to look at him.  “You have to believe me when I say I am NOT in still in love with her.”

She considered him carefully, needing to ferret out any trace of insincerity or deception that he may be hiding, but his gaze held hers boldly, with firm resolve.  She wanted so badly to believe him.  To believe that she hadn’t been imagining everything they’d shared. 

No, there was no indication of dishonesty, but still she wondered…

“Who filed for divorce, you or her?”

“She did.”

“What if she decides she wants you back?  What then?  You just walk away from whatever relationship you’re in at the time?”

“She doesn’t want me back.”

“But what if she DID?”  Allegra was persistent.  After seeing Heather in action, she wouldn’t put it past the woman to decide that it was time to reclaim her man – if for no other reason than to cause a stir.

“Number one, we still have the same fundamental issues that led to the divorce in the first place.”

“WHAT issues?”

“It shouldn’t be a surprise that the biggest one is children.”

“Pretty soon you’ll be too old for children anyway.  What then?”

A pained grimace prefaced his dry response. “You know how to wound a guy, Sunshine.”

“Facts are facts.”  Allegra wasn’t being cute, or facetious.  There would be no ‘shoulda, coulda, wouldas’ after they finished this exchange.  All the cards were going down on the table.

“Okay, fine.  Then she’ll still be too self-involved to do anything but worry about her figure and the crow’s feet around her eyes.  Life is for living and I want someone to live it with me.”

“If that’s number one, then what’s number two?”

“Number two, I’ve already moved on to something bigger and better.  I can’t and won’t turn back.”

The words all sounded good.  Perfect, as a matter of fact, but she still needed something build a future on.  Heather’s presence in their lives couldn’t remain a constant source of contention.  Allegra needed to know his head, heart and mouth were all in the same place.

“Is that the truth?  You don’t have to appease me, Richie, but I need you to be man enough to tell me your true feelings, so that I’m not forced to make assumptions.  I won’t have a tragic, emotional breakdown if you can’t move past your marriage, but I need to know the truth.”

Abstract thoughts tumbled randomly through her consciousness as she braced herself for whatever he may say, and her eyes were drawn again to the hibiscus bloom behind his shoulder.  The need for a brief mental escape had her identifying with the little blossom.  It fought valiantly to open up and face the world, despite the obstacles that life relentlessly hurled at it.  Despite the rain, wind, insects and heat, the little orange bud was beginning to unfurl and show its delicate insides to the world.

She knew she could be as strong as a flower, for Heaven’s sake.  She’d come through too much already to allow this to be the end of her figurative world.  Her jaw was set, and her chin lifted in anticipation, encouraging him to do his worst.

He eased himself closer, afraid she would push him away again. 

“The truth?”  Strong fingers tentatively reached around and tangled themselves in the waves that hung down her back, and goose bumps rose at the slight pressure he exerted. 

Damn traitorous body.

“The truth is I’m head over heels in love with YOU.  I’ve never met anyone like you.  The truth is you make me think about the possibility of marriage with optimism instead of contempt.” 

Freeing itself from her hair, his hand slipped down to palm her tummy, and the muscles there clenched in reaction to his touch.  “The truth is that there was no turning back from the minute I realized that condom broke.  You already radiate an incredible inner beauty, but you’ll be magnificent with the glow of pregnancy.”  His lips hovered close to her ear when he murmured, “I want to be there for that.  I want it to be OUR baby that does that for you.”

A cold shiver raced down her spine and her heart beat like a hummingbird’s.  Feeling slightly light headed, she had a real concern that she was going to faint like a silly schoolgirl.  Knowing that she shouldn’t give in so easily, the thoughts formed for a stern self-lecture, but she abandoned them well before they’d been gathered and delivered.

He’d never lied to her before, and there was no reason to believe he was starting now. 

“I love you, Allegra – and THAT’S the truth.”

Her shoulder muscles slowly unraveled as the sentiment achieved the desired effect, turning her to a puddle of goo.  Slipping her arms around him, she loosened the stranglehold she’d put on her heart when this episode had begun, mentally returning it to its rightful place in his possession.  She hated herself for giving in so easily, and it was of little comfort to know that she wouldn’t have been such a pushover if she didn’t love him so much. 

Being a pushover was okay, but being walked over was not.

Pulling his head down, Allegra pressed a petal-soft kiss against his mouth, whispering, “I love you too.  But if you ever humiliate me like that again I’ll have Takumi string every single one of your guitars upside down.  Then YOU can explain to Jon why you screwed up his show.  Got it?”