Ninety-Five

“How… how is that possible?” she sputtered in disbelief, even as all the air rushed from her lungs.  “I had a period less than a month ago.”

“Sometimes what appears to be a regular menstrual period is actually something entirely different,” Dr. Shively explained.  “Based on what you’ve told me, it was a lighter, shorter period than usual, leading me to believe you were actually experiencing something called implantation bleeding.   It’s caused by the fertilized egg burrowing into the blood-rich lining of the uterus. It's generally a lot lighter than a typical period and lasts just a day or two.”

A numbing coldness seeped into her mind, heart and limbs.  She could do nothing but stare blankly at the calendar on the far wall as her thoughts echoed in her head.

Five weeks.  The condom broke five weeks ago TODAY.  The rape was four weeks and six days ago. 

This couldn’t be happening.  She’d already worked her way through to the other side of this particular nightmare.  She was just here for birth control and a clean bill of health.  That’s all.  There had to be some kind of mistake.

That’s it.  A mistake.

Part of her knew that it was completely irrational, but hope had her eyes wildly reconnecting with the doctor’s and she clutched at her arms with unknowing strength.

“Are you sure?  Are you positive?”

Dr. Shively radiated compassion, but it was evident that she was standing by her prognosis.  Easing herself from Allegra’s grip, she affirmed, “I’m afraid so. The urine sample you gave us indicated positive for pregnancy hormones, and the ultrasound enabled me to determine the age of the fetus.”

“Oh my God...” she whispered, as her mind raced.  What was she going to do?

“I know this is difficult, dear, but I have to ask.  With sexual assault as a factor, are you considering termination of the pregnancy?”

Termination of the pregnancy. 

Allegra forcibly pushed down the contents of her stomach with a gulp.  Whatever happened from this point forward, abortion was no more an option than the morning after pill had been.

“No.  We had a birth control accident the night before the rape, so it could be my boyfriend’s baby.”  Allegra’s eyes dulled as she bleakly pronounced, “I won’t take the risk of killing our child.”

“And unfortunately, paternity testing isn’t viable until the twelfth week,” the doctor sympathized.  “Your next appointment will be in a month, and we can discuss it then, once you’ve had a little more time to adjust.  You take as long as you need in here.  The nurse will schedule the appointment and give you a vitamin prescription whenever you’re ready.”  She squeezed her hand one last time before quietly exiting the room. 

Her hand crept over her stomach with a mind of its own, subconsciously looking for some evidence of what she’d been told, but instead of proof it gave her a memory.  It was of the night that the condom broke, and a vision of Richie’s big hand cradling her tummy so protectively. 

Tears flooded her eyes as she wished time had stopped that night, in that tender moment.  Mistake or not, he’d made her feel like it was going to be all right.  She longed for that feeling again.  Longed to crawl into his arms and convince her everything was exactly as it should be.

But she didn’t have that right.

Stop it.

There was no time to do this now.  Gus would be storming the building any minute if she didn’t get out of here.  Somehow between now and then, she also had to figure out a way to pretend that her world hadn’t just tipped off its axis. 

With shaking hands, she swiped the tears away and slid off the exam table, one word flashing like a neon sign in her mind.

Pregnant.

Stoically straightening her spine, she gathered her emotions into a nice, tight container and prayed that it would hold until she could get home.  After that, all bets were off. 

♫♥♫

Once in the car, Gus asked politely about her appointment, seemingly unaware that anything unusual had transpired in the downtown building behind them.

“It was fine, thank you.”  She infused as much enthusiasm into the sentiment as she could muster. 

A man of few words, Gus merely grunted and pulled into traffic.  “Headed home or back to the office?”

Checking her watch, she was that it was four o’clock.  She was almost finished with the outline and details of the Soul Kitchen project, but there was no point in pretending she could concentrate on it.  Keeping her thoughts at bay for an hour or so was doable, but when the silence of her office closed around her…

“Home, please.”

He obligingly pointed the vehicle in that direction. 

The short trip was spent gazing sightlessly out the side window, purposefully fighting to keep her mind blank.  The only thing to catch her attention was a young woman turning the corner at Richie’s building.  She was both pregnant and pushing a stroller.

Allegra blinked rapidly and groping for the door handle and wrenching it open in her haste to get out of the vehicle.

“Are you in for the evening, or should I hang around?” Gus inquired after her.

The wind carried her voice back into the car, as she had already stepped out onto the sidewalk.  “I’m in for the evening.  Thank you, Gus.” 

She slammed the car door and hurried into the building, seeking the solitude that the condo would provide.

♫♥♫

Finally she was inside the apartment, away from prying eyes.  Throwing her purse on the kitchen counter, she was drawn as always, to the bank of windows overlooking the city.  Down below, traffic was picking up as the working populace began the evening trek back to their homes.

A baby.

Overcome, she again placed her palm over the flat spot that would bloom with proof of the life growing inside her.

She was going to be a mother. 

A tiny, helpless baby was in there, completely and totally dependent on everything she did.  A part of her.  How could she possibly be unhappy about that? 

The answer was, she couldn’t. 

No, the baby wasn’t the source of the panic and distress that were beginning to claw their way to the surface.

Her hand pressed a little tighter as the tears she’d thought were gone began to roll down her cheeks.

It was the fact that she was going to have do to this alone.

She collapsed into the sofa, wearily resting her cheek against the plush red fabric.  The vast Philadelphia skyline still lay before her, but all she could see was Richie’s face.   Glowing  with excitement when the condom broke and he thought they’d made a baby.  Drawn in apprehension and disapproval when she wouldn’t take the morning after pill.  Relieved when she started her period.

Richie wanted a child, but he understandably wanted HIS child, and she couldn’t guarantee that’s what he’d get by staying with her.

Hot tears dripped from her eyelashes, plopping softly onto her bare hands, folded in her lap.  It wasn’t fair to wish he’d stay anyway.  Wasn’t fair to ask him.

Undeniably, he WOULD stay because he thought it was the right thing to do.  That’s just the type of man he was – he DID the right thing.  It was one of the things she loved most.

Which would be just fine if it turned out to be his baby. 

But what if it wasn’t?

As much as he would try to shun it, resentment would gradually build toward both her and the baby.  He would think time and again that if she’d just listened to him and taken Matt along, this wouldn’t have happened.  Or if she’d just listened to him and taken that pill, they wouldn’t be suffering this way.  That it was HER stubbornness got them into this mess.

And he would be right on all counts. 

It WAS her fault, and it was only right that SHE pay the consequences.

The individual tear drops turned into a steady flow, and her shoulders began to heave with depth of her sorrow.   Loneliness draped around her like a thick dark cloak, leaving her with only the bickering voices in her head for company. 

You knew this was a chance you were taking. 

I thought it was over already.

You should have known something wasn’t right with that last period.

HOW should I have known?

You’re a woman.  You know your body.

I think Richie would want to know.

Know what?  That there’ a 50/50 chance you’re carrying some psycho’s love child?

But it might be HIS!

Yeah.  Asking him to stay with you on the chance of ‘might’ is fair.

What am I supposed to do??

You do whatever you have to, but don’t make him pay for your selfishness.

I love him!

If you love him, you’ll do what’s BEST for him.

Ultimately, the argument ended with the same conclusion she’d already come to.  Her nose was stuffed up and her head throbbed, but it was nothing compared to the ache in her heart knowing what she would have to do.

Rising from the couch, she went into the bathroom to grab some tissues, pausing to blow her nose and wipe at her eyes before crawling fully-clothed into the big bed.  Curling into a fetal position, she stared out the window, watching and thinking as the daylight became dusk and turned to dark.

When the phone rang late that night, she reached for it with trembling fingers, knowing who was on the other end.

“Hello?” she answered around the lump in her throat. 

“How’s my girl?”

In that instant, his voice was a soothing balm that had the power to heal everything wrong in her world.  For a split second she wasn’t anything but a woman loved and in love.  How was she going to let this go? 

“I’m okay, how are you?”  She heard the hollow echo of her words, but had no power to control it.

It would have benefitted her to try a little harder.  She knew how emotionally intuitive he was, not just with her, but all of them, and his radar was right on target tonight.   Richie’s concern was immediate and complete.  “You don’t sound okay.  What’s wrong?” he probed gently. 

“Nothing,” she lied, silently praying for forgiveness.  “I’m just not feeling well.”

“Are you sick?  Running a fever?”

God, why does he have to be so sweet?  I can’t do this.

“No, no fever.  I’m sure I’ll be fine.”   Someday.

The emotions began trying to crowd their way out again, and she didn’t know how long she could hold them back.  A break down while she was on the phone certainly wasn’t going to help.  What was she going to do?

“Okay.  If you’re sure…?”

“Richie, I’m sorry.  I guess I forgot to charge my phone and it’s beeping at me.  I’m gonna have to go.”  Sniffing softly, she bid herself to hang onto control for just ONE more minute.

“Can’t you just plug-“

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.  Good night.”

She hurriedly tapped the button and disconnected the call.  With a strangled cry of despair, the phone went sailing across the bed and she buried her face into the pillow, sobbing.  How could she walk away from him?  How would she survive it?

Richie looked at the small screen with a frown of confusion, but the ‘call ended’ message left no room for doubt.  She’d hung up.

Okay, that was weird.  Why didn’t she just plug it in while we talked? 

Disappointed, he put his phone on the nightstand and tried to figure out what the hell just happened.  Naturally, as a man, his first thought for any type of irrational behavior was PMS.

He quickly tried to count.  She’d started her last period the day before the first Philly show on March 23, which meant she should start…  That was it.  She probably started.

At least it makes sense that it doesn’t make sense, Richie thought with a chuckle.  Looks like it will be a delayed welcome home.

Grimacing, he selfishly hoped that she had gotten the new birth control before she started her period.  A nice, romantic marriage proposal followed by sex the way God intended was his ultimate fantasy at the moment, and he wanted to indulge at the first opportunity.

I’ll call to check on her tomorrow at work and ask about the doctor.  Shit.  I can’t believe I didn’t remember.  That’s what I get for being obsessed over finding the perfect ring.

Grinning at the small jeweler’s box resting next to his phone, he reached over and turned out the light before flipping to his stomach.  With back-to-back shows and a sex marathon looming on the horizon, he should try and get some sleep while he could.

Good night, Sunshine.  I love you.

Chapter 94

Richie slid into the back of the car with a Cheshire cat grin on his face. 

“Back to the hotel, please,” he instructed the driver, sitting back into the black leather seat .

After diligently searching the past three cities, he’d finally found the perfect ring in Miami, of all places.  He didn’t even know he would be in Miami, but there were a couple days off between the Sunrise and Nashville shows, and it was in close proximity.  Not as close as Fort Lauderdale, but they steered well clear of Fort Lauderdale ever since the MTV Spring Break thing back in the day.  

Richie shuddered at the hangover memories.

He’d cajoled, wheedled, bribed, and pleaded with Allegra in hopes that she would join him for the weekend in Florida, but she flatly refused, saying she needed to work.  Apparently she had some kind of project that she wanted well underway before the upcoming tour break.  Putting in the hours now meant that she would have more free time while he was off, she said. 

He understood and appreciated the thought, but was still disappointed.  He probably didn’t hide his disappointment all that well either, considering that she told him he was pouting like a spoiled little boy.

She’s gonna be the one who’s spoiled very soon, was his delighted thought looking at the jeweler’s bag on the seat next to him.

It had been a challenge to find something that was extravagant enough to suit him and simple enough to suit her, but he thought he’d found the perfect combination in an ‘antique-style designer engagement ring’.  Whatever.  It was only two carats, but ornately set and would look nice sitting next to a diamond wedding band when the time came.

The only debate was whether to let Jon see the ring now, or make him wait. 

Who was he kidding?  He was like a kid with a new toy, and he wanted his friend’s approval almost as much as he did Allegra’s.   Of course, Jon was going to give him hell just because… well, just because that’s what Jon did.  But they’d talked enough that Richie knew he had his buddy’s full support on this one.

Another grin stole across his face, as something occurred to Richie for the first time.  He and Jon would officially be family now, in that complicated ‘by marriage’ sort of way.  Not that it mattered.  No legality could make them any closer than they already were.

Now, Allegra, he could stand being closer to, he thought with a smirk. 

The separation was almost over, though.  A show in Nashville tomorrow night, Charlotte the night after, and the band was free for almost a month.   He planned to put the time to good use, spending as much time as possible with his – thinking optimistically – fiancée.

They’d talked every night since she moved into the condo, and most nights the conversations had become decidedly intimate.  His biggest surprise was that SHE had been the initiator more often than not.  Even if she didn’t blatantly instigate it, she ever-so-casually asked him to sing for her.   Something bluesy.

Knowing exactly what she was up to, he would make sure and pick a little Bad Company, Clapton or anything else he could infuse with a growl to fire her up.  He’d even dug way down deep for a little Marvin Gaye.  No woman’s libido could withstand Let’s Get It On, done the right way.

Toward the end of the week, he’d even arranged for a ‘personal’ delivery from an exclusive adult boutique.  He grinned remembering her pretended outrage.  Curiosity had eventually won out over indignation, but she was adamant about not taking it from the package until they were together.

He didn’t have a problem with that, and was even looking forward to it.  But it might be a few days before they got around to needing anything but each other.

No doubt about it, his Sunshine had developed an insatiable appetite that he was anxious to satisfy – up close and personal.

♫♪♫♥♫♪♫

The Miami sunshine was scorching, but there was something about baking on a bed of sand next to some polluted water that made it enjoyable.  It was a rare day off in the Bon Jovi camp, and David had run for the beach before Jon could schedule some stupid press thing to fill the time.    

Ball cap placed firmly over his curls and sunglasses in place, he was as nondescript as any other sun seeker on a Tuesday afternoon.  The huge Joker tattoo on his right pec made him a LITTLE more noticeable, but there was nothing to be done about that.

He carefully slathered it in sunscreen to protect the artwork that had personified him for over twenty years.   It still looked great after all that time because he took such good care of it. 

The Joker ink now protected from the evil UV rays, he wiped the excess sunscreen from his hands and pulled out his phone. 

Legs will appreciate my latest fan interaction, he thought with a grin before firing off the text message.

Saw a woman wearing a shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"  It didn’t go well.  Will need TLC when I see you!

Okay, maybe she wouldn’t appreciate it, but it would be a distraction from her doctor’s appointment today.  From the things she’d said, Allegra hated doctors almost as much as he did, so she had his full sympathy.

David was beginning to suspect that she had more than that.

Lexi’s comments over the last break had stuck with him, and he tried to become more aware of his attentions to Allegra.  He’d been making a concentrated effort to note how many times her name passed his lips, or he called, texted, or communicated with her in some way. 

Turns out it was a lot.

It hadn’t seemed excessive to him, because it was only about every tenth thought that prompted those actions.  If there was outward evidence every time he thought of her, she’d place a restraining order. 

She was always on his mind.

He grimaced and groaned silently at the unintentional reference, forcibly putting wrinkly old men with pigtails from his mind. 

Former nuns with ponytails were far more agreeable.

She was bright, witty, compassionate, sexy, spunky as hell… and she drew him like a magnet.  Lately he couldn’t keep from compulsively texting her all day, every day.  He craved whatever connection he could get, no matter how insignificant.

Flipping over on his stomach, David acknowledged that had no idea what the hell he was trying to do here.  She belonged to one of his best friends – who he would never consider betraying –  whom she was head over heels in love with.  He had no right to be enamored with this woman. 

But he was.

If she and Rich ever split up…

David let the thought go unfinished.  He already wondered if he and Lexi should reconsider their engagement.   After all, if another woman could capture his attention so completely, was he really in love with her?

Fuck if he knew. 

He just knew when he closed his eyes it was a brunette, not a blonde who filled his mind.

♫♪♫♥♫♪♫

Could there possibly be anything more awkward than taking a bodyguard to the gynecologist?

Gus was driving Allegra to her appointment when the reality of what was about to happen washed over her.  There was no way she could sit with him in a waiting room decorated with models of the female reproductive system. 

It wasn’t happening.

He had no idea where they were going today, and she would prefer to keep it that way.

They had managed to work through the uncomfortable ‘I’m your new shadow’ phase in the last couple of weeks, eventually coming to an understanding that was mutually agreeable.   He was more than willing to allow her some space as long as he could be assured that the area was secure.  

“Gus, I really need to go to this appointment alone,” she broached the subject, leaning forward over the seat to be heard.  “Can we work something out?” 

“Have you ever been here before?”

“Well, no.”

“I’m sorry, Allegra, but you know the rules.  I can’t let you go into an unsecure area alone, especially a new place.”

She seriously didn’t want to look him in the face after stepping out of that little room, both of them knowing what went on in there.  The mental image of paper gown trailing along behind her, stuck to the bottom of her shoe, made her a little desperate.

“Please, Gus,” she beseeched, placing her hand on his shoulder.  “I absolutely hate this whole security detail, but you know I’ve tried to be cooperative for your sake.   This means a lot to me.  Isn’t there some way to make it happen?”

He put the car in park, and pivoted around in the seat so that he could see her.  “You know they’ll have my ass if something happens to you.”

Allegra gave him her most charming smile.  “But nothing will happen.  I promise.” 

He rolled his eyes.  “If you could guarantee that, I’d be out of a job,” he informed her drily before going all secret service man on her.  “Okay, here’s the deal.  Text me as soon as you get to your appointment.  If I don’t hear from you within five minutes of you leaving the car, I’m coming in.  Same deal after the appointment.  Text, and you have five minutes to be back in the car.  Do we have an understanding?”

Giddy with relief, Allegra couldn’t help herself from bussing his cheek with a light kiss.  “We do indeed.  Hopefully this won’t be more than an hour,” she called over her shoulder as she exited the vehicle.

Artfully dodging pedestrian traffic on the sidewalk, she entered the huge glass building and made a beeline for the elevator.  In less than two minutes she had arrived at her destination and written her name on the sign-in sheet.

Pulling out her phone, she selected a seat near the window and tapped out the required message.

I’m here and safe.

She didn’t get the phone tucked into her purse before it vibrated with his response.

Stay that way.  You have an hour.  ;)

Smiling, she was glad this man had been the one chosen to keep an eye on her.  There was no question that he was efficient and dedicated to his assignment, but he still made every effort to respect her privacy and desire for a ‘normal’ life. 

“Allegra Castanelli.”

Redirecting her smile to the nurse that beckoned her, she rose and followed her through the doorway into the honeycomb of examination rooms that it had been hiding. 

Here we go.

In immediate response, butterflies fluttered to life in her stomach, and continued to swarm until she’d given the required urine sample and was robed in a paper gown, awaiting the doctor’s arrival.

With a brisk knock, the door opened, and in stepped a tall, thin, woman with close cropped gray hair.  She extended her hand to Allegra with a warm smile and handshake.  “Ms. Castanelli, I’m Dr. Shively.  It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s Allegra, and thank you for fitting me into your schedule so quickly.”

Her previous doctor was in central New Jersey, and Allegra had thought it made more sense to find one in Philadelphia, closer to her new home.

“I’m glad we were able to accommodate you.”  The doctor sat on the rolling examination stool and thoughtfully reviewed the paperwork Allegra had completed while she was waiting.  “I see that you’re here for an annual exam.  Does everything seem normal from your perspective?  You’ve noted that your last period was March 22^nd, is that correct?”

“I think everything’s fine,” she said, mentally calculating.   “I’ve recently become sexually active, and was interested in finding out about birth control options.  That date is correct, yes.”

Dr. Shively made some notations, inquiring further, “And that was normal?  No heavier or lighter than usual?  No shorter or longer?”

Allegra’s forehead wrinkled with worry as she recalled the details.  “It was… a little lighter I guess, and only lasted two or three days.” 

Seeing her frown, Dr. Shively patted her knee and smiled reassuringly.  “Things start changing when we approach the dreaded forty year milestone.  I wouldn’t be too concerned.” 

She nodded in relief, grateful that the doctor had taken the time to reassure her.

“You said recently sexually active.  Am I to take that to mean you had a prolonged abstinence?”

“I guess you could say that,” Allegra laughed.  “I was a virgin until two months ago.”

“Yes, that would definitely be a prolonged abstinence ,” she agreed with a grin.  “I can see that the more traditional means of birth control would lose its appeal pretty rapidly.   At your age, I have some serious reservations about many of the popular options, but we can discuss all that after your exam.  Are you finding that there’s any discomfort during intercourse?”

“No.  As far as I know, everything is just as it should be.”

“Good!  Now is there anything else I should know before we start?”  She flipped the chart closed, rolling over to place it on the counter, and rising to wash her hands.

Not that I want to talk about, but it’s probably relevant.

“I should probably mention that I was sexually assaulted on St. Patrick’s Day.”

Dr. Shively’s head whipped around with a puzzled frown.  “You say that so casually.”

Allegra grimaced, and shrugged her shoulders.  “It drives my family crazy, but I was unconscious while the actual rape took place and don’t remember anything about it.  It’s not real to me, but I thought you might need to know.”

“Hopefully nothing happened that’s left lasting signs of trauma, but I’m glad you shared it with me.”

The doctor donned her examination gear and summoned the nurse to assist, and everything progressed quickly from there.  Allegra heard a few quiet ‘hmms’, but other than that, Dr. Shively spoke only murmured instructions to the nurse.

All of the appropriate scraping and poking completed, she heard the examination stool roll back, and the doctor rounded the table to stand at her side.

“Allegra, I’ve gotten the cell samples for your testing, but I’m finding something unexpected.  Have you had intercourse since your assault?”

Her stomach plummeted, and she felt all the color drain from her face.  Oh God, she’s found something wrong that they didn’t see in Detroit.  Something irreparable that will prevent me from having children.  Prevent US from having children.

“Yes.  Multiple times.  Is something wrong?”  Allegra couldn’t keep the quiver out of her voice as she conjured up all the worst possible scenarios.  Cysts, polyps, infertility.  Cancer.

“No, I don’t think so,” was the ambiguous reply.  “But I’d like to do an intra-uterine ultrasound to confirm.  Okay?”

She clamped her lips tightly closed and nodded her head, listening to Dr. Shively resume her position at the foot of the table and bring the ultrasound machine to life.  Allegra stiffened and focused intently on the ceiling tiles as she felt the probe being inserted.

“This will be much easier if you can relax a little,” the nurse advised kindly, with a pat to her hand.  “You probably won’t feel much of anything.”

Releasing her pent up breath, she nodded, willing the lower half of her body to un-tense.  Pressing her eyelids together, she sought to picture Richie’s hand wrapped tightly around hers, his quietly amused voice whispering suggestive things in her ear – much as he had in Seattle during her tattoo touch-up.

The fingers of her left hand slipped up from the examination table’s surface to blanket the little dove and its message of Hope and Love.

I love you.

She willed the words across the miles that separated them, hoping desperately that he knew just how much it was true. 

Latex gloves snapped, and the metal waste can lid flipped up with a clang.  “Okay, Allegra, you can sit up now.”

Removing her feet from the dreaded stirrups, she clutched the paper gown around her and scooted into an upright position, her eyes filled with anxious questions.  “Is everything okay?”

Dr. Shively’s smile was noncommittal.  “Why don’t you get dressed, and we can talk in my office?  The nurse will show you the way in just a few minutes.”

“Honestly, you’ve got me so worried that I don’t think I can wait a few minutes.  Can’t you just tell me now?  Is there damage from the rape?” 

Sighing, the doctor stepped close enough to put her hand on Allegra’s shoulder and offer an encouraging squeeze.  “No.  I can’t see any lingering damage from the assault.”

The weight in her chest magically disintegrated, and she felt almost dizzy with relief.  Allegra covered her heart with her hand and willed it to stop beating so frantically.  It was okay.  She could breathe again. 

Up until the moment she read the doctor’s face. 

Though her features gave away nothing, Dr. Shively’s somber eyes told of something that Allegra knew she didn’t want to hear, but had to.

“Then…what is it?”

The hand on her shoulder squeezed again, and held.  “Allegra, it appears as though you’re almost five weeks pregnant.”

Ninety-Three

Allegra’s arms and back were of no more good to her than limp pasta.  After Dot and Jesse left, she’d spent the entire evening rearranging the closet and bedroom.  While it was true that she didn’t have that many clothes, she kept stumbling on a ‘better’ way to organize them.  More likely, she was trying to keep her mind focused on something other than being alone in a strange place.

Regardless, her clothes were organized to within an inch of their lives, and she had the bed positioned in the corner, just as she’d wanted.  The nightstands stood alongside and the dressers and television had been redistributed to eat up the remaining space around the room.

Now all she needed to do was wash away the grimy film that coated her body.  It may take every last ounce of energy she had left, but she was going to shower and wash her hair. 

An hour later, she was resting on the bed, whining to herself.  The shower had been fine.  Washing her hair had been fine.  But the blow drying pushed her beyond her limit.  She could barely hold her head up. It was late, she hurt and was tired.

Sprawled across the width of the bed, she was just about to drift off into a contented sleep when her cellphone rang and vibrated on the nightstand.  The abrupt noise jarred her aching muscles into an angry state of discontent, and her mood followed suit.  

“Dammit,” she mumbled, groping clumsily to silence the horrible thing.  Her finger made the necessary contact, but she wasn’t exactly feeling sociable when she snarled, “What?”

“Hi, baby.”

The billows of irritation deflated in an instant at the soft words, rapidly replaced by guilt.  Richie was just calling to check in after the show, like he always did.  Like she wanted him to.

She made a conscious effort to curb the edge in her own voice.  “Hey, sweetie.  I’m sorry I snapped at you.  How was the show?”

“It was good.  Dallas loves us, even two shows in a row.”

“As long as you mean the city and not a woman, that’s great,” she teased.

“Of course not.  I’ve only got eyes for my grumpy Sunshine,” he assured her with a chuckle.  “So, what’s the matter?  Rough day?  Did you have trouble getting moved in?”

She groaned as she reached push the hair from her forehead.  “No trouble, I just spent the evening rearranging things and I’m sore and worn out.”

“Why are YOU sore?  I thought Jesse was helping with all that?”

“He did, but I got bored after he and Dot left.  I spent two hours rearranging the closet, and then decided the bed would be perfect in the window corner.  So, like the stubborn idiot I am,  I moved the furniture around a little at a time until I got it there.”

 

“You wanna look out over Philly when we make love, huh?”

Her tummy rippled at the husky drawl to his voice.  “I hadn’t thought of that, but it does sound nice.”

“Why don’t you turn over on your side and look out that window now, while I rub your back for you, baby.” 

She hoped that he hadn’t hoped to relax her with that particular sexy grumble, because the result was exactly the opposite – it set her nerve endings on edge.

“You’re not allowed to use that tone of voice when you can’t satisfy the promise it makes,” she protested, even as she flipped over to comply.  “It’s not fair.”

“Whaat?  You can’t feel my fingers kneading those tight muscles in your neck and shoulders?  Feel yourself turn to putty when I work my fingers up into your hair and massage your scalp?  I know you’d melt when I rub my fingers along your spine until the knots give way.”

She groaned, nestling herself deeper into the mattress that suddenly cradled her like a cloud.  “How can you make all that happen with just words?  Nobody should be able to will things into existence.”

“Good karma, baby,” he informed her with a suggestive chuckle.  “Right now you’re snuggling down into those soft sheets, wiggling that sexy ass of yours, right where my crotch would be if I was there in the bed.  You don’t think I know it, but you’re still practicing your feminine wiles.  It tickles you to death that so little can ramp me up so fast.”

Color bloomed, making her cheeks glow like shiny red apples.  He was right.   She kept waiting for him to lose interest, or stop humoring her, but it didn’t happen.  Her slightest touch – especially there – and he was ready to go.  It was a heady feeling.

“I’m hard just thinking about your sweet little bottom up against my crotch.” 

“Really?” she breathed, clenching her thighs together in an attempt to relieve the ache that instantly bloomed there.  All the times they’d talked over the phone while he was on the road and she’d never thought the first time about sex talk, even when he’d tried to steer the conversation that way.  But tonight…  She was in ‘his’ bed and her imagination and hormones were in overdrive.

“Hell yeah!  There’s a nice little tent pitched in the sheets here.”

Those sheets rustled, and she visualized him settling down in the bed.

“Are you…”  Her voice trembled and she stopped, teeming with uncertainty.   

He liked the Jersey Girl.  This is nothing compared to that.  Come on, Allegra.

“Am I what, baby?”  he persuaded, intrigued at whatever question she’d felt the need to censor.  Her deep inhalation of air rattled prominently over the line.

“Naked,” she blurted.  “What are you wearing?”

Christ.  Is she really going there?  His earlier comment about a tented sheet may have been a slight exaggeration, but she’d just made an honest man of him.  His black boxer-briefs became distinctly uncomfortable, and he tucked the phone into his shoulder, freeing both hands to shove them down  his hips. 

Kicking them to the floor, he said as calmly as possible, “I’m not wearing a thing, but a hard-on and a hopeful smile.  Are you gonna help me with that?”

“That depends,” she told him, warming to the idea considerably.  “Are you gonna finish that massage?”

“You mean the one where you’re cradling my dick between your ass cheeks?”

Her raspy chuckle made his balls tighten in anticipation.  “Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Can’t you just feel it pressing into you?  So eager to slide inside and make you scream?”

She flexed her hips again, thighs firmly together, rocking back and forth to exert the right amount of pressure on the suddenly hypersensitive nub.  “Mm-hmm.”

“Lift your leg a little for me,” he coaxed.  “I just want to put the head in to see what you feel like skin-on-skin.  No rubber.  Just me and you.”

She inhaled through her nose, separating her legs as he asked.  If she kept her eyes tightly closed, she could pretend that he was here, whispering in her ear.  Sort of like the day she surprised him in Detroit, and he took control.

Allegra shivered at that memory.

“Can you feel it spread you wide?  I’m always afraid I’m going to split you in two, yet your pussy makes just enough room for me in there.  Like it’s been waiting for me.”

“More…” she breathed, her mind readily accepting the scenario he was creating.  The dampness was trickling along her inner thighs already. 

“I don’t think I can stop there, baby,” he continued, quickly becoming immersed in what they were doing.  The vision of her hair spread across his pillows as her naked body writhed with pleasure at his words made his teeth sweat.  “I want to slide all the way home with my cock until you think you’re going to explode.  Do you want that?”

 “Pleassse…”

Richie’s hand lightly grazed the hair at the base of his shaft.  He wasn’t going to jack off over the phone, but he couldn’t keep from touching the tickle that had begun there.

“My hands are going to need to hold your hips steady.  I don’t want you bouncing away from me when I get rowdy and pump a little too hard.”

“I’ll hold still,” she promised breathlessly.  “I need your hands someplace else.”

His thumb swiped the drop of fluid from the tip of his shaft, and he couldn’t keep a tiny moan from escaping. 

She’s gonna have me jacking off like a teenager, and liking it.

“Where?”

“My clit is begging for you to touch it.”

Son of a bitch.  The pulse at the base of his shaft began to throb in earnest, and his fingers curled around its girth with a mind of their own.  

“I’m gonna need your help with that, baby.  You touch it for me, and tell me how it feels.”

Her hesitation lasted no longer than the blink of an eye, the need for release trumping any twinge of self-consciousness she may have.  It wasn’t like he was watching her, and if he was, so what?  She’d done it for him before, and he’d liked it.

Unerring fingers slid into the dark thatch of curls, eagerly seeking the source of need that was hidden there.  A hiss of relief escaped in the instant she made contact with the honeyed silk that represented her womanhood.

“Talk to me,” he reminded her gruffly, still being stubborn enough to refuse the call his body was placing.  He was determined not to jerk off, and a series of gentle compressions  from his palm were helping him stick to that.

“It’s so silky soft,” she cooed.  “I can feel each individual fold and they’re so slippery.  My fingers are gliding so easily that I almost can’t get enough friction to make it feel good.”

Richie stifled a moan in the back of his throat.  “Pinch your clit very lightly, then rub it back and forth between your fingertips.”

“Pinch it?”

“Between your thumb and forefinger,” he confirmed.  “Then hold the pressure and rub your clit between them.”

A gasp was torn from her, and he knew she’d followed his instructions. 

“Now let go and flick it gently with your fingertip,” he ordered gruffly.

Her reply was a purr as she brushed lightly against the nerve endings.  Allegra had become increasingly familiar with the art of masturbation, especially by this point in their relationship, but their intimate relationship was one area she eagerly let him dictate.  Everything he’d guided her into had ended in nothing but pleasure, and she was willing to do anything he asked without question.

“I can feel the sparks shooting through my body,” she breathed, continuing the light ministrations and allowing herself to get swept up in the feeling.

“Good girl.  Now take your middle finger and press directly on your clit.  Don’t rub, just press.  Then slide that same finger down along your slit and inside you.”  His hand slipped a little when she sucked in a breath at the intrusion of her finger into her warm center. 

But he wasn’t jerking off.

“Now feel around until you find the little rough patch of skin against the front wall of your vagina.  You might have to reach back a ways to find it.  Rub it HARD.”

She gasped in surprise.  “Richie, I’m drenched.  I’ve never, ever been so wet.”

Her innocent surprise had his hand doing exactly what he’d vowed he wouldn’t do, and the friction felt awfully damn good against his aching erection.

“Baby, that’s what it’s gonna be like if we ever have sex without a rubber.  I’m gonna flood you with my hot, creamy cum until you can’t hold any more.”

His bawdy declaration pushed her up and over the peak in one swift motion.  Stars exploded behind Allegra’s eyes and her hips bucked against her hand, revisiting the white-hot sensation she’d experienced when the condom had broken.

“Richie!”

He pumped furiously, incensed by the hoarse cry of his name on her lips. 

“Yes, yes, yesssss,” she moaned, relishing every last bump in the ride he’d sent her on.

That, combined with the frenzied motion of his fist, was enough to start his own round of fireworks.  The hot liquid spewed up his torso, and he had a fleeting vision of spraying her beautiful breasts with it.

A guttural grunt filled her ears, and she knew he’d joined her on the other side. 

For no justifiable reason, pride swelled in her chest.  It was nearly incomprehensible that she had the ability to drive this sexually experienced man to pleasure with merely her voice. 

“Sunshine?” he asked after a moment, his breathing still deep as he slid back to reality.

“What, sweetie?”

“Would you think about something for me?”

“Sure.  What?”  She eased herself up against the headboard, dragging the sheet along to cover her breasts.  The twinkling city lights caught the corner of her eye, causing her to smile.  It was a nice view to come back to.

“If you want to keep using birth control, I’d really like it to be something besides condoms.”

After the things he’d just said to arouse her, Allegra knew immediately where he was coming from, and she agreed.  She wanted to feel all of him seated inside of her.  Wanted everything he had to give. 

“I’ll call the doctor in the morning.  I’m due for a checkup, anyway.”