Chapter 136

“Legs!” was the only warning Allegra had before she was engulfed from behind by a set of brawny arms.    She and Richie had just entered the catering area at the venue, hand in hand, following sound check. 

Although her original plan had been to stay in the suite and work on her assignments, Richie hadn’t wanted to leave her alone after she talked to her father.  Michael had wearily thanked Allegra for her offer to help before wearily informing her there was nothing to be done just yet.  Her mother was being stubborn and refusing to admit that there was a problem.  For the time being he felt like he had the situation under control – at least until he could convince Therese that she needed help.

Allegra, in turn, still hadn’t had a chance to talk to Richie about his long debate in front of the mini-bar and didn’t want to leave his side.  So while he thought she was there so he could keep an eye on her, she was actually there to keep an eye on him. 

Regardless, they were both content being together.  She hadn’t realized just how much she missed him until she’d touched him.  It wasn’t just sex, which was always a good thing.  It was walking together holding hands and living life side by side. 

David’s enthusiastic greeting was quickly followed by, “Aww, shit!”  His arms dropped immediately to his sides and remorse turned his smile downward.  “I forgot I’m not supposed to do that anymore.”

Allegra released Richie’s hand and turned with a delighted grin, popping up on her toes to plant a quick kiss by his ear.  “It’s okay,” she reassured him with a laugh.  “The banshee scream of my name was fair warning enough, and I’m a lot less skittish now.  You don’t have to worry about hitting the floor.”

“The hell he doesn’t,” Richie felt obligated to growl.  He may have accepted their close relationship, but he would continue to remind David that there were established boundaries which shouldn’t be crossed.  “Watch your hands Joker or I’ll be the one putting your ass in the floor.”

“Fuck you.”  David’s arms enfolded Allegra in a more traditional hug, one hand flipping up in a Jersey salute for his friend.

“Step off, Joker.”  Jon’s voice brashly intruded, and he shoved the blonde man aside to snatch Allegra into his own hug.  “Hey, babydoll.  How ya doin’?”

“Dammit Jon that’s all you’ve said to me since she showed up back in February.  ‘Step off, Joker’.  You even got Tico saying it,” he groused, pulling his chair out with a clatter.

“Then you think you’d get the hint after a while,” Tico piped in, with a quick tap to the back of David’s head.

Allegra rolled her eyes and returned Jon’s hug as the others sat down behind them.  “I’m doin’.  How about you?”

“I’m okay.  Glad to see you looking radiant.”  His eyes cut to Richie, who was still busy bickering with his band mate.  “Thank you for coming to fix my guitarist.”

She too slid her eyes to Richie.  He was cackling at a remark of Tico’s that had David scowling.  His eyes were lit up with laughter and he was fully involved with the group, not looking the least bit lost or sad.  Allegra had a feeling that the burden of keeping her mother’s problems a secret had been weighing more heavily on him than anything.  She’d know for sure later tonight, when she broached the subject of his standoff with the mini-bar.

“I think he’s okay,” she ventured, meeting the eyes that mirrored her own.  “He’s been carrying around some…  extra baggage.  Can you find some time to fit me in tomorrow?  I’d like to talk to you about a couple of things.”

“Is everything all right?”

She responded to his concern with a sad smile.  “No, not really, but I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

“Yeah.  Of course.  You can sit with me on the flight back to London.”

“Sunshine?” Richie called in a whiny voice.  “David’s being mean.  Come protect me from his sadistic ways.”

Allegra shook her head in exasperation and approached the empty seat between the two men.  “Jon, I don’t know how you can stand the two of them together all the time.”

“Are you kidding me?” he snorted, holding her chair for her.  “Thank God for earplugs is all I can say.”

♪♫♥♫♪

Richie flipped over on his side, restlessly tugging at the blankets.  He shouldn’t be wide awake and staring out the window at four o’clock in the damn morning.  Allegra was here and, after talking to Michael, she seemed to be handling the news of mother well enough.

His Heather ghost had been exorcised, too.  Allegra had accompanied him up in the Eiffel Tower after the show, the warm wind whipping her hair around her face and giving her a wild, carefree look that made him smile.  It was so at odds with her usual, carefully groomed look that it made him want to take her right there.  The moonless night had felt intimate, despite the few other couples strolling around the observation deck. 

He sighed, punching his pillow.  Of course he hadn’t, but he surely had been tempted.  Instead, they’d made out like a couple of teenagers and he had even managed to cop a feel before she’d laughingly pushed him away.  Worried about someone else seeing them, she’d coerced him into waiting until they got back to the suite.

And then what happened?  They came back to the suite and crawled into bed where Allegra had promptly fallen asleep.  The long day had worn her out and he knew she needed her rest, but he was unaccountably disappointed not to end his day buried deep inside her.

So he had lain here stuck in his own thoughts, running over the thousand text messages Nikki had resorted to since he wouldn’t answer the phone.  Each was a minor catastrophe in itself, together forming an insurmountable wall of ‘stuff’. 

If he couldn’t work out the details of a friggin’ fashion show without going nuts, how was he going to take care of a woman and a baby? 

Rehab had changed him, and he often wondered if it had been for the worse.  Some days he had no confidence in himself, and it felt like he was as fragile as a damn china cup.  How could he be there to support Allegra with Therese’s alcohol dependency if he wasn’t sure he could handle his own? 

Truth be told, Therese’s drunken ramblings were the only thing that had kept him from falling off the wagon in the last couple of weeks.  It was way too familiar, and he didn’t like the way it sounded. 

No, he hadn’t been a mean drunk - more of a sloppy, affectionate drunk sliding into depression.  But he still had rambled on with the most prophetic insights, not understanding why his friends didn’t embrace his beautifully unbridled view of the world.

He snorted, punching at the pillow again in an effort to plump it up under his neck.  His unbridled view of the world was just like fuckin’ Woodstock – all Free Love and Give Peace a Chance without an ounce of discerning wisdom to go along with it. 

Was he really past that?  Was he really worthy of the beautifully strong woman curled up next to him?  Could he take care of her the way she deserved to be taken care of?  Not financially, because God knew she didn’t need or want that, but emotionally.  Could he care for her soul the way she had cared for his?

Dammit.

Richie flopped onto his back like a fish.  These things seemed so much bigger in the dark.  As much as he hated mornings, he was ready for a little daylight.

“Honey, what’s the matter?”

Turning his cheek into the now mangled pillow, he could barely make out the eyes he knew were soft with sleep.  “Nothing baby.  I’m sorry I woke you.  Go back to sleep.”

The sheets rustled as she scooted across the mattress to drape her arm across his chest.  Pliant lips pressed against the stubbly underside of his jaw.  “No, I’m sorry I fell asleep.  Jet lag must have caught up with me.”

“Mm.  It can be a bitch.”

He smothered a groan at her cotton draped breasts pressing against him.  Deserving of her or not, he was a slave to her touch and her earlier offer sprang to mind.  Why hadn’t he taken her up on it when he had the chance?

“I’m proud of you,” she murmured, nuzzling into his neck.

Considering that his mind was surfing the gutter at the moment, nothing she said could have come as more of a surprise.  “How come?”

“Because you wanted that drink earlier today and didn’t take it.”

“You saw that, huh?”  Busted.

Her hair slithered enticingly against his shoulder with her nod.  “Wanna tell me why it was so tempting?”

He didn’t.  Not really.  But her muzzy sleep-voice was so reassuring and completely devoid of condemnation.  He trailed his fingers through the dark waves that draped his chest.

“Just overwhelmed,” was what he settled on.

“With what?  Nikki?  Heather?  My mother?  Me?  The baby?  Jon?  The tour?”

“Yes?” he asked with a chuckle.  “Individually, none of them are that bad.   It sucks for me that they just happened to all collide.  I know you’ve heard this before, but I’ll get better at the fashion show thing.  It will be totally manageable next time, I promise.”

“It will if you would set some ground rules with Nikki.”

“I know, I know.”   He was going to have to be an asshole, and he really didn’t want to.  Nikki was a nice kid and she had some good ideas, just not all the business sense that would enable the ideas to come to fruition.  Then again, at her age, he hadn’t a fuckin’ clue about business either.  He’d been lost in the music letting somebody else take care of it – namely Jon.

“You can set ground rules and still be the nice guy.”

She scared him sometimes, the way she read his mind.

“I’ll work on it.”

Allegra folded her hands over his heart, resting her chin on top of them as she regarded him in the darkness.  “Can I make an observation?”

“Sure.”

“I see you like you were today, floundering on the edge of surrender, and it breaks my heart.  You think if you can escape then the problems will magically fix themselves while you’re gone.  It’s like you want somebody else to fix them because you don’t trust yourself.”

How was he supposed to respond to that?  ‘Rehab fucked up the way I think and made me believe I make lousy decisions?’

“Richie, I may not have much faith nowadays, but there is one thing – one person – that I have the utmost faith in, and that’s you.   Every decision I’ve seen you make is a sound one.  Trust yourself.  You know what’s right for you, your business and the people you care about.  Don’t wait for somebody else to fix what’s under your control.  Step up and exert some authority.”

He searched her face in the shadows for signs of mockery or smugness, but they weren’t there.  Her encouragement wasn’t another empty platitude like so many he’d been offered in recent years, it was genuine and heartfelt.   She believed what she was saying.

 “You really believe that.”

“Of course I do.”

When was the last time anyone had placed such unwavering faith in him?  Surely someone had at some point, but it felt so long ago that he couldn’t recall.  Right now, he couldn’t even be bothered to try.  Nothing mattered more than being the center of this remarkable woman’s world.

“And that includes exerting authority over you?”

Her nipples pebbled, pressing against him in reaction to the softly growled question.

“In the bedroom?  Absolutely,” she breathed.

“That’ll do for now.”