Chapter 154

“So how is this supposed to go down?”

She gave him a cheeky grin as he adjusted the guitar strap over his shoulder.  They were back in the brown bedroom after the birthday party.  The dinner had been infuriatingly long from her perspective, but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.  The birthday boy couldn’t keep the smile from his face as he opened the few token gifts.

“There is no this going down,” she informed him, stepping into his personal space.  Soft fingers slid inside his still open shirt and she happily stroked over the light hair, nails scraping across one flat nipple.  Enjoying the way he shivered, she did it again.  “The only thing going down is me.  Well, and your pants.”

The groan rumbled in his chest.  Hard fingers buried into her hair and curled around the back of her head, pulling her in close for a fierce kiss.  There was no finesse this time, just his hard lips meeting hers, tongue immediately filling her mouth.  Determined strokes tried to devour her and she very nearly let herself get lost in the warm slide and his hands on her bottom.

Sucking in a breath, she pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss.  Heat rushed into her cheeks, and Allegra was a little fuzzy.  She struggled to focus.

“Stop,” she breathed.  “I’m in charge here, not you.  You’ll get your gift exactly the way I want to give it to you.  I’ve been planning this for weeks.”

“Ahh, that’s right,” he mused, one callused thumb wiping the moisture from her glistening bottom lip.  “You’ve been fantasizing.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Before this gift-giving starts, can I ask you a question?”

Allegra rolled her eyes.  They accused women of being too talkative.  She could feel the dampness of her panties from where he’d gotten between her legs earlier, and she wanted nothing more than to get between his.

“If you hurry.” 

Her eyes were locked on the one tanned hand curled over the butt of the guitar.  The blunt tipped fingers were riveting against the more delicate engraving of the instrument.  She knew just how rough and crude – in a good way – those fingers could be.  To see them with a back drop that so much more refined, knowing that those Jersey boy hands could make this thing of beauty weep with their gentle mastery… 

Shivers stole down the backs of her legs.

“Is there something that prompted this particular fantasy?”

Huh?  She blinked, having difficulty understanding the words, much less why he was talking.

Oh yeah, his question.

“You’ve never been in the crowd during one of the shows.” 

She positioned her thumb across the top-most fret on the guitar, slowly dragging it down the strings and savoring the indentations they pushed into the whorls of her thumbprint.  With startling clarity, she knew why he was so rapturous when he played.  There was something about the feel of the strings under your fingers…

“The women…  They talk about the faces you make when you play.”  Her eyes locked on his.  “Sex faces, they call them.”

He nodded briefly, now seemingly more interested in the play of her fingers on his guitar than her answer.  Watching him watch her, she leisurely pushed her thumb back up the fret board, stroking the strings with an unconscious sensuality. 

His knuckles whitened with the intensity of his grip on the guitar’s body.

“I want the satisfaction of knowing that, the first time you make those faces with this guitar around your body…”  She strummed the strings in one final caress before giving Baby up to the man who would make her scream.  “It was because of me.”

He grunted when she cupped him through the fabric of his jeans, giving a little squeeze.  The button on his pants popped free under her manipulation.

“Play for me,” she commanded softly.  “Make love to her while I make love to you.”

A clipped laugh of disbelief forced its way through his windpipe.  “You think I can play while you’re sucking my dick?”

Whipping the blouse over her head, Allegra dropped smoothly to her knees, her lacy bra barely containing her ever-growing breasts. 

“You’ll play or I won’t suck your dick.”

She felt the ridge of flesh jump behind his zipper and grinned to herself.  It was fun turning the tables on him for a change.

Richie’s head was going to explode.  He didn’t have enough blood to operate both at the same time.  The only prayer he had was that muscle memory would help his fingers pick out a song.

“Requests?”  The question was strangled from him as she parted the placket of his jeans, shoving them down far enough to pull him free from their confines.

She purred with delight as she ran both hands up and down his length.

Fucking purred.

He’d be lucky if he didn’t blow at the first touch of her mouth.

“Just play.”

He could feel her words caress his balls, she was so close. 

Forcing his fingers to concentrate, he strummed the first few chords to “Lay Your Hands on Me” before they froze. 

Jesus Christ her hot little mouth was sucking on his left nut like it was a piece of fucking candy.

“I can’t do this.”

“You can and you will.”  At least that’s what he thought she said.  That’s what it sounded like with her face buried way between his thighs, licking away at the stretch of skin behind his testicles.

To drive home the sincerity of her point, she nipped at him with her teeth.  “Now.”

He didn’t like bossy women.  Richie wanted to dominate in the bedroom.  He got off on it.

But holy fuck if his sweet little Sunshine wasn’t hot as hell with a little dominatrix twist to her. 

So he focused on the guitar, doing some running riffs by wrapping his fist loosely around the neck and stroking it up and down in the same motion Allegra was using on him.

Her breath was hot against the base of his dick, her stiff tongue making laps around it, flicking at the taut stretch of skin where his shaft and sac connected.  The vibrations of her breathy moans shimmied from one end of his shaft to the other and his dick got unbelievably harder. 

Richie’s head fell back on his shoulders, fingers working blindly through one of the songs he’d played a thousand times – he didn’t know which one.  He didn’t care.  Not when he felt her lips close around the swollen head and slurp away the moisture at its tip. 

Forcing his eyes open and head forward, he took in her dark head bobbing at his crotch, naturally rosy lips stretched around its girth and slick with saliva.

“Oh fuck, baby,” he groaned, hands falling to his side.  “That’s it.”

There was a sharp pain as her fingernails dug into his ass and her mouth released him long enough to order, “Play.”

His fingers tunneled into her hair, cupping the back of her head in an effort to guide her mouth back onto him, but Allegra wasn’t going to budge.  She turned her face toward his leg, licking wetly along the crease of his thigh.

“Baby, don’t be that way,” he pleaded.  “Suck me.”

Her fingers were dancing all across his lower belly, teasing him much as her mouth was teasing by moving to the other crease of his leg.  That hot little tongue was so close to his balls he could feel the moisture, but she wasn’t touching.

“You play and I suck.”

Damn, she was getting awfully domineering.  Richie didn’t know if he should let her get used to this. 

He tugged sharply on her hair, silently demanding her eyes.  When he had them, he growled, “I don’t remember saying you could be in charge.”

“And I don’t remember asking your permission.”  Her gaze was fearless, knowing she was holding the power by cupping his balls and squeezing.  “Play the damn guitar and come.  You’re very good at both. I know you can do it.”

His dick surged again.  Yeah.  He was keeping her pregnant.  This newfound sexual confidence and aggression was sexy as hell on her.  Richie couldn’t remember ever being so turned on.

But the bedroom was his domain and he wanted to remind her of that.

“I’m eating you raw afterward.”

She didn’t speak, just gave an impatient glance toward the black and pewter instrument resting against his stomach.

He wanted her mouth on him badly enough to start another song. The chords to “Rosie” flew from his fingers as though it had been only days instead of years since he had last played it.

“Good boy,” she praised, sliding her hand up his shaft to squeeze a drop of fluid from the head.  She held firm as she slid her tongue along the slit and removed the salty droplet with a smile.

He hadn’t been called a ‘good boy’ in…  ever, and wasn’t sure he liked it now.  The ability and inclination to care evaporated as she strained to swallow him whole.  One forceful suck and his ‘give a damn’ took a hike.

“Ohhh, baby.”  His head grew too heavy for his neck and bobbed back as her mouth did heavenly yet sinful things to him.  The heat of her breath blew across the damp barrier of her saliva and his balls tightened with pleasure.  “Fuck, yes.”

The air was cool against that same skin when she took away the warm haven of her mouth, choosing instead to lick all the way around his erection with her tongue teasing under the rim of his head.  She flicked butterfly kisses all the way up and down his throbbing stiffness, pausing to suck lightly on the bulging vein on the underside.  The tip of her tongue teased with feathery swipes that covered him from slit to scrotum and back again.

“Jesus Allegra, finish it.  Please,” he begged, with a forward thrust of his hips.  He needed to be inside her.  Mouth or pussy, it didn’t matter which, but he wanted to fill her and his time to detonation was ticking downward a whole lot faster than he wanted it to.

“Come on baby, suck me…”  Downy, dark hair brushed across his thighs as she took mercy on him and stretched her lips around his thickness once again.  “Godddd….  I need to come.”

His desperation didn’t hurry her along any, and she sucked slowly and thoroughly, inching more and more of him into her mouth.  Her gentle compressions on his sac mimicked the throbbing he could feel in his dick.  Her fingernails scraped the tender skin behind it and he thought his balls would turn inside out.

“Now,” he ordered, desperate for release.  Desperate as he was, his fingers didn’t stop across the strings.  He was afraid if he stopped that she would, too.  “Harder.  Faster.”

Richie may as well have been talking to himself.  Allegra had her own timetable and she simply held tight around the base of him with her index finger and thumb as she swirled her tongue over him within the heat of her mouth.

His grip tightened on the guitar as the sweat beads rolled down his temples.  She was bobbing faster and pumping her fist along so that either her mouth or hand was covering him at all times. Her cheeks became concave with the movement, so hard was she drawing at him.

“Yess… Oh Jesus, yes.”  His hands fell from the frets and fisted in her hair, going along for the ride.  She hummed in pleasure, sending shockwaves down into his toes as her fingernails dug into his ass again.  The pain was merely an added extra sensation that made his stomach muscles clench with pending release.

“I’m gonna come,” he panted, pulling out of her mouth and stroking frantically over his saliva glossed erection until he felt the orgasm break free and shoot onto her waiting tongue.  The second burst landed on her chin and the third and final spurt splashed onto her breasts.

He released himself, hand falling limply to the side and watching her from under heavy lids.

Allegra took her thumb and swiped the stickiness from her chin, popping it into her mouth with an appreciative murmur.  Her wet, pink tongue darted out over juicy red lips and sent a shiver down his spine.

“Don’t get used to ordering me around,” he warned her, lifting the guitar off his body and setting it aside.

She quirked an arrogant eyebrow at him, for all the world reminding him of Jon.  “Is that the way you say thank you for a birthday gift?  I guess that mean you didn’t like getting off all over me.”

His deflating erection gave a twitch of approval at the memory as he hauled her up to face him.  “Hell, I didn’t like it.  I fucking loved it!  But I’m still the boss in the bedroom.”  He nipped at the tendon standing up in her neck.  “Understand?”

“Mmm.”  Allegra rolled her head to the side, allowing him further access. “I think you said something about eating me raw?  So as long as that’s what you’re going to do, boss away.”

She squeaked in his ear when he swept her up with a laugh and tossed her into the middle of the bed.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

She grinned at him as he shucked her pants down her legs.  “No, but I hope it’s a lot.  I’ll tell you how much I love you as soon as you finish.”

He flipped her over and swatted her on the butt, amid her giggles.  “If you’re waiting for me to finish…  It’s gonna be a while, baby.  Just lie back and enjoy the ride…”

One Hundred Fifty-Three

“Thank you again for my gift,” he murmured nuzzling behind her ear as she stood at the sink a few hours later.  David and Lexi still hadn’t arrived, but everyone else was in the living room having pre-dinner drinks.  Richie had seen Allegra steal away for a moment and followed close behind.  “It’s beautiful.”

She smiled, arching her neck to give him better access as she put the glass she’d been carrying into the sink.  “The guitar isn’t really your gift,” she sighed, enjoying his heated breath filling her ear and stirring up her hormones.  “I just picked out something for you to buy.  The real gift is what I’m going to do to you while you’re playing it for me tonight.  Although, I’ve fantasized about it so long, I’m not sure who’s really getting the gift.”

“Fantasized?” He spun her in his arms, eyes heating as they took in her slightly wicked grin. 

“Mm-hmm.” Her agreement was muffled when she buried her nose and lips in the hollow at the base of his throat.  He’d worn a button-down shirt for her, well aware of how much she liked the skin it revealed.  “Although there’s one thing I still can’t decide…”

“Yeah?  What’s that?”  His wide-splayed palms roamed up and down her back possessively, enjoying the feel of her softness.

“If I’d rather suck your cock dry or let you come on my face.  Do you have a preference?” she asked innocently, trailing her fingertip down his sternum, exposed by the line of buttons he’d left unfastened. 

Her wicked grin kicked up a notch as his hands stilled and he went instantly hard against her belly.

“Who the fuck are you, and what have you done with my sweet little nun?”

Her chuckle was far from sweet, and shot straight to his groin.  “You knocked me up, you have to deal with the hormones – both good and bad.  My mind stays in the gutter lately and gets dirtier the longer it stays.”

“Well, I hope there’s room for two.” His hands crept down to her backside, squeezing its roundness as he thrust his hardness against her.  “Because you sure as hell aren’t gonna be there alone.”

“So you’ll join in all the sexual depravity that’s been running through my mind?”

His hips involuntarily thrust again.  He was the luckiest bastard alive.  “Hell, yes!  Can we start right now?”

Levering up on her toes, she swiped her tongue across his bottom lip, sending more tingles southward.  “No, but if you’re a really good boy, I’ll let you eat a special dessert after we have cake and you cover me with your creamy icing.”

Richie couldn’t control the groan that escaped from the back of his throat.  She was going to fucking kill him, that’s all there was to it.  “I’m keeping you pregnant, you know that, right?”

Another sultry laugh filled his ear, along with her breath.  “I’ll gladly give you a houseful of kids if you can make me come before someone walks through that door.”

The word ‘come’ was no more out of her mouth before his hand was in her pants, two fingers buried knuckle-deep.  She was so wet that they slid home with no resistance.

“Don’t try and out-dirty me, baby.  You’ll never win,” he growled, pumping in and out of her heat, enjoying the way her eyes drifted immediately closed with pleasure.  He wasted no time skimming over that special little patch of skin hidden inside her slippery channel.

Allegra clung to his shoulders, head falling back with a whimper and offering up the long span of her throat.  He couldn’t resist a sharp nip on the tendon that stood in taut relief on the silken skin. 

“Funny, it feels like I’m about to win,” she gasped, rocking her hips against his persistent fingers.  “Harder.”

His other hand tightened on her hip as he thrust as deep as his fingers would go, reveling in the slick moisture coating his hand.  She was wound tight and set to go off.  Especially if he rubbed his thumb right… there.

Richie never thought that a grunt could be sexy, but when she buried her face in his chest and grunted out her release, he nearly blew behind his zipper. 

How in the hell was he supposed to go back out there and pretend to enjoy the idle chit-chat for a socially acceptable amount of time?  All he could think about was shoving her pants down, bending her over the counter and pounding into her until her insides were coated with that icing she had been talking about.

“One houseful of kids,” she panted against him, muscles still rippling along his fingers.  “They’re yours, sweetheart.”  She tipped her face up to kiss the underside of his jaw.  “God, you’re good.”

Countless women had gifted him with similar compliments throughout his lifetime, but he’d never thought much of it.  He made sure his partners were well taken care of, and they appreciated it.  But Allegra’s praise hit him with a sweet, warm punch.  His heart swelled almost as big as the other part of his anatomy, which was impressive considering how much blood he had pumping below the belt. 

“I want to mark you,” he said as easily as if he were asking for a cup of coffee.  His fingers slid out of her warmth and he helped her adjust her pants.  “I want you to suck me until my balls feel like they’re gonna turn inside out, then cover your pretty pink lips with what you do to me.”

The pupils dilated in her already glassy baby blues, and the tip of her tongue darted out as if she could taste him already.

“Go get your guitar.  We’re done here.”

It was his turn to chuckle as his lips fastened over hers in a hard, hungry kiss.  “Soon, my sweet, dirty girl.”

♥ ♥ ♥

By the time they rejoined the others, David and Lexi had arrived with an extra guest in tow.  Kristofer’s little dog was draped over his arm, all dressed for a party in a little black bow tie and top hat.

The man himself showed more restraint – barely.  A shiny gold shirt under a black sharkskin suit with some type of reptile-skin boots could be considered understated in some social circles. 

But the fact that everyone else in the room was wearing jeans – even Joan – made Kristofer’s ensemble even more…  distinctive.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” David whispered as he greeted them.  “I think she’s about to give him a bedroom at the house.  Holy shit, I had no idea she was gonna bond with the little flake.  If I go to bed tonight and find him and that damn dog propped up against the pillows, I’m calling the whole thing off!”

Allegra shook her head with a laugh.  The thoughts of dealing with Kristofer weren’t nearly as stressful now that Richie had talked her off the ledge and helped her figure out their wedding.

“It’s okay David.  That’s the beauty of a Mexican buffet – there’s plenty of food.  Kristofer is welcome.”

“You hate me, don’t you?”

“She may not, but I do,” Richie muttered below his breath.  “It’s my birthday, dude.”

“I know, I know.”  He expelled a sharp breath, looking at the floor.  “I’ll make it up to you.”

Holding her hand out, Allegra did much better this time than the last at controlling her urge to laugh out loud at the flamboyant little man.  “Hello again, Kristofer.  I’m glad you could join us.”

He clasped her hand briefly and offered her a smile that more closely resembled a sneer.  “Thank you.  I didn’t want to intrude, but Lekthi inthithted.” 

Behind him, David rolled his eyes.

“Well, I’m glad she did, because Richie and I were going to call you.”  She nudged Richie with her elbow.  “Weren’t we?”

Socially acceptable smile in place, her fiancé nodded amiably and stuck his hand out as well.  “Yeah, man.  Good to see you again.”

Tico and Jon were standing in the far corner, soon joined by David, shaking their heads and laughing.  Dot poked her husband as she walked by to deliver a glass of wine to Lexi, joining her and Alejandra in unabashedly eavesdropping.

“Oh yeth?”  Allegra could swear his ears perked up.  She knew Jasper’s did.  “Did you dethide on thomething?”

She herded him toward a small grouping of chairs.  “Yes, actually, we have.  If you want to sit for a moment, I’ll fill you in.”

“I’ll just go – “ Richie started to say, but snapped his jaw shut in mid-sentence, his tongue pierced by the Glare of Don’t-You-Dare-Leave-Me-Alone-With-Him.   Allegra was learning all kinds of useful tricks from Dot.  “Umm…  I’ll just go right over here and join you, if that’s okay, baby.”

She bestowed an angelic smile upon him.  “Absolutely.”

Jon and Tico’s snickers carried from across the room, and he flipped them the bird behind his back.

It occurred to Allegra that they hadn’t discussed anything wedding related since making their decision a couple of days ago.  She hadn’t even told Dot and Jon what they intended to do, and she’d bet Richie hadn’t told anyone either.

“Richie have you told your mother?”

His guilty glance toward Joan was answer enough. 

Allegra took a deep breath.  It would probably be better to take care of all these birds with one stone.  Since everyone in this room was invited, it only made sense to do it now.

“Then Kristofer, allow us to share this with our family and friends at the same time, if you don’t mind.”

“Of courthe.”

Turning toward the others, she laughed.  “Well, you didn’t know this was going to be a wedding briefing did you?”  Allegra reached for Richie’s hand and he posted himself by her side with an encouraging smile.

“Richie and I have picked a date.  We’re getting married over Labor Day weekend – in Hawaii.  It’s going to be a sunrise ceremony on the beach and you’re all invited.”

There were nods all around and most everyone seemed pleased with the announcement – except Lexi, who appeared sick, and Jon, who was scowling.

“Jon, do you have a problem with your cousin’s wedding plans?” Dot inquired archly.

“Sunrise, Allegra?  Do you know how fuckin’ early in the morning that is?  Do you think you can even get his ass out of bed by then?”

She squeezed Richie’s hand, and gave him a knowing smile.  “I’m sure I can.”  Turning her attention to Jon, she said, “And if you don’t want to come, then I’ll ask David to give me away instead.”

“I never said I didn’t wanna come,” he grumbled.  “If anyone is giving you away other than your dad, it’s gonna be me.”

“That’s what I thought.  Richie, tell them the rest, please.”

Lifting his arm to rest across her shoulders, he continued.  “The only guests will be those of you in this room.  You’ve been witness to our relationship since the beginning, and we want you to be there for the next step.  Afterward – sometime in mid-September – we’ll have a reception here in Jersey for the extended family and friends.  That’s where you come in Kristofer.  We’d like you to help plan it for us.”

Lexi appeared relieved, and Allegra briefly considered that Kristofer had some type of crazy hold over her.  Why was she so desperate to get him another booking? 

Kristofer, however, curled his lip in barely veiled distaste.

“A dethination wedding.  Thothe can be nithe, I thuppose.” 

Was this little man looking down his nose at them?  Had she committed the faux pas of the century in his little bridal consulting world? 

Arrogant little -

Richie’s arm tightened around her.  “It will be very nice, Kristofer.  I can’t think of anything that would be nicer, as a matter of fact.”

All very nice.  Very polite.  But with a thread of steel that defied contradiction. 

Kristofer read that loud and clear, and his required bootlicking crowded aside his disdain.  “Oh yeth, of courthe.  A local retheption will be lovely.  We mutht dithcuth themes thoon.  Maybe we could carry over the tropical theme into the retheption.  Yeth, I think that hath pothibilieth.”

The guys were snickering evilly behind their hands, and even the wives – Lexi excepted – were laughing quietly at the exchange. 

“We’ll get back to you on that,” Richie assured him, baring his teeth in what was supposed to pass for a smile.   

Allegra turned her face, grinning into his shoulder. 

Her protector.  He made everything okay.

Chapter 152

“Okay, Daddy.  I love you, too.  Call me if there’s anything we can do.”  Allegra set her phone on Dot’s kitchen table with a sigh.  He had finally convinced her mother to seek treatment after the Fourth of July, but Therese wasn’t happy about it.  The inpatient facility in Newark would benefit her in the long run, but right now she was not happy to be there, nor was she bashful about sharing that information.

“How’s your mom?”  Dot inquired gently.

“Angry, hurting, sick.  I know it’s hard on her and that it will get better, but right now I’m worried more about Daddy.  He sounds so tired and dejected.” 

She had made her peace with her father while she was in London and they had re-cemented their relationship in the last few days.  He was happy about her engagement, and told her that any man who defended and protected her like Richie did, had his approval.

Michael had even confessed that he never thought he would get to be a grandfather and was so looking forward to it that he bought the baby a tiny Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers t-shirt.  She could only hope that her mother would join in his enthusiasm once she was well.

“You never did tell me,” Dot diverted the subject to a more pleasant topic.  “Have you decided on any names for the baby?”

“Dottie!”  Jon strode into the kitchen, snatching up an oven mitt.  “You were supposed to remind me to watch the time!  The sorry fucker will never let me live it down if I burn his cake two years in a row!”

“There’s no smoke.  I figured you were good.”

Jon’s baking frenzy was in honor of Richie’s birthday celebration that night.  It was taking place three days earlier than his actual birthday, before their next stint on the road.  It wasn’t going to be anything fancy, but the guys and their families were coming for dinner, as well as Joan and Ava. 

Allegra had been informed that birthdays for the guys were pretty simple affairs.  Besides the fading enthusiasm for birthdays brought on by aging, the novelty buying each other extravagant birthday gifts had worn off many years ago.  As an alternative, they had resorted to more personal gestures.   Low cost or no cost gifts that required a little thought and effort instead of money.

Richie had delighted in telling Allegra that he loved the fact that Jon – who couldn’t cook worth anything – took the time and effort to bake him a cake nearly every year.  And that last year, Tico had gifted him with a small sculpture he’d crafted that held a coveted spot in his living room. 

David had given him something that was typically wise-ass David.  It was a crude Disney t-shirt that said ‘I know I’m Goofy looking, but it gets worse...   I’m hung like Jiminy Cricket’ with the lyrics to “It’s a Small Word” on the back. 

Allegra was not sorry to have missed out on the argument that particular gift was likely to have incited.  Because, as Richie would declare to his dying breath, it was completely untrue.  For good reason.

She smiled, nervously anticipating his reaction to her own gift for him.  It was a something she’d thrown money at – his money – but she had plans to make it personal, too.

The pan clattered onto the cooling rack and Jon cursed under his breath.

“Burn yourself, baby?”

He sucked air through his teeth and shook his hand, beyond irritated.  “Of course I did.  Don’t I always?”

“Yeah.  You do.”  Dot turned back to Allegra.  “So… baby names?”

She snickered at Dot’s obvious lack of concern over what Jon would have her believe were third-degree burns.  “Faith for a girl and Caleb for a boy.”

“Nice.  I think I understand why Faith, but what about Caleb?”

“It was the closest male equivalent of Faith we could find.  It means heart.”

Dot nodded.  “Good choices then.  What about middle names?”

“We haven’t talked about it, and I haven’t even mentioned this to Richie, but I think I’m going to let Ava pick the middle name.”

“Impressive.  Way to make a mark as a cool stepmom.”

Jon snickered from the sink, where cold water was running over his life-threatening injury. 

“What, Betty Crocker?”  Allegra asked.  “You have something to say about that?”

“The girl had a dog named Lambchop.  Are you sure you want her naming your kid?”

Allegra rolled her eyes.  “She’s almost thirteen, Jon.  I’m pretty sure she knows what’s appropriate for a dog and what’s appropriate for a child.  And I was hoping it would make her feel connected to the baby.  Officially it will be her half-brother or sister, but I don’t want her to think in those terms.  It’s her little brother or sister.  No halves.”

“Speaking of brother or sister, what are you hoping for?  Boy or girl?”  Dot put on her glasses with a huff, grabbing the hand flapping before her and inspecting her husband’s burn.  “You don’t seriously want sympathy for this teeny-tiny pink spot on your hand?”

“Yes.”  His bottom lip came out pathetically.  “It hurts.”

She pushed the wounded appendage away.  “Oh, please.”  She removed her glasses, dropping them on the table and turned her attention back to Allegra.  Not to be deterred, Jon popped his hand back up in front of her face and refused to move it until she had kissed his boo-boo better.

Allegra ducked her head and stifled a laugh, admiring the way they loved one another.  The circus that was Jon’s professional life garnered him no special treatment at home.  To an outsider, they may seem to be indifferent to one another, but there was a very real connection lurking in the sparkle of their eyes, the touch of their hands – something genuine in the faux glitter of fame. 

She hoped to have a marriage this solid with Richie – one where he would always know how unconditional her love was.  If he slipped into a rough patch, she wanted him to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would be there to pick him up and dust him off.  Allegra may give him hell for letting it happen, but then she would slip her hand in his and love him for all she was worth.

“You didn’t burn the cake again, did you?”  Richie joined them, bending to kiss Allegra.  “Hey, beautiful.”

Emotions hovering close to the surface, she stood to greet him.  Clingy arms snaked around his neck and she pulled him, sniffling, into a fierce hug. “I love you.”

He chuckled, lifting her to dangle above the ground for an instant, his own embrace every bit as tight.  “I love you too, Sunshine.  Hormone attack?”

“I can say that I love you without it being pregnancy hormones.”  She tapped him lightly on the shoulder, frowning.  Why did men always want to blame a woman’s emotions on hormones?

“You can,” he agreed, assuming the seat she had vacated and pulling her into his lap.  “But that was kind of intense, so I thought there may be more to it.  I’m sorry if I was wrong.”

“Dot was just asking if I wanted a boy or a girl,” she deflected his intuitive insight, even as she appreciated his sensitivity.  “What’s your answer to that question?”

“Yes?” he replied cheekily.  “The alternative to a boy or girl is an asexual amoeba, so I’m really leaning toward the boy/girl thing.”

“I take it back,” she sighed, struggling to stand, but his wrists were locked around her waist, preventing her from escaping.  “I can’t possibly love someone with such a freakish sense of humor.  As a matter of fact, it kind of creeps me out how much that sounded like David.”

“Don’t worry,” Dot consoled, curling her arm around Jon’s waist.  “About the time it gets on your nerves, the next tour rolls around.  They immerse themselves in their combined pool of stupid humor until they don’t even amuse themselves anymore.  Then they come home and act normal for a while.  It works out.”

“And there’s your People exclusive on the longevity of a rock ‘n’ roll marriage,” Jon said with a roll of his eyes.

Allegra squirmed around in Richie’s lap, suddenly impatient to give him his birthday gift.  “Jon?  Is that package still in your office?”

He looked up from nibbling on his wife’s collarbone.  “The big one?  Yeah, right where you left it.”

“Lemme up,” she whispered to Richie.  “I’ve got something for you.”

She scurried to Jon’s office to get the tall, narrow box that had arrived at Jon’s house a few days ago with her name on it.  What had come dressed in plain brown wrapping was now festively adorned with sparkly purple paper and silver ribbons. 

“Oh-ho-ho!  What do we have here, missy?” Richie scolded when she returned to the kitchen with the gift in tow.  “I told you the rule about birthdays.  Cheap and personal doesn’t come in a package that size.”

For all his chastisement, he couldn’t disguise the glee that lit up his eyes like a child at Christmas. 

“Hey, it’s my first birthday with you.  I’m pleading ignorance.  Besides, you paid for it.”

“What do you mean I paid for it?”

Allegra shrugged, knowing she was about to open a can of worms.  “I had to do something with all that money you put in my checking account.  So you bought yourself a little something.”

His hand locked around her wrist when she placed the box before him.  “I should turn you over my knee, you know.  That money was for you.”

“Jesus Christ, you know how she is.” Jon rudely interrupted.  “Why are you surprised?  Just open the damn thing.”

“Oh yeah, that’s the attitude that makes a birthday gift special.  ‘Open the damn thing’.  You’re a sentimental fool, aren’t you Jon?”  Allegra scowled at him, nose wrinkled in disgust.  “Honey,” she addressed Richie with a soft smile. “I was out of my element here, so I had a little help.  I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is.”  Richie puckered his lips, waiting for her kiss before tearing into the shiny trappings before him.

Allegra held her breath as he peeled the paper away to uncover a brown cardboard box.  He had to know what lie inside, but his face gave away nothing as he lifted the box to the table and worked the lid off.  Peeling back the bubble wrap and foam, he drew in an awed breath and slipped his hand under the sleek neck.

The guitar looked very similar to the one he’d been using for a while - his Sambora signature model.  Shiny black body, rounded like a teardrop with a delicate curve cut out at the base.  But whereas his familiar old lady had white inlay swirled across the face, this new baby had pewter etched with fanciful, intertwined leaves.  It was elegant, yet masculine.

He was busy running his fingertips over the artwork, absently strumming the strings and smiling when she was in perfect tune.

“Takumi helped me,” she explained a little nervously, searching his face for some sign of reaction.  “He wasn’t sure about what kind of different guitar you’d like, but mentioned you were a little bored with your regular show opener.  So, I decided to get her a facelift.”

Reverent hands stroked over the body as he pulled it into his lap, where it settled like it had never been any place else.  The fingers she loved so much danced nimbly over the strings and frets, acquainting themselves with the newest member of his harem, working through chords and song bits until Allegra couldn’t stand it anymore.

“So, do you like your new baby?” she finally prompted when he still hadn’t said anything.  On the verge of babbling, she added, “That’s kind of what I’ve been calling it in my mind.  Baby.  I have no idea why, but it seemed like she needed a name.”

Jon and Dorothea watched quietly, side by side with their arms around one another’s waists, also awaiting his reaction.  Jon had told her flat out that he would never try and get Richie a guitar.  He had so many, and the tiniest variations in the instruments made a world of difference to him.  Things that other people – even other musicians – wouldn’t notice, Richie noticed.

He looked up from where he was putting Baby through her paces, catching Allegra’s eye.  Then his face split into one of the widest grins she’d ever seen, and it warmed her like the sun breaking through the clouds.  She breathed a sigh of relief. 

Standing, he carefully nested Baby back into her packing before pulling Allegra into his arms.  “Baby is perfect – both the name and the guitar.  Thank you.”

“So you really like it?”

He angled so that his back was to Jon and Dot, leaning forward to whisper in her ear.  “I can’t wait to show you just how much.”

One Hundred Fifty-One

Richie paused in the doorway of the guest house living room, watching Allegra work her way through one of the boxes that Lexi had sent over.  She’d been doing the same thing for the last four days, and each time he asked her how it was going, he got a glare and grumble for his effort.

“Hey, beautiful,” he called softly, his feet spurring into motion.  The distance from where he stood to the couch was a short one, but it was much like a minefield in the fact that there were so many obstacles to avoid.  Bouquets, flowers, paper, scraps of material and doodads of all shapes and sizes were slung haphazardly around the sofa and coffee table.

Even when she’d had all of her adoption papers strewn around this room, it hadn’t been this chaotic.  Of course that was two file folders, not fourteen friggin’ boxes of crap.

He leaned over the back of the sofa, angling his head around to kiss her cheek.  As near as he could tell, she was inspecting invitation samples.

Huffing, she craned her neck to see him, a piece of cream colored paper held in each hand.  “Explain to me the difference between ecru and eggshell.  And while you’re at it could you tell me why I care?  They’re off-white.  Isn’t that close enough?”

He struggled to maintain a passive expression, when inside he was full of sardonic laughter.  She was truly cracking him up, and if she wasn’t careful, they would ask her to revoke her woman card for making comments like that.

“I’m just a man, baby.  A color blind one at that.  These things are beyond me.”

With an unintelligible grunt, she tossed both sheets into the box at her feet.  “We need to talk.” 

A sigh rattled in his chest.  In the history of all conversations, the ones that started with ‘we need to talk’ invariably sucked. 

Things had been so good lately.  Relaxed.  Easy.  What the hell could’ve gone wrong now?

The piles of wedding whatnots were swept back into their boxes to make a spot for him, and he settled in alongside her, the cushion dipping under his weight.    

“What’s up?”

Azure blue eyes blinked at him sadly.  Reaching for his hand, she curled her fingers around it until the little star tattoo hidden from view. 

“I can’t do this, Richie.  I’ve tried and tried to make it okay in my head, but nothing I’m telling myself is working.”  She squeezed his hand, taking a deep breath.  “I’m calling off the wedding.  I’m so sorry.”

Talk about lightning striking out of the blue.  He couldn’t have been any more surprised if she’d announced that she was a lesbian.  Scrambling to think, he sought to recall something that he’d done to piss her off, but drew a blank.  From his perspective, they’d been perfectly content since London.

So what the hell was going on?

“You  wanna tell me why?”

“Why? Isn’t it obvious?”

Great.  One of those loaded questions that he didn’t have a chance in the world of answering the right way.   All he could do was take the least damning route.

“Why don’t you tell me anyway?”

She huffed, releasing him and slumping back into the couch cushions, chin dropping dejectedly to her chest. 

“It’s this,” she lamented, gesturing at the clutter around them with a half-hearted flip of her wrist.  “I can’t do this.  Planning a wedding that involves a celebrity isn’t something I ever expected to have to do, and I hate it.  There are too many details and decisions to make – most of which I don’t care about.  I’m a simple girl, Richie.  There are women out there who appreciate this kind of thing, but all this Cinderella fantasy on crack just isn’t me.”

The tension flooded from Richie’s shoulders and they began to quiver with laughter at her assessment of the situation.  Never had he heard it put more articulately.  His girl called them like she saw them.

“Are you laughing at me?”  She poked him in the ribs, causing him to flinch, but it didn’t stem the laughter.  “Are you that happy to be done with me?  Do you feel like you’ve been paroled from Death Row?  Is that hysterical laughter from sheer relief?”

Okay, she was getting entirely the wrong picture here, and under the influence of pregnancy hormones.  It wouldn’t do to set her off.  Richie fought to pull himself together, but was unable to completely wipe the smile off his face.  It was under a much tighter rein, but the corners of his mouth twitched with the effort.

“No, I’m not laughing at you.  But Cinderella on crack, Allegra?  Really?  How can I not find that funny?”

“Well, I’m not laughing,” she pouted.  “I thought everything was perfect until Lexi threw that poofy little wedding planner at us and the two of you started talking about inviting Cher.  That got me to wondering what other celebrities you were going to want to invite.” 

The pitch of her voice rose and the words started tumbling out faster and her hands began waving in emphasis of her tirade.

“Then I started thinking of how many other celebrity weddings they’ve been to, one more extravagant than the next, and how yours would need to be on a scale with that.   Do you know how many weddings I’ve been to?  None.  Not one.  How am I supposed to whip up something spectacularly different when I really don’t even know what spectacularly normal is?”

His heart tugged.  God, this woman was sweet.  Would anyone else take such a monumental day out of their life and make it about someone else?  Had any other bride attempted to plan a wedding solely to please her future husband and accommodate his social status?   

I don’t know what I did to deserve her but thank you God, for sending her my way.

He slumped back on the couch with her, one long arm encircling her shoulders as he urged her against his side.

“Allegra, I will gladly have a big, splashy, frilly wedding with everybody and their brother in attendance – if that’s what you want.  But when you get down to it…”  He shrugged and waved his hand.  “Pfft! I’m just a guy.  All I really want is to beat my chest like a caveman, grunt that you’re mine and drag you off to a secluded cave where I fuck you for days on end.”

The humor in his words loosened her up, and soon she was jiggling with laughter against his side.  “Okay, that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind either.”

“Your wedding day is when your dreams are supposed to come true, Cinderella fantasy be damned.  It doesn’t make a shit what anybody else thinks.  It’s your fantasy that matters.”  He tunneled his fingers under her ponytail, lazily massaging her scalp.  “Now tell me your fantasy.”

Allegra snuggled against him, inhaling the masculine scent that was uniquely Richie.  His arms, warmth and smell all combined to surround her with familiarity.  Why hadn’t she talked to him sooner?  He had this way of making things seem so easy. 

Her muscles began to unknot for the first time since David’s cookout.

“I don’t know.  I always knew I was going to go into the Church.  There was no reason for me to plan a fictitious wedding.”

“Come onnn,” he urged with a nudge.  “There has to be something.”

“No, not so much.”

There really wasn’t, but her ridiculously sensitive, sweet fiancé wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Close your eyes,” he demanded. 

With an indulgent sigh, she complied.  “Okay.”

“It’s your wedding day and you’re just about to walk down the aisle.  Look around you.  What do you see?  Where are you?”

The muscles that had so recently relaxed began to seize up again.  She knew he thought she was kidding, but she honestly couldn’t do this.

“I don’t see anything.  Just a blinding whiteness.”

“Allegra, you’re going to marry me.  You have to, because life without you is no longer an option.  Everything else is just details.  Let me help you work them out.  Relax and concentrate.”

She drew in a deep, cleansing breath and willed her muscles back into pliability.  This was part of that whole teamwork thing.  As futile as it may be, this was as much of a relationship building moment as any they’d had so far. 

“It’s you and me, the happiest we’ve ever been,” he set the scene.  “We’re standing in front of a preacher, looking into each other’s eyes with so much love.  Can you see it?  Feel it?”

It was weird, but she could.  Hearing his voice, low in her ear transported her to another place. 

His gooey chocolate eyes were devouring her like the sweetest dessert, making her heart flutter.  The orange halo surrounding him was warm in contrast to her imagined toes.  A soft ‘swooshing’ filled her mind and a slow smile curved her mouth. 

“It’s Hawaii.  We’re on our beach in Hawaii, and the sun is just coming up.”

“Oh yeah?  What else?  What am I wearing?”

“Mm.  A really thin button-down shirt.  It’s white, and only half the buttons are fastened.  The sleeves are rolled up to the elbows and your pants are rolled up, too, past the ankles.  They’re black.  You don’t have any shoes, barefoot in the sand.”  She felt herself grin.  “You’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He chortled with amusement.  “You know that if you open your eyes, I’m right here?”

“Yeah, but you’re so pretty here in my head.”

“Okay, I’ll pretend not to be insulted and we’ll move along,” he pretended to sulk.  “What about you?  What are you wearing?”

Her brow furrowed as she considered it.  “It’s an off-white dress.  Kind of lacy with a jaggedy, handkerchief hemline.  There aren’t any sleeves and it’s got a v-neck, plunging low in the back.  And I have the most beautiful bouquet of tropical flowers.  All shades of orange, purple and bright pink.”

“I can see it,” he agreed, fingers stroking along her side.  “You’re gorgeous, hair flowing everywhere in the breeze.”

“My hair is in a French-knot at my neck,” she corrected.  “With a hibiscus flower in it.”

“Nuh-uh.”  Richie pinched her hip in reprimand.  “Hair down, with a hibiscus behind your left ear.  Please?”

Recalling the significance of the flower placement behind the left ear, she smiled.  “Okay.”

“Who’s there with us?” he pushed on, with an appreciative hug.

“Ava, Jon, Dot, David and Tico.”  There was no hesitation, but she quickly found herself backtracking.  “And your mom of course, and I guess my mom and dad too.  And Uncle John and Aunt Carol.  And – Oh good grief,” she blew with frustration.  “This is where it gets complicated.  Everyone has to be there so no feelings get hurt, and then it’s a circus and I have to worry about bridesmaids and groomsmen and catering and all that other crap and I’m back to square one.”  Wrenching out of his embrace, she sat up, kicking the nearest box.  “I can’t do this!  There is no wedding.”

Strong fingers curled around her bicep and tugged her back into his arms.  “Don’t say that again,” he rumbled fiercely.  “Or you’re gonna piss me off.  You’ve already got most of it planned.  If guest list is the sticking point, then there won’t be a guest list.  Me, you and a minister on the beach.  That’s it.  We can have a reception in Jersey later for our family and friends, and let the goofy little wedding planner do his thing.  Let him take care of it all.”

Talk about tempting.  All of those people interfering with the serenity of their beach wasn’t… right.  And the ‘Renaithance’ was a whole lot more appealing as a reception theme than a wedding.  After all, a reception was just a party, not the milestone that set the tone for their entire marriage.

“Am I allowed to be completely selfish?”

“In planning your wedding?  Absolutely, baby.  Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“For my part, I want Jon, Dot, David and Tico there.  They can bring whomever, but those are the ones I want to share our wedding with.  They’ve been with us since before the beginning and we wouldn’t be here without them – any of them.”

“Agreed.  And I want Ava.  Ma will be just as happy with the reception.  She hates the long flight to Hawaii.”

“So…”  Allegra lifted her face to look at him.  “It kinda sounds like we have a wedding planned.  Wanna get married?”

His dimple winked as he tapped her on the nose.  “I thought you’d never ask.  When?”

“Labor Day weekend?”

“It’s a date, Sunshine.”  He slanted his mouth across hers, sealing their plans with a kiss before pushing her back on the couch.

“Hey!” she objected with a scowl.

Not even acknowledging her protest, Richie pushed her clothes aside, clearing the way to rub her bare tummy.  “Did you hear that, Bug?  Mommy thought she was getting rid of Daddy because of some silly flowers and seating charts, but no.  Daddy wouldn’t stand for it.  I can’t live without you and your Mommy.  That means we’re doing things a little different, but that’s okay.  Love comes first.  Everything else is just details.  Don’t forget that, Bug.  Don’t ever forget it.”

_______________________________________________________________________________

Author's note:  Sorry that I'm so predictable!  You all guessed what kind of wedding Allegra really wanted.  Or maybe you just know her that well?  :)

Chapter 150

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the Bryan home where Gaby greeted Ava in the doorway, dragging her immediately away to the pool.  A wave of blue-tipped fingers indicated that Ava heard her father’s call of, “Tell them we’ll be out in a minute, Baby Girl.” 

Allegra had been extraordinarily quiet ever since the news about the test results, and her eyes looked watery.  Richie didn’t quite understand why she was so upset, but he wanted to get to the bottom of it before they joined the others. 

He shepherded her into David’s music room, just off the foyer, for a little privacy.  They’d no more stepped through the doorway than she immediately launched herself into his arms and gave in to the tears that had been threatening.

“Is this about the phone call?”

She nodded against his chest, gulping back her sobs.

“I don’t want you to do another test,” he reiterated, tucking her head under his chin, rocking her gently.  “There’s no reason for it, and I can’t stand the thoughts of ending up in the ER again, worrying about whether we just killed our baby in the name of its good health.  And the fucking paternity test isn’t even a consideration, because my name is going on that birth certificate as Bug’s father – end of story.”

Allegra clung to him and her hair tickled his chin when she nodded again. “I know,” she snuffled.  “I don’t want to do it again either.”

“Then what’s wrong, baby?”

Her chest heaved against him as she swallowed several lungs full of air to get her voice.  “I – I thought it was going to be over,” she hiccupped.  “The uncertainty, the wondering.  I thought something would go right for a change, and the test would prove this IS our baby.  We went through all of the… crap and still don’t have that peace of mind.  I’m just disappointed.”

He tipped her face up and dabbed at the rivulets streaming down her face.  “I do have peace of mind and I was hoping that, by now, you would too.  Didn’t that ER visit give you enough reason to start believing?”

“I guess.” Her eyes fell to the marble floor.  “But I’m afraid this paternity thing going to hang over our heads and come crashing down when we least expect it.”

She was starting to make him mad.  There was nothing to come crashing down.  It was almost as if she didn’t want him to be the father.  Well, it was getting old and he wasn’t doing this for the rest of the baby’s life.  It was going to stop now.

“Allegra, do you love me?  Do you want to marry me?”

A bewildered frown marred her pretty features.  “Yes, of course.”

“Do you want me to be a father to this baby?”

“You know I do.”

Taking a deep breath, he stuffed down the anger, somehow keeping his tone level when saying, “Then don’t ever imply that I’m not the father again.”

“I wasn’t doing that!”  Allegra jerked away, wiping at the dampness on her face.  She leaned stiffly into the black lacquer baby grand at her back, belligerent tears bubbling back to the surface.

Dammit.

He didn’t want to start a fight, he just wanted her to listen to her heart and believe what it was saying. 

Tenderly cupping her jaw with a patient sigh, he slid a thumb along her cheekbone, even as she tried to retreat from his touch. 

“Yes, you were.  Every time you mourn the fact that we haven’t proven the baby’s paternity, you’re putting it out there that I’m not Bug’s daddy.  And, quite frankly, it hurts my feelings.  I’ve told you a thousand times that I don’t care what the test says, but for some reason you keeping tuning me out.  So listen carefully.  I’m going to say this one more time.” 

He stared directly into the blue eyes that overflowed like cerulean pools, silently demanding that she not look away.  A gentle palm cradled her tummy and he prayed to God that she was finally listening as he spoke from the depths of his heart.   “There is no question in my mind.  This is my baby and I’ll spend the rest of my life loving and providing for it – and you.”

Her slow nod tipped the gathered moisture from her eyes, and Richie kissed away the fresh tear that trailed down her cheek.  “Does this mean you get it now?”

She nodded again, still sniffling.  “I’m sorry.  I know you want us and would never hurt your feelings on purpose.  The hormones are making me crazy.”

“I know they are, darlin’,” he crooned, hauling her into his embrace.  “But Bug will be worth it, I promise.  In the meantime, I’ll be here to help get you through the crazy.”  He planted a quick kiss on top of her head.  “Whaddaya say we go enjoy the day with our friends, okay?”

The tightening of her arms at his waist kept him trapped in place, and her muffled voice drifted up to him.  “Richie?”

“What?”  He liked that she was finally leaning on him.  She was still independent as hell, and he loved that too, but this was nice.  He felt connected to her.

“I think Faith is a pretty name for a girl.”

He grinned and squeezed a little harder.  Damn, she knew just how to touch him.  “I think so, too.”

♥♪♫♥

“Dammit Legs, where have you been?” David fussed, frowning even as he kissed her forehead affectionately.  “Lexi’s new best friend is driving me fucking nuts and Jon is showing no sympathy whatsoever.”

“Sorry, I had a phone call,” she explained, thanking Richie as he held a chair for her under the umbrella at the poolside table.  She gave Jon a smile as she dropped down next to Dot, who was immediately in her ear.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she responded in a comparably quiet voice.  “We’ll talk later.”

“You look like you’ve been crying.  Is Sir Assalot at it again?”

Richie’s face appeared between them, whispering, “No.  He’s not.”

Allegra laughed and pushed him away.  “Go play with David, you big goof.  He obviously needs a shoulder to whine on.”  To Dot she assured, “No, he’s really not.  Damn hormones just make everything bigger than life.”

“Speaking of bigger than life,” Jon mumbled with a nod toward Lexi and a… man who was holding onto her with one arm while a small, fluffy white dog was perched on the other.  Standing, Jon told his wife, “I’m gonna go swim with the kids.”

“Coward,” she called quietly after him.

“We’ll see who is whining on whose shoulder now,” David told Allegra in a hushed tone, looking back and forth between her and Richie.  “Please don’t blame me for this.”

“Allegra!  There you are!” Lexi greeted her with an enthusiastic hug, latching onto her hand as they separated.  “I heard your ring was gorgeous,” she commented, perusing it carefully.  “And David was right.  It’s stunning.  Richie, you did a good job!”  Her approval was accompanied by a greeting kiss on the cheek.

“Allegra seems happy with it, so I will graciously accept the compliment.  Thanks, Lex.” He returned her kiss and held his hand out to her guest.  “Hey, man.  I’m Richie and this is my fiancée, Allegra.  My daughter Ava is the little blonde in the blue bathing suit.”  He nodded in the direction of the pool.

“I was half a step too slow,” Lexi apologized.  “I was just getting ready to introduce you to Kristofer.  Kristofer, this is the couple I was telling you about.  They got engaged last week.”

Allegra was proud of Richie for not laughing in the poor man’s face.  His obviously bleached blonde hair – contrasting starkly with the black Ray-Ban sunglasses perched on the end of his nose – was poofed high and curly in the front while the back swooped into a close-cropped duck tail.  His meticulously pressed Oxford shirt and white tennis shorts were a shocking pink and white, respectively, and each bore razor sharp creases.  The sweater tied jauntily over his shoulders was embellished with a little man on a polo horse and was as snowy white as his tiny dog.  White alligator loafers paired with pink argyle socks rounded out the ensemble.

“That’s Kristofer, with a ‘k’ and an ‘f’,” he clarified, offering his hand in such a way that Allegra wasn’t sure whether Richie was to shake it or kiss his ostentatious pinky ring.  To top it all off, he had a lisp.  His unfortunate speech impediment made his name sound more like ‘Krithtofer’. 

“And thith…” He held up the little dog.  “Ith Jathper.”

Richie, with his wealth of experience in dealing with a diverse public, never let his smile slip.  He merely wrapped his fingers around the limp hand of Lexi’s guest in a brief handshake then patted the dog on the head.  He remarked casually, “Cute dog.  My ex-wife had a couple of Maltese.  Ava still has one.”

Allegra did not possess his aplomb.  In her sheltered little religious world of church and orphans, she’d never been exposed to someone as… flamboyant as Kristofer.  It took all of her concentration and powers of etiquette to keep from bursting into shocked laughter.  She focused intently on her unpainted toenails, mentally choosing a color for them until she could present herself properly.

“Kristofer is planning mine and David’s wedding,” Lexi explained, smiling at the man as though he’d hung the sun in the sky above them.  “He’s simply been a dream to work with, and I wanted you to meet him.  You know, in case you hadn’t already hired a wedding planner.”

“It’s bridal conthulant and event thpecialist, dear.  How many timeth mutht I tell you?”  The words were snarky, but he said it with such a blinding white smile, the sting was minimized. 

Maybe Jon should ask about his dentist, Allegra thought, squinting.  But, then again, maybe his orange-cast skin just made his teeth look whiter.  If ever there was an artificial tan gone wrong, Kristofer was the victim.

“Of course.  I’m sorry, Kristofer.  So what do you think?  Isn’t she going to be a beautiful bride?”  Lexi patted Allegra on the shoulder demonstratively. 

Allegra looked across the table at David, waiting for the punch line.  This had to be one of his practical jokes.  Lexi was a sweet, smart woman.  There was no way she was pushing this…  alternative lifestyle bridal consultant down her throat.

“Oh yeth.  With hith and her dark lookth, I’m feeling gypthy.  You know, like Cher?  Gypthies, trampth and thieveth!”

David coughed forcefully, pushing his chair back.  “I’m coming Lily!” he called to his younger daughter, who looked up in confusion from where she was splashing contentedly with Jake and Romeo.  “Excuse me, Tyger Lily needs me.”

Lexi frowned at him, but didn’t say anything.  “Kristofer that may be awkward.  Richie dated Cher back in the day.”

“Oh really?” he asked interestedly, taking David’s vacated seat and leaning in close.  The little dog circled his lap twice before draping itself across his legs.  “And ith she ath regal ath she theems?  Thuch a clathhy lady.”

Allegra felt a headache coming on.

“Very classy lady,” Richie agreed, seemingly unfazed and completely aweing Allegra.  His social expertise was like nothing she’d ever seen – even Jon couldn’t compete with this – and she was inexplicably proud to be by his side.  “We’re still friends, so yeah, I think a Cher tribute with the potential for Cher to be in attendance may not be the best idea.”

“Cher is coming to our wedding?” she squeaked, ignoring Dot’s chuckle in the background.  “Are you kidding me?”

He just smiled, rubbing a hand along her shoulder blades.  “We hadn’t gotten around to discussing the guest list yet,” he explained to everyone seated around the table before telling Allegra, “That’s up to you, Sunshine.  I’d like to invite her.”

“Yeth, yeth.  Definitely awkward.”  The dainty man cupped his chin.  “With thothe blue eyeth you look Black Irish.  We could do a Celtic theme.  Irish lathe and velvet knickerth.”

“Italian,” she choked out.  “I’m Italian, not Irish.”

“Oh.”  He was deflated for only a moment before exclaiming.  “Renaithance!  Oh my God, can’t you thee it?”  He clasped his hands to his chest with rapture.  “Long, heavy dreththes with the big hipth!  Yeth, that thyle would work famouthly for you, dear.”

Big hips?  She didn’t have big hips!  She was about to give the little gay man that obvious piece of information when Richie leaned in to kiss her temple, breathing, “I’ve got it, baby.”

“Kristofer, it sounds like you have a lot of really spectacular ideas, but Allegra and I have barely decided on a date.  This is her first wedding.”

“Only wedding,” she interjected, earning a delighted grin from her fiancé.

“Only wedding,” he corrected himself.  “I think she’s probably going to want a little while to consider all of her options before nailing down the specifics.  How about we get back to you once she’s had a chance to do that?  I’m sure Lexi has your number, right?”

“Of courthe,” he said, with a dramatic roll of his eyes, clearly offended at being put off, regardless of how politely it had been done.  “It’s your choithe, naturally.  If you decthide thith ith the direction you want to go pleathe call me.  We’ll thee what we can work out.  But I guarantee you won’t find a more pathionate bridal conthultant on the Eatht Coatht.”

“That’s true.  Kristofer wants to make every bride’s dreams come true,” Lexi hurried to make amends as David rejoined the group, Tico and Alejandra in tow.  “It’s probably better to wait until Allegra gets the chance to go through all the preliminary planning material I have for her anyway. Richie, did you bring your Hummer?”

“No, it’s in LA.  Why?”

“To take the planning materials, silly.”  She gestured toward the back door, where Allegra now noticed that there were… two, four, six, eight, ten, TWELVE file boxes neatly stacked.

David was the not-so-joyful recipient of Allegra’s Look of Death, to which he shrugged as if saying, “I asked you not to blame me.”

“Um, Lexi?”  Allegra strove to search for just the right words.  She truly believed David’s fiancée was trying to be thoughtful and helpful, but…  Sweet Mary.  “I thought maybe you would have a few phone numbers and a bridal magazine for me.  I didn’t realize there would be so much.  What’s in those boxes?”

“Well there’s a box for catering, one for centerpieces, flowers, bridal gowns, bridal party wear, bridal party gifts, reception halls, churches, seating charts, jewelry, hair stylists and makeup artists, wedding favors, and invitations.”  She frowned in concentration.  “But I don’t see the one for cakes.  David, did you get the boxes out of all three closets?”

He closed his eyes with a sigh.  “No.  Just your closet and the family room.  Which other one?”

“The upstairs hall.  There should be a box for photographers, too.”

Allegra reached for Richie’s hand and squeezed until there wasn’t any feeling left in her fingers.  Suddenly, getting married didn’t seem like such a good idea.