Friday, February 3, 2012

One Hundred Seventy-Five


Following countless photos with every conceivable mix-and-match combination of bride, groom, family and friend, David Bergman was satisfied that he’d sufficiently documented the event to its fullest.  Allegra had been so engrossed in Richie and the ceremony, that she hadn’t noticed him diligently snapping away during the actual event.  And, as anxious as she would eventually be to see his efforts, right now she was concentrating on enjoying the moment – and steadily pushing Richie to the pinnacle of his patience.

Everyone milled about the private dining room, decorated much as it had been the evening before in its array of vibrant jewel tones and tropical flowers.  The only marked difference was the substitution of several smaller tables for the two large ones from last night.

The younger kids were finally hitting their stride, racing around the room as their mothers called for them to sit and eat something from the sumptuous buffet Chef Lucy had assembled.  All of the traditional continental fare was present – donuts, muffins, bagels, fruit – yet with a contemporary, tropical twist.  The donuts were decorated with coconut, muffins contained pineapple and macadamia nuts, bagels had tropical fruit spreads and the fruit was a succulent local assortment of pineapple, kiwi, mango, passion fruit, dragon fruit and a handful of other things that Allegra wasn’t entirely confident in identifying.

She was sitting at a tiny table for two in the center of the room with her husband – husband! – and thoroughly enjoying a juicy mango.  She purred delightedly at the sweet, tangy flavor of the fleshy fruit whose nectar somewhat intentionally dripped from her bottom lip.  Allegra was forced to do a quick swipe with her tongue before it trekked its way completely down her chin. Finding the juice just as sweet as the fruit elicited another throaty moan of appreciation.

Casually leaning forward until he was nearly nose to nose with his wife, Richie nonchalantly commented, “If you don’t stop making those damn sex noises…  I’m about a heartbeat away from throwing you on this table eating the breakfast I really want – and baby, those won’t be fruit juices dripping from my chin.  They’ll be yours.”

Allegra sucked in a sharp breath, forcing a tiny piece of mango down her windpipe and inciting a coughing fit.  By his relaxed composure, no one would ever guess that he’d just threatened to instigate a decidedly non-family activity in a room crowded with their friends and loved ones.

“You okay there, Sunshine?” he asked with a satisfied smirk, patting her on the back.  “Something go down the wrong way?”

“Mm-hmm,” she mumbled around a swallow of water, then gingerly placed the goblet back on the table’s surface.  With wide, innocent eyes she speculated, “But I know what will go down perfectly in just a little while.  I promise.”

Completely enamored by her easy mischievousness, he bit back a laugh even as he narrowed his eyes threateningly.  “Minx.”

“Oh, please.  You love that I’ve moved onto honors courses in your private school of debauchery.”

“Damn straight,” was the growled response.  “And if – “

They were interrupted by the repetitive clinking of flatware on glass.  Arching their necks toward the sound, Allegra saw that Jon was tapping his water glass with a spoon.  “If I could have everyone’s attention for just a minute?”

The murmurs around the room faded to silence as everyone – even the children – turned their focus to the man standing at his seat.  “I know, I know,” he said with a rueful grin and lift of his hand.  “Y’all are thinking ‘Jesus, can’t he ever shut up?  Always running his mouth.’” 

“Since I’m not on the time clock, I’m willing to say yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking,” David bellowed from his own table.

Throwing his hands up in a helpless gesture, Jon sighed, “See?  See what I put up with?  No respect.”  Good natured jokes and laughter rolled through the room until he lifted his voice again.  “But seriously, I am the best man, and that comes with it certain responsibilities – one of those being a toast.”  Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial tone, he informed those gathered, “A lot of you may not know this, but she hated him on sight.  He’d barely spoken a full sentence before she was force-feeding him his own boots.”

Allegra groaned and covered her flushing cheeks.  It was not one of her best moments.   She had been an insufferable snob that day.

“I believe the quote was ‘You should watch where you’re going, or are you just used to the world anticipating your every move?’,” David supplied helpfully, adding in a loud aside to Tico, “I considered having a pillow embroidered.  It was beautiful.”

“Dammit Lemma,” Jon grumbled through his laughter.  “I’d offer to let you do this yourself but you would.  So shut up until I’m finished.”

With an overdramatic sigh, the Joker slumped in his seat – after receiving a sharp elbow from his wife.

“Anyway,” Jon continued.  “That obviously changed and despite a couple of rough patches, they found that they were good for each other.  Richie became energized and full of song ideas.  Frannie, baby, I don’t think you even know this, but you were the inspiration for one of our new songs.”

No, she hadn’t known.  She lifted her eyebrows in silent question to Richie.

“Don’t be looking at him, pay attention to me,” Jon chided.  “I’m saying important stuff here.”

Blowing him a raspberry of total disrespect amidst a cacophony of snickers, she nevertheless pushed her curiosity aside for the moment.  Settling into the curve of Richie’s arm, Allegra gave him her undivided attention.

“Thank you.  Now, some of you also probably don’t know that there are a total of four new songs on the greatest hits album being released next month.  The first is This Is Love, This Is Life, inspired by Mrs. Allegra Castanelli-Sambora.  The second is No Apologies, which technically has nothing to do with either of you, but you were fighting when he rocked the guitar solo and vocals.”  With a careless shrug, he observed, “ I don’t think it would’ve been quite the same without that underlying anger.  Song number three is What Do You Got, and what do you got if you ain’t got love, to quote the lyrics.  Because each of these songs is connected to Allegra and Richie in my mind, as a wedding gift to the happy couple, I’ve decided to sign over all of my royalty rights to three of them.”

Richie and Allegra looked at each other in surprise, Richie more taken aback than she, as he had more understanding of the significance of Jon’s gift.

“I should be generous and cough up the rights on the fourth song too, but as its lyrics say…  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  So I’m not.” 

With a wide, shameless JBJ grin amidst the knowing laughter in the room, he lifted his juice-laden champagne flute.  “To the bride and groom.  May you have a long, happy life together, because…”  He shook an ominous finger at each of them in turn, eyes twinkling as he delivered the punch line.  “I got no desire to be in the middle of that mess if you don’t!” 

Receiving laughter and disapproving scowls in equal proportion, he lifted the same hand that threatened them and splayed it over his chest with an endearing tilt of his head.  “I love you both with all my heart.  Salud.”

And so it went.  There were toasts, embarrassing stories of the couples’ early days, well-wishes and much love spread about, until Richie stood, hauling Allegra to her feet as well.  Pressing her body close against him, he took his turn to address those assembled.

“My sincere, heartfelt thanks to each of you for joining us so far from home, so early in the morning to usher us into our married life.  Each one of you has a special place in our lives and our hearts and today wouldn’t have been complete without you.”  Gazing affectionately at his wife, he made their parting excuses.  “ That being said, I know you’ll all understand that we’re anxious to begin our… vacation, so I’m going to whisk my lovely bride away to our romantic hideaway.  Please enjoy the rest of your stay with our compliments.  We’ll be back to bid you aloha before you go home in the morning.”

Under the noise of their applause and catcalls, Allegra murmured, “My parents.  I need to talk to them before we go.”

“Sunshine,” he entreated.  “I’m not going to stop you if you’re determined, but it’s our wedding day.  Can’t we just leave it with happy memories for everybody?  Especially for us?”

Allegra winced with the painful realization that she was being selfish.  It was forty year old news.  It would certainly keep another day.

Grasping his hand, she tugged him down for a kiss.  “I’m sorry.  You’re absolutely right.  Today is for celebrating the future, not dredging up the past.”

“Good girl.  Thank you.  If you still can’t get it off your mind, we can come back early enough to talk before they leave tomorrow.”

“That sounds good.”

Hugs, kisses, and goodbyes took them another thirty minutes and they had nearly stepped through the doorway when David came skidding to a stop behind them, a silver gift bag dangling from his fingers.  “Hey kids, don’t run off without your gift from me!”

Husband and wife both eyed him distrustfully before Allegra accepted the elegantly wrapped package.   Sparkling tissue paper and matching purple ribbon glittered against the matte silver finish of the gift bag. “You weren’t supposed to get us a gift.”

“Of course I was going to get you a gift,” he scoffed, cramming his hands into his pants pockets, looking for the entire world like a mischievous little boy.  “There are certain things you must have on your wedding night.”

Dread swept over her in a cold chill even as her cheeks blazed with fire.  Without knowing what was hiding in that innocent looking gift, Allegra was on the verge of being mortified. 

“What the hell have you done Lemma?” Richie plucked the bag from her fingers, unceremoniously pushing the prismatic tissue paper to the side so that he could get a look at its contents.

“Ah, ah, ah!”  He batted Richie’s hands out of the bag.  “Don’t open it until later.”

“David, so help me God if you’ve done something perverted,” Allegra threatened him under her breath.  “You really will go back to Jersey in a body bag – or an urn!”

Chuckling delightedly, he swooped in for a final kiss on her cheek.  “When you want to apologize, remember food gifts are always appreciated – especially cookies.  I love you, Legs.” 



4 comments:

Emerald Isle said...

LOL!! Brilliant!! Now I NEED to know what's in the damn bag!!

Anonymous said...

I really love David! Great writing...I really don't want this story to end:(

Michladydi

Bayaderra said...

Whats in that bag Dave?!?!?!

fivefivegenie said...

OMG, do I *really* want to know what's in that package? It's either going to be something *really* good...or something *really* bad.

Loved Jon's speech. I could totally hear him with the “Don’t be looking at him, pay attention to me,” Jon chided. “I’m saying important stuff here.”

Now do we get to the good stuff? Please? (j/k of course, this is all fabulous!)